EROTIC STRESS BALL OF THE DAY

The Viagra Pill Stress Ball comes to us from Curiosite for only $9.86. It’s the perfect solution for when life is being Hard On You (get it?) Also tried thinking of a joke that included “penis,” but my mind was a total blank.

Here’s Curiosite’s product description:

This enormous pill is a very appropriate gift for that friend who's always complaining about his pathetic sex life. What better way to relieve tension and stress than by squeezing an enormous ball shaped like Viagra!

GAY ICE CREAM KICKS STRAIGHT ICE CREAM’S ASS.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. So much so that I believe there should be a proposition to vote on it come November. I mean c’mon! How can you deny yourself the pleasure of experiencing a treat from the BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK?

Sadly this fierce flavor-mobile only makes its rounds in NYC. Here’s its schedule.

So what does the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck deliver? Here’s a taste of what you’re missing…

Here’s the Big Gay Truck in action!

BITCH PLEASE!

Feel bad that ol’ Butch can't share a brew with you this summer? Well wipe away those tears and get to amazon to fetch a 6 pack of 3 Busy Dogs Bowser Beer. This Beefy Brown Ale goes for only $15.99.

Here’s the product description…

Bowser Beer is a non-alcoholic, non-carbonated beer for dogs. All ingredients are American made and we make our broth from scratch - no onions, salt or fat is added. Malt barley is good for shiney coats and glucosamine aids in joint health. They are packaged in 12 -ounce plastic recyclable bottles with tamper-proof re-sealable caps.

And here’s a personal message to you from the creator of Bowser Beer.

1 MOVIE YOU’RE NEVER EVER GOING TO SEE, SO I’LL JUST GO AHEAD AND SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU

Little Nicky (2000)

Nicky’s rock buddies steal Led Zeppelin's old touring plane (from somewhere.) They crash the plane into hell so they can keep rocking forever. Nicky’s mom marries her fitness instructor. Oh and Nicky and Patricia Arquette have a son. I’m pretty sure that’s all of it. 

SO WHAT’S THE GOING RATE FOR VICIOUS DICTATOR MEMORABILIA?

Manuel Noriega. Pound for pound not the highest on the "ruthless" scale. I mean ok, he was Commander of Panama Defense Forces and de facto ruler of Panama from Aug. 12, 1983 to Dec. 20, 1989. Not sure what half that sentence meant, but what I do know is he was convicted on April 9, 1992 on eight counts of drug trafficking, money laundering and racketeering. So I feel like that bumps him up on the scorecard.

And speaking of cards, you can now own a piece of Mr. Manuel history. The above 1963 Christmas Card is actually autographed by the grand ruler himself. The price for this killer prize? $799.00 @ History for Sale. 

CHAMPAGNE WISHES AND CAVIAR DREAMS FOR YOUR TUSHY (pt. 2)

Looks like Renovo’s luxury toilet paper has nabbed the top honors for most expensive toilet tissues. The prime ingredient for this uber-soft, 3-ply TP is 100% virgin pulp. Makes each wipe feel like an ass-kiss of luxury. Plus, they come in all kinds of vibrant cool colors like black, red, green, orange, blue and fuchsia. PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

A 2 pack goes for $4. 

And a 6 pack goes for almost 12 bucks. 

Click here to treat your tushy to the good stuff.

PORN BY NUMBERS

Release the inner [insert famous Italian porn painter name here] in you for only $25. Am I wrong for assuming all porn painters are from Italy? 

Anyhow, the kit includes everything in the pic above, even the fancy metallic frame. Here's how the finished painting looks (censored for the kiddies). 

Kinda looks like Julie Newmar, no? For all those under 36, that’s actress number two that played the villainous Catwoman on the campy classic – Batman! Meow!!