BLIZZARD IN NYC LEFT ME NOTHING TO DO, BUT TO EAT A WHEAT THIN DIPPED IN PEPTO-BISMOL

It’s true. With 20 ft of snow outside of my apartment I was trapped in my apartment. And as a result, I was left with little nourishment to satisfy my increased food cravings due to an overindulgent holiday. So since I couldn’t enjoy my traditional post-holiday dessert (FroYo Phish Food with Hershey’s dessert topping)... 

....I made do with what I had. [enjoy]

Think I’m lying? That this is some form of trick photography? Take a look at the pink drip on the corner of the cracker.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR VERY OWN BADASS, WILLIE NELSON SLED.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Today I have been blessed with a snow day from work. Yippee!! Tempted to relive my childhood and find some park to go sledding. Problem is I know I’m going to be upstaged once I hit the hill with my old, plastic, piece of crap sled. Of course if I was feeling productive I could EASILY show everyone up by making the most badass sled on the planet – THE WILLIE NELSON WIND RIDER!

Supplies:

• Big cardboard box
• Scissors
• Computer w/ printer
• Clear duct tape
• A friend
• Markers
• String

Directions:

Step 1. Cut out a side of the box.

Step 2. Lay down on the cardboard piece and have a friend trace an outline of the top part of your body. For argument sake, let’s say down to your waist.
PLEASE NOTE: If the waist is thin, add a bit more width to it.

Step 3. Cut out the outline.

Step 4. Now find a headshot photo of Willie Nelson on the World Wide Web®.

Step 5. Print out photo as big as you can.

Step 6. Cut out Willie's head and tape it to the head portion of your cardboard cut-out.

Step 7. Poke a small hole on top of Willie’s head as well as through the cardboard.

Step 8. Wrap clear duct tape around the entire photo (prevents the snow from ruining your Willie head).

Step 9. Poke a hole in the tape where you positioned the original hole.

Step 10. Run a sturdy, long piece of string through the hole and knot it. This is what you'll use to hold on to.

Step 11. Use markers to color the rest of the body.

Step 12. Fold up the arms, grab your Willie sled and hit the hill!!

Please send all WILLIE NELSON WIND RIDER photos to jcohen7523@gmail.com

NORTH POLE, ALASKA WEATHER REPORT FOR THURSDAY (10/1)

Today

Cloudy. Flurries. Highs around 40. Light winds.

Tonight

Mostly cloudy. Lows 20 to 25. Light winds.