INSTEAD OF THE ASS, GO FOR THE SEXY TOOTH TATTOO.

Next time you go to the dentist for a crown fitting think long and hard. Do you want the regular blah, ivory white, polished look? OR do you want the face of David Letterman? Thanks to the latest in tattoo teeth tech, you now have that option. New parlors like Toothartist offer a wide selection of hand-painted tooth art like Simon Cowell, Bob Dillon, Tiger Woods, plus all kinds of animals and symbols. Prices for tooth tattoos range from $75 to $500, depending on the artwork and the crown material. Most people go for the back teeth that aren’t viewable unless you choose. They also can be easily removed by your dentist with just a 5 minute grinding session.

EVEL DICK RISES AGAIN…SORTA!

No typo. The Evel Dick I’m referring to is none other than Mr. Richard Louis Donato – contestant and winner of Big Brother 8. TV guide recently honored him with the coveted “Evil TV reality Villains” award along with Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay. At this point Dick's pretty much got a reality-recognizable factor similar to Richard Hatch, Omarosa, plus John, Kate and the 8s. Post BB8, ED's newfound stardom has rocketed him into a stand-in gig for Keith Richards on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and a Hustler cover appearance (he charges 25 bucks for an autographed copy). Of course, his bread and butter is pretty much sticking close to the CBS House. This year he has teamed up with past alumni Janelle to offer their own play-by-play on Big Brother 11. Fun with Dick and Janie might or might not air on Thursdays, online at 7-ish pm ET/ 4-ish PT. Don't bother checking your local listings.

Watch a sample episode, chock full of Evel Dick's colorful commentary –