TV SHOWS AND CHRISTMAS ALBUMS SHOULD NOT MATE

CHRISTMAS EVE TV MARATHONS START…NOW!

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

All my friends and coworkers pretty much up and left work early today to make sure they got to their relatives (in states beyond) in time for Jesus’s B-day. Instead of fighting the early eve-traffic I’ll probably just stay home and head out X-Mas morning (since the folks are spitting distance). So tonight I have a date with a pint of Hagen Daz Chocolate, Chocolate something and a gaggle of these Christmas Eve Marathons.

GHOST HUNTERS (SyFy): Professional ghostbusters lug their thousand dollar equipment to old hotels where they may or may not hear a bump in the night.

DEADLIEST CATCH (Discovery Channel): Nothing says Christmas like a boat full of chum.

VH1 POP UP VIDEO: Learn all you need to know about cheddar cheesy videos from seasons past.

A CHRISTMAS STORY (TBS): Required viewing.

WHITE CHRISTMAS (AMC): Bing at his best.

YULE LOG (WPIX): A must for any studio apartment dweller.

CHERISHED, CHEESY HOLIDAY SPECIALS FROM SEASONS PAST.

Before life with a zillion cable stations and webisodes there was just plain ol’ network TV. Back in my childhood days (70s to early 80s), the holiday season was a graveyard of reruns and really, really old movies. The only glimmer of hope we had for anything new (or at least new-ish) were those yearly cheesy LIVE Holiday specials. Shows that featured the best and brightest from tv and film belting out Christmas classics, unleashing vast amounts joy and a few stale, G-rated jokes along the way. Here are some of my fave corny classics…

BOB HOPE HOLIDAY SPECIALS (70s-80s): Old Ski Nose was the king of holiday specials (spanning almost 4 decades). As a kid I remember laughing my ass (encased in Underdog footsy pajamas) off. I also remember being slightly confused as to why I really liked seeing Dolly Parton, Loni Anderson or Cheryl Ladd dressed in skimpy reindeer outfits.

STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (1978): A 2hour special that celebrated the success of “New Hope” mixed in with a little Christmas cheer. Tons of movie character cameos (Carrie, Harrison, Mark, R2...). Probably the oddest scene (which is saying a lot) featured Bea Arthur slinging drinks to Harvey Korman in the Cantina.

DONNY AND MARIE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (1978) Similar to Bob Hope, Donny and Marie usually had a star studded affair – plus a slew of older Osmonds and purple socks.

JOHN DENVER AND THE MUPPETS: A CHRISTMAS TOGETHER (1979) John rocked the tunage with Rowlf, Animal, Kermit and Piggie – No Emmet and the Jug-Band . Aired on ABC. The soundtrack was released on CD in 2006 with some extra special tracks.

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED CHEAT SHEET.

This week Rudolph will be making its yearly appearance for the 45th time on TV. If you are lucky enough to share this time-honored tradition with a new, younger viewer, here’s the line-up of all Santa-supporting characters to help you both out.

Rudolph: Deer born with mutant ability to light up its nose…and fly.

Hermy the Misfit Elf (not to be confused with land of Misfit toys): Elf that wants to be a dentist. Befriends fellow outcast Rudolph.

Sam the Snowman: The narrator of the show, voiced by folk singer Burl Ives.

Clarice the Doe: Rudolph’s girlfriend that accepts him for who he is.

The Bumble (a.k.a. the Abominable Snow Monster of the North): Evil Yeti that has a change of heart in the end.

Yukon Cornelius: Explorer looking for mines of peppermint.