FLY FALL WHITE GUY WEAR (for under 50 bucks)

I know I’m about to make some grand, generalized assumptions, but what the heck. I am white and I am a guy. Here are my 3 top picks I guarantee all white guys will love to wear this autumn.

TWILIGHT ECLIPSE CULLEN GROUP T-SHIRT ($8.98 @ Hot Topic)

Rationale: Real white guys like, no, LOVE clothes that feature trendy vampires.

CLASSIC BOOB INSPECTOR HAT ($16.85 @ Zazzle)

Rationale: A real white guy isn’t afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve or head.

EROTIC KILT COSTUME ($47.95 @ Yandy.com)

Rationale: Real white guys are diesel-looking and Scottish.

HEMP-TASTIC FROM HEAD TO TOE FOR UNDER $160

Stay in style and keep the planet green with an entire outfit made from 100% all-natural Hemp seeds.

Cotton and Hemp Hat available at Amazon for $21.99

Made from a unique blend of hemp and cotton.

Patagonia Shemp men’s Shirt - Hemp-Organic Cotton, Short Sleeve available at sierratradingpost.com for $44.95

Made from Earth-friendly hemp and organic cotton.

Hemp Canvas Drawstring Pants available at orvis.com for $79

Get incredible durability and breathability from pure hemp canvas.

Hemp Socks available at Gaiam for $12.

Made from a durable blend of 51% hemp, 38% organic cotton and 11% spandex.