ASK NWM: ARE THERE ANY PORN FILMS ABOUT PRESIDENTS?

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Today (President's Day) we’ll probably be bombarded with all kinds of lame presidential facts like:

Andrew Johnson was a tailor before becoming president.

Abraham Lincoln was our tallest U.S. president (6’4”).

George Washington’s favorite food was ice cream.

Though guaranteed NO ONE will attempt to answer (or would’ve bothered to ask) the top question, except yours truly. To be honest, I’m sure the answer is a resounding, YES. That’s like asking your local deli guy if he has anything with meat in it. I had assumed there’d be 100s of titles. Unfortunately, after an exhausted search (11 minutes on google) I only came up with 10.

All the Presidents Women (Las Vegas Video, 1994)

Debbie for President (Moonlight Entertainment, 1998)

Erections Presidentielles (Video Marc Dorcel, 2007)

Linda Lovelace for President (Gourmet Video, 1973)

Montana Gun for President (Fleshtone Productions, 1998)

Presidente (Showtime, 1999)

Presidential Peepers (unknown, 1975)

Sex, Lies and the President (Legend Video, 1998)

Obama is Nailin’ Palin (Hustler Video, 2009)

Hillary for President (Sex Z Pictures, 2008)

If I’m missing any please let me know.

THIS WEEK'S CROP OF OBAMA SHIRTS.

ANGRY RETIREE OP-ED: MEDICARE IN D FIB

by Barry S. (NWM Staff Writer)

OK, everyone's been talking about the proposed changes to health care so I suppose I should chime in. After all, I haven't seen any angry retiree being quoted. You can see plenty of them on TV demonstrating. And they should demonstrate because how else can they get their point across. But I have news for them. When all is said and done, get ready to see Medicare reduced. Oh, it wont happen overnight. When the final bill passes there will be projections of costs over the next ten years (and when did the government ever get cost projections right over one year let alone ten but that's another story) so Medicare will be safe for ten years (maybe). But after that it will be fair game and cut they will. So this generation will be safe. But people are living longer and what about the next generation? Before, people were worrying that Social Security would go broke. Now they can add reduced health care to their list of worries.

The NY Times has an article about Senator Bill Nelson of Florida struggling with this issue. He sounds like a decent guy who wants to look out for us seniors. But let me tell you Bill, give up. Medicare will be on the chopping block whatever you do.

FATTEST U.S. PRESIDENT? WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT!

See my money would’ve been on Teddy or Herbert. Nope! It was the Taft man. At 6 ft tall, he weighed in at a svelte 350 lbs. In fact, the Big Lub (his nickname) was so big he got stuck in the presidential bathtub. They actually had to make a specially designed tub, just for him. On a more positive note, Taft was the first president to throw out the opening pitch for a baseball season. He was wide, wide, wide...right. Sorry.

FITTING TRIBUTE FOR FORMER WASHINGTON FAT CAT!

Close your eyes and you could mentally picture this as a Will Ferrell skit on the ’02 season on SNL.

“America, reading is for wimps. Instead of some stupid library, I’d rather have a more fitting tribute to my legacy of strategery – The GW Doggie Chew Toy!”

Or something to that effect (I don't do the voice justice.) Fat Cat, Inc. has created new candidates for their doggy toy lineup: Hillary Clinton, GW and The Governator. These political party animal, squeak treats are made from highest quality material. They'll definitely have your dog's vote for "favorite toy" for years to come. Also available in catnip versions for the furry opposition.