POSITIVE REVIEWS FROM THE LESS POPULAR STUFF ON AMAZON

Horse Head Mask ($24.95)

14! Count ‘em 14 customer reviews for this puppy…or shall I say horsy. And most of 'em are positive! Show of hands, how many of you would be freaked out if your buddy jumped out from the closet wearing it?

On to the reviews. 

“OH, A ‘DIRTY TACO’ ISN’T WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.”

The words just popped into my head and immediately I thought it had to be something naughty. Just try saying it in a sentence. No matter what set of verbs, nouns, and conjunctions you use it comes out dirty.

Example:

Father Frank couldn’t attend the church social ‘cause he had a dirty taco the night before.

See what I mean? And to make matters worse I saw 4 suspect definitions on Urban Dictionary that I dare not repeat on this site. 

However, you can click here if you want to peruse ‘em.

THANKFULLY I did a bit more googling and a well known Mexican restaurant chain in Orlando, Florida set me straight. Check out the tag…

And yes, Dirty Tacos are the star attraction.

Click here to see a full menu and to find a Dirty Taco near you [yep, still sounds dirty].

SO HOW MUCH IS AN ARCHIE COMIC WITH AN INAPPROPRIATE COVER WORTH?

First off, do you see why it’s inappropriate? Oh, and by inappropriate I am totally NOT referring to the lengths Archie is willing to go through to defend his gal Betty.

If the A-man wants to do that to 3 guys all at once (in saltwater), that’s cool by me. No judgments. I’m just thinkin’ the subject matter might have been a tad inappropriate for the 1960s kiddies. I mean at least slap a parental advisory on this bad boy.

So the question is how much is this Archie comic worth? Checked out http://www.comicspriceguide.com and they set the value you at 44 bucks for a mint condition copy.  

Beat that DC and Marvel [groan]! 

GO AHEAD, USE ME.

Sure. Go on. The way I see it is I’m just a wackjob that pretty much writes a collection of verbal vomit. And you folks are nice enough to be loyal readers and check me out, sometimes every day. So I want to give something back. Nope, not another video or pic of me semi-naked and 100% stupid. I want to offer you my twitter feed. 

I have 2,309 twitter followers. Don’t ask how I got it. Did a lot of things I’m not proud of.

Anyhow, what I’m offering is a chance to use it for yourself. You give me the message and I’ll tweet it. No questions asked. 

So what’s the catch?

Well if push came to shove I’d love it if you joined my free site Bloggerdise – a place where bloggers and businesses link up (sorry, the sales pitch is force of habit).  

HOWEVER, you don’t have to join if you have a note from your doctor.

That’s pretty much it. Drop me an email if you want. Whenever you want.

Thanks again for reading! 

"OH THE SEMI-CRAZY FOODS WHITE PEOPLE LIKE TO EAT."

SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA STONED PEOPLE ARE EATING THIS …

PB&J Fries: Fries topped with peanut satay sauce and raspberry chipotle jelly! You can nab these puppies at the Potato Champion in Portland Oregon. 

WHO WANTS TO SEE AN HONEST TO GOD BLOGGER LOOKING ALL SWEATY IN A NYC PUBLIC RESTROOM?

The following photo was taken by yours truly. I was a handful of minutes away from boarding a 3 hr. NYC dinner cruise. The jacket was required. Yes, I look like a sweaty dork.

All in all the cruise was fun-ish. It was no Speed 2. I ordered the fish and had cheesecake for dessert. I’m bloated and buzzed as I type this last sentence. Not much else to say I guess.

IT WASN’T THE VIRGIN MARY OR JESUS, BUT I BET I STILL COULD’VE FETCHED A PRETTY PENNY FOR THIS FLATBREAD.

I did a double take when I saw this pack of Tandoori Naan flatbread. An amazing miracle image indeed, yet I wouldn't fetch as much on ebay for it. 

But hey, it's still there – plain as day. You see it right? C’mon! It’s so obvious!

Here’s a close up. Still don’t see it?

Okay, I’m circling it. How ‘bout now?

What about if I color in the two eyes, the ear, the nose and mouth? Give up? To me it’s a dead giveaway for either Hobbes in doll form …

… or it could definitely be Tigger.

 Kicking myself for not buying it! Darn!

URINE SAMPLE CANDY

It’s pretty much the post that writes itself. This is the description from candy warehouse …

“It's candy! Packaged in sterile urine sample containers, this sour liquid candy won't cause stage fright at the doctor's office. Just unscrew the cap and enjoy! Wait until people see you drinking your own pee pee sample.... you've never had so much fun with a medical container.”

Yellow Liquid Candy Urine Samples: 5CT Pack (only 10 bucks @ Candy Warehouse)

“WHASSUP SUPER FRIENDS” VIRAL VIDEO TURNS 5 YEARS OLD TODAY-ISH.

The original iconic "Whassup?!!" Bud commercial aired on Monday Night Football on December 20^th, 1999. The campaign ran all the way to 2002.

Right after that first "uuuuuu" syllable was uttered America was hooked. And "Wassuuuup?!!!" became a pop culture phenomenon. The catchphrase was featured pretty much everywhere and on anything like sound activated beer mugs, bobble heads, and other crap collectors' items! Even after the commercial campaign ended the memory still lived on in one of the first youtube viral hits of 2006 – “WHASSUP SUPER FRIENDS!!!

“SERIOUSLY DUDE, I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THIS FACT ON A MONDAY MORNING.”

Oh c’mon! I think you guys have a right to know. It does have to do with the founding fathers of this country. Conspiracy theory? Depends on how you look at it. I mean this isn’t area 51 cover-up worthy. However, I think it's up there. So thanks to a bit of googling I stumbled upon the Circumcision Information 
Resource Center of Colorado website. 

Had a lot of interesting facts on foreskin, the penis, biblical jewish law, and this phallic factoid...

Every American President until the mid-20th century was NOT circumcised, including George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

Totally blows your mind. Right? Hope this doesn't ruin your upcoming 4th plans.

HEY DADS! IF YOU WERE A TIGER SHARK HOW MANY TIES WOULD YOU GET ON FATHER'S DAY?

Technically you’d have the possibility of getting up to 82 ties. That’s how many babies a mama tiger shark can spit out in a litter. Though most of those tiger shark pups get eatin’ by their stronger brothers and sisters. And then again you’d probably get crap since sharks don’t take care of their young.

FYI…I got my dad noise-canceling headphones! Beat that sharks!!!

Happy Father’s Day!

DO THEY SELL BLACK PUDDING ONLINE? IF SO, WHERE?

I had a lot easier time finding this…oh wait, do you even know what Black Pudding is? If you guessed sausage I’d say you’re right if you’re about to eat it. Then after you downed a piece I’d tell you what it really is. Ready? Congealed cattle or pig blood. Black Pudding was first introduced to the world in 1868. 

So where can you by it online in 2011? Would you believe Amazon? 

Yep, you can nab an 8oz slab for only $4.99. 

Or you can get the Black Pudding ring for $7.99. Yum? Yum?

DO THEY SELL FROZEN MICE? IF SO, WHERE?

RodentPRO.com! Duh.

They’ve been around since 1993 and are headquartered in Evansville, Indiana. Essentially they sell frozen critters (rats, mice, guinea pigs, rabbits – and the occasional quail) to hobbyists, commercial reptile breeding facilities, raptor sanctuaries, and some of the nation's largest and the most respected zoos and aquariums across the country.

They sell mice of all ages (from pinkies to fuzzies to hoppers to weanlings to adults). Oh and for those people that own 7 or 8 crocs I included the mice price list. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.

POSITIVE REVIEWS FROM THE LESS POPULAR STUFF ON AMAZON

Liquid Ass ($5.75 @ Amazon)

The tag promises – smells like ass, only worse. Ahhh, but is that really true? Let’s go to the reviews!!!!

COULDN’T FIND THE PRISON BITCH TATTOO, BUT THIS ONE MEANS…

I googled, bing'd, and yahoo’d and came up with a bunch of false leads. Though I did find out what some of the other tats mean like the one above. Apparently the teardrop under the eye thing began in Australia and found its way into the U.S. prison system.

Though the meanings are totally different. Wearing a teardop in the land down under means you're a convicted child molester. While sporting the salty drop in the U.S. means that you lost somebody close to you in or out of prison.

Well that was a real downer of a post. Happy Hump Day!!!

BEFORE YOU DIE, DON’T YOU WANNA TRY THE HE-MAN CLUB SANDWICH?

I’VE HAD HOWIE MANDEL.

Oops, I’ve had THE Howie Mandel (aka: the #10) at the Stage Deli and it was to die for – CHICKEN SALAD, HARD BOILED EGG, LETTUCE AND TOMATO. What could be bad?

And now before I die (hopefully not for many, many, many years) I'd like to get down to...

(in Duncanville, TX) and try the He-Man club.

So what’s in a He-Man club? Pretty much what you’d expect.

FYI…the sandwich does include chips and a pickle spear. Sorry, no fried Orko.