HEY BADASS! LOOK AT YOU LOOKING ALL BADASS!

You don’t hunt animals with regular blah bullets. No sir! You also don’t shoot prey for the sport of it. You hunt ‘cause you’re hungry…like man did before you.

And for that reason you use Season Shot – the ammo with flavor.

Now I’m a bleedin' liberal, blue statin’, tree hugger by nature, but even I couldn’t be judgmental about this product. Why?

#1: It’s biodegradable ammo which means it leaves no bullet shell waste to litter our environment.

And (this is the best part) #2 it’s filled with herbs and spices. So once you hit the bird or beast it’s fully seasoned from the inside. Saves you time cookin’ up your catch.

Here’s the sucky part, it’s still in development. However you can click here to be notified of when the Season Shot will be ready to blast off. Hopefully pre-Turkey Day!

3 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE BLUE STUFF YOU SEE IN BARBER SHOPS

#1 – Barbicide® was invented by Maurice King in 1947.

#2 – Barbicide® kills almost every “cide” in the book like germicide, pseudomonacide, fungicide, and viricide, oh and HIV-1.

#3 – Maurice hated barbers so much he named the solution Barbicide® which means to kill barbers. Pleasant, right?

OH C’MON! IT’S A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF KITTENS PLAYING, HOW BAD COULD THE COMMENTS BE?

You’d think people would be pretty tame commenters for a video like this. 

And for the most part you’re right. Let me stress “for the most part.” 
Remember all you need is a pulse to comment on youtube. And honestly, the gems I chose aren’t necessarily nasty comments. They are just a bit off for a video about cute, cuddly kittens. 

THANKS TO THE MIRACLE OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY YOU CAN BUY “I SURVIVED HURRICANE IRENE” TSHIRTS RIGHT THIS SECOND.

YES! Not Worth Mentioning weathered the storm. There’s not a drop of rain outside right now. Yet thanks to a Jewish, overprotective wife, mother, and father inlaw I’m waiting for my overprotective Jewish Mayor Bloomberg to come on NY1 to tell me I’m allowed to go outside. Ho hum. Oh, one bonus to the storm is I finally figured out the CNN and Weather Channel channels on my TV. Anyhow, surprise, surprise, I have awoken to no less than 12 pages of Hurricane Irene merchandise available on Zazzle. Take a look.  

EMERGENCY HURRICANE PROCEDURES FOR READERS OF THE NOT WORTH MENTIONING BLOG

Mayor Bloomberg (snappy dresser below) has issued all kinds of warnings to New Yorkers this morning.

Pretty much Hurricane Irene weather conditions will make it impossible for the city to operate under normal conditions. So he has issued mandatory closings and shutdowns of all kinds of services including sanitation, public transportation, and all blogger bloggers (wordpress and tumblr seem to be fine). Don’t be a hero! Comment at a minimum or avoid this blog completely today. Further instructions will be provided when available. Repeat. DO NOT be a hero. Be smart and safe. 

SIBERIA 3-DAY WEATHER REPORT

4 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT A RATHER LARGE SCROTUM

#1- Scrotie is the official mascot of the Rhode Island School of Design’s hockey team – the Nads.

#2- Scrotie was introduced in the 2001 – 2002 season.

#3- Scrotie has been known to sport a red cape with his costume.

#4- The most popular cheer Scrotie chants with the crowd is, “GO NADS!”

GUESS THE SKIN RASH

I start out as random raised red spots. Quickly I progress to bursting blisters and open sores. I usually begin in the scalp, then I work my way down to the arms and legs. I am attracted to sunburns, eczema and even diaper rash. I am extremely itchy. What am I?

Click here for answer.

HELP! WHERE CAN I FIND A SLAUGHTERED DEAD COW PROP FOR LESS THAN $3000?

Please! Next time really try to challenge me. I barely broke a cyber-sweat searching. Just head on over to Hauntedprops.com. They got a slaughtered dead cow prop for ONLY $2,377.00.

Here’s what a bunch of Benjamins gets you  …

- A massive life-sized prop! 

- Foam filled latex with amazing detail that looks like the real thing up close. 

- Available in 3 different color schemes: Holstein (shown), Black, and South Western (call to specify).

- Very gross (their words, not mine).

SO WHO DOES EARNEST BORGNINE THINK ABOUT WHEN HE MASTURBATES?

It’s a valid question and I’ll tell you why. Actually, I don’t have to say anything. Take a viewing of this video.

I’m getting ahead of myself, since most of you are wondering who the heck Earnest is. Well here’s a quick rundown of Ernest Borgnine's career highlights.

• He won a best actor academy award for his role in the 1955 film Marty.
• Played Quinton McHale in McHale’s Navy (1962 – 66).
• In the mid-80s he starred in Airwolf.
• In the 90s he played a doorman in the NBC comedy Single Guy and won an emmy for a guest stint on ER.
• And most recently he’s been the voice of Mermaid Man in SpongeBob SquarePants. 

Now in his 90s, Ernie admits that his secret to longevity is masturbating…a lot. So who are the lucky ladies in his master-fantasies? I’m going to go out on a limb and say they are probably co-stars during his youthful days in Hollywood like …

Betsy Blair

Susan Hayward

Gina Lollobrigida

Any thoughts? Or is this too much to deal with on a Monday?

A BRIEF, BRIEF MOMENT IN FROZEN CONCENTRATED ORANGE JUICE HISTORY

American scientists invented Frozen Concentrated orange juice at the end of Word War II. It wound up being the best selling type of OJ for nearly 4 decades, and helped launch the Florida orange juice market.

FUN WITH GENERATORS part 2.

Give the guys at Atom Smasher credit for this virtual generator. C’mon! How can you not stare at this pic and get like a zillion ideas for your blog? I like it too ‘cause you have a lot of text room. Click here to get started and email me your post links when you’re done. Curious to see how you trumped me.

ARE MY 10 URL PICKS STILL AVAILABLE A YEAR AND CHANGE LATER?

On April 10^th, 2010 I used my super-genius brain for the good of all blog-kind. I came up with 10 awesome URLs that were totally up for grabs on godaddy. 

So how did I do a year and change later?

ORANGEBLISTER.COM

SAUCYHEAD.COM

PUFFDANCER.COM

STONEDGUY.COM

TUSHYMAX.COM

RICHKETCHUP.COM

PUKEBREATH.COM

CHEFSEXY.COM

HORRORFART.COM

WISHTOAD.COM

9 out of 10 still available. C’mon. That’s totally super-genius. Right?

BEST LEAF TO USE AS TOLIET PAPER

If you’re stuck in the woods with no toilet paper, reach for Aster Macrophyllus. Also more commonly known as the Bigleaf Aster. This leaf has a characteristically heart shape look. What makes it the perfect TP substitute is the large size and soft fuzzy feel. People in the logging industry refer to it as lumberjack’s toilet paper.

POSITIVE REVIEWS FROM THE LESS POPULAR STUFF ON AMAZON

Sorry, I have no frame of reference (or the body) for the following Floral Silicone Nipple Covers ($5.23 per pair). 

Thankfully there are not one, not two, but 36 Chatty Cathys with all kinds of opinions about this product. 36! Here are my top 4 picks.

HAPPY 55 ¼ YEARS POP ROCKS! SO DID YOU KILL MIKEY, OR WHAT?

Ok, by now we all know Mikey (the kid from the Life cereal commercial) did NOT die downing a packet and finishing it off with a Coke chaser. In fact, he’s currently an attorney in NYC. However, there are plenty of other things to discover about this fizzy favorite at poprockscandy.com.

Like who invented pop rocks? General Foods Chemist William A. Mitchell in 1956.

Why do Pop Rocks really pop? How can you create a Harry Potter-like bubbly potion with a simple Pop Rocks experiment? Or what goes into a Pop Rocks on the Beach mixed drink? 

You can also order new pop rock flavors like watermelon, cotton candy and Xtreme. Available in regular sizes or bulk.

Watch the Mythbusters put the “Mikey Pop Rocks” urban legend to the test.

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: SIGNED “DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?” POSTER

Now with just one glance you can relive all the joyous moments of "DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?" again and again and still again. That's 'cause for only a $26 bid on ebay you’ll be in the running to bring home this one-of-a-kind (slightly worn) collector’s item signed by master thespians Ashton and Sean. This cherished piece of art, nay, ultimate treasure will be a welcomed addition to any mantle, office, freshman dorm room, or nursery.

VIRTUAL GENERATOR OF THE DAY

This one stood out of the pack for obvious reasons. I mean who couldn't resist the title of your blog featured where Wayne Newton’s name should sit.

Click here to create your own sign in a few seconds. And click here for all the other sign generators. Danke schoen!

GIVE THE GIFT OF HEPATITIS!

Looking for a way to show that special someone how much your really care? How about HEP-A  – in plush toy form? Contract one for only $8.95 on Amazon. Collect the clap, the pox, Ebola and more. Each one hand sewn in the shape of that particular microbe. Also included with purchase are handy-dandy medical tips on how to avoid the real versions of these nasty little bugs.