POTATO AND CHOCOLATE – TWO GREAT TASTES, THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER?

From Royce’, (the Japanese company that brought you 食感に仕上げまし) comes the decadently, delicious potato chip chocolate. Available in three flavors: dark chocolate, milk chocolate and vanilla. Each chip is double dipped (on one side) in Royce’s high quality, rich chocolate. The taste has the essence of a chocolate pretzel, only with a lighter crunch. The chips themselves are lightly dusted with a symphony of brown and cane sugars. This not only offers a savory, sweet taste, but also plays nicely with the chocolate.

NWM tip: Keep in the fridge to prevent melting.

SPIDER-MAN – THE BROADWAY MUSICAL!

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

In 1997 when the WB decided to make a TV show out of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I laughed. I thought it’d be the stupidest thing on the planet. Course Joss and friends made me eat my words. I thought Sex and the City the movie would bomb. Wrong again. Now Marvel, Bono and The Edge have teamed up to compose the musical Spider-man: Turn off the Dark.

My Spider-senses are telling me no doubt, this one will SUCK! Maybe I’m jumping the gun. And again, I’d be more than happy to admit I’m wrong. Something just tells me that sinking a boatload of money into this project is not a wise move. Be that as it may, (after taking a closer look at the site) they do have impressive creds. Aside from U2, they’ve signed on Tony award winning director (of the Lion King) Julie Taymor. Even respectable thespians like Alan Cumming and Rachel Wood have joined the spider-crew. Of course (forgetting all that good stuff), the other thing that disturbs me is the villainess sir Bono created. Swiss Miss! Totally, not kidding. And no, it’s not the girl on the hot cocoa packets (though I can imagine the lawsuit brewing). Rumor has it her power is she shoots all kinds of blades.

So basically, theatergoers are going to be treated to 2 hours plus of a guy in spandex hopping around on stage, fighting a little, singing girl with knives. I’d swear on my life I won’t be in the audience in 2010, but then again, I sat through Starlight Express – twice.

“SKANK” LABEL, NOT FOR JUNIORS!

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

Wait in breathless anticipation no longer – Zazzle just got a fresh shipment of HOT SKANK tees. Available in all sizes (baby doll and up). More good news, they come in lilac. Unfortunately, my jubilation was cut short when I discovered they also have Lil’ skank shirts – for toddlers!

Look, I’ll be the first one to laugh at the baby t-shirts like Brat in Training or Mama’s Little Bitch (actually, that might have been a doggy tee). Bitch and brats are instant labels. Pretty much based on personality. I feel like SKANK is a name you have to earn.

In my mind, it’s a HO with wisdom. A BEEATCH that’s been around the block – if you will. I say this because I am a SKANK! Well, at least I’ve been called one from time to time. Sure it pissed me off to hear this verbal scarlet letter.

However now, (after many years and a couple of couch sessions) I've come to grips with it. I actually wear SKANK as a badge of honor. Similar to you guys proudly displaying an old fighting scar. It’s part of who I am. I just feel that offering up the “skank worthy” title at such an early age is wrong! You’re robbing them of a defining moment in womanhood. A growth experience. A right of passage. That being said, the 2T long sleeve shirts are kinda cute. And yes, they do come in ash.

Click here for all SKANK sizes and styles. No judgments.

YOGA FOR DOGS!

“OREO! NO JUMPING ON THE COUCH!”

A common phrase I hear my friends yell all the time. They (like millions of others) constantly deal with the frustration of having an overly-hyped up dog. With dual income families, this tends to be more and more, a common occurrence. Especially if you live in a house without a whole mess of running room. Sure you could dump a ton of cash to reserve an hour with your very own dog whisperer/trainer. OR, spend just $19.99 on the Yoga4dogs DVD. Performed by Amy Steven’s, a licensed Yoga instructor that has appeared on the Today Show. Her latest DVD features a series of stretching exercises that you can do with your dog. Done right, Amy’s routine can help your canine’s…

• Flexibility
• Increases positive energy
• Enhance core strength
• Aid in digestion
• And yes, reduce stress and resolve behavior issues.

Click here to find out how you can achieve doggy bliss.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE JEWISH TO ORDER A BAGEL WITH LOX.

by Jason Cousler (NWM Staff Writer)

It happens every Sunday. I get up extra early and go for my run. Usually, I jog around the neighborhood. Then on my way back I stop at Pick-A-Bagel on 23^rd and 3^rd (in NYC). I always order my favorite. Toasted plain bagel with egg salad, and a Yoo Hoo. Today, I felt like something different. I still wanted the bagel, mind you. I just got tired of having the same egg salad taste every time. So I ventured over to the area of the counter where I had NO experience at all. Seasoned fish. First, I saw what I think was sable and creamed herring. Neither which I had really ever heard of. Then the lox caught my eye. I actually had watched an episode of the Nanny where they were at a Briss. That's the thing when they cut off the male baby’s extra skin and have a party. Anyway, they were all eating lox and cream cheese on a bagel. I figured, how bad could it be? So I ordered some lox on an everything bagel with cream cheese. It was a bit more money, but WOW was it worth it. The lox had this salty, salmon caviar type taste. Though it wasn’t over-powering. I guess, ‘cause of the cream cheese. And combined with the garlic and poppy seed, seasoned, crunchy crust – pure heaven. I’d definitely order it again. Later, after some googling, I found that the traditional order includes a slice of tomato and onion. Says the veggies too, really enhances the flavor of the lox. Guess I’ll see next Sunday.

INTERVIEW WITH CATERER FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

Shari (what she asked to be called) is now retired, and lives on the upper east side in Manhattan. However, once upon a time, she worked in the craft service biz in Hollywood CA. Recently, I was able to sit down with Shari, and ask her about the glory days at Ren-Mar Studios. Working as a caterer on the set of the Golden Girls.

NWM: So when did you actually start working with Blanch, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia?

SHARI: I started when they were two seasons in. It was 1987 I think. I worked for Star Nosh craft services.

NWM: Did you only work for Golden Girls?

SHARI: Pretty much. All the shows had their own caterers. One of my friends worked for the company that serviced Empty Nest.

NWM: How were the cast and crew?

SHARI: Very friendly. Not at all demanding compared to other places I worked. One time they had to hold off shooting on the set of Webster ‘cause one of the directors had to have a black and white cookie with his Diet Shasta.

NWM: Did you ever get to talk to any Golden Girl stars?

SHARI: Not as much as you’d think. We’d set up while they were shooting. Though, Betty once asked me for my Blueberry Cobbler recipe.

NWM: What did you mostly make for them?

SHARI: Depends on the time of day. Usually danish and coffee for the early morning shoots. Sandwiches and pasta salads for lunch. Estelle loved our tortellini and tomato salad. Dinner usually varied a lot depending on the shoot time. Nothing too heavy, usually.

NWM: And what was your fondest memory.

SHARI: Without a doubt it was when I watched Bea Arthur’s schnauzer, Remy – during a day shoot. She was sooo thankful, she actually gave me a special Golden Girls Christmas ornament. Unfortunately I lost it when I moved last October. Still, she was a class act all the way.

INFLATABLE SHEEP BACHELOR PARTY FAVOR / POOL FLOAT

Note to upcoming Best Men and Maids of Honor. Hopefully your buddy is doing the marriage thing once, so send ‘em off right. DON'T SKIMP! Spend a bit more on the champagne. Buy a top quality phallic water bottle. And above all, don’t go cheap on the inflatable doll. Sure, it’s the funny appetizer to the night. Usually discarded early. A one trick prank. But honestly, it sets the mood and the bar for the evening. So X the flimsy, rubbery stuff and go to bachelorettepartydolls.com. They offer all types of high-end inflatable dolls (from Shari to Butch). All made from 100% vinyl. Plus, bachelorpartydolls.com also has the latest in cutting edge, adult, blow-up entertainment, like anatomically correct pig and sheep dolls. Again, made from material so sturdy it could double as a pool float for the kids. After you clean it.

See inflatable sheep in action.

WARNING: RICK ASTLEY VIRUS STILL RAMPANT ON YOUTUBE!

Surprisingly, I've found YOUTUBE to be one of the best sources for learning how to do a specific thing with computer software. I just search the name of the program, and what I’m trying to do. I usually get about 5 or 6 videos that deliver clear, step-by-step instructions. It’s informative, and best of all, free. Recently however, I’ve had trouble finding videos. Not ‘cause they don’t exist mind you. It’s just that they’re wedged between all of these new "shock reveal" pranks. Those are the videos with the seemingly innocent title. You click on it, and it starts to play what you think has to do with the video topic. Only after ten seconds it suddenly cuts off to reveals a scary face (like Linda Blair from the Exorcist) complete with crazy screams. More recently, people (like myself) have been treated to the next version of this video virus – Astley’d. Simply put, it’s the same format as the scare videos. Only this time it’s Rick Astley’s mug at the end of the video with the phrase – YOU’VE BEEN ASTLEY’D! Now personally, I don’t have anything against the mid-80s crooner. I just don’t want him ^%$$%^ up my instructional videos. So surf carefully. ‘Cause there’s no rhyme or reason for these Astleys. And it's only a matter of time before we all get BOLTON'd!

The RA positive virus has even spread to network TV.

BEN AFFLECK IS IN IT TOO.

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

The other day I was walking (in the sweltering heat mind you) down some nameless street in New York. Since summer is starting to wind down there are movie posters a plenty. One that caught my eye was for a Mike Judge film, Extract. It’s being billed as the next Office Space. Of course just like any movie with a decent marketing budget, I see a series of signs. One with just the title, and the tagline that reads – This Labor Day, the creator of OFFICE SPACE heads back to work. Then I see one with Jason Bateman’s head. And still another poster with Mila Kunis (the 70s show chick). My interest was piqued. So IMDB’d it at work, and low and behold I see that Ben Affleck’s also in it. This is what? The like, umpteenth movie where Ben has dropped down in title star status. In Hollwoodland he had an “also starring” role, but at least he was on the poster. Granted his image was a bit smaller than Adrian Brody, but still. On the He’s Just Not That In To You poster, he was relegated to some “Love Boat” type guest star, circular thing at the bottom. And now, 2009, he didn’t even make the paper cut (well, if you don’t count the bottom teeny tiny credits).

I’m not about to pull a Mr. Crocker’s LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE / bro-mance routine. I’m just a simple New Yorker, baffled by Hollywood. I mean a decade (and change) ago this guy was on the stage receiving Oscar gold. Now, he barely makes film credits?

Look, we are more than a forgiving nation. Granting people (that fall from grace) one, two, three, even four chances at a comeback. Case in point, Mr. Vick had dogs fighting to the death. Puppies dying! Yet he did his time. And now he’s out, and an Eagle. So what did Ben do that was so bad? Bennifer 1? 2? As far as I can tell, his only real crime was poor movie judgment. And for that, we sentence him to eternal damnation. Just cause he decided to do Forces of Nature, Bounce, Jersey Girl and Reindeer Games (which admittedly, I happened to like). Even hits like Armageddon did nothing for him. Tinsel town forgives lots of things, but NOT an actor that makes 6 or more duds.

The way I see it, Ben has pretty much two choices. Stick to his lot in “non-movie poster-credit” life, OR try and beat the slump. If it was me, I’d do the following to kick the curse. Slum in TV-land. Get a role on some edgy, FX drama (with curse words), and shoot for an Emmy or Globe nod. OR, I’d go really, really indie, and play some daring “non-good looking” role – like some Hungarian, mute, leper artist or something. He does that, and I’m pretty sure he’ll escape Gigli 2.

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: 101 BAZOOKA JOE COMICS

Yours for only $3.75. 101 comics in perfecto shape (no creasing or tears). The buyer is 56% sure there are no duplicates.

As a Bazooka bonus you also get:

- 15 'learn French with Bazooka Joe' comics

- 15 'learn Spanish with Bazooka Joe' comics

- 1 Hebrew Bazooka comic

Click here to buy this Bazooka bonanza.

I AM A SHORT PERSON. AND YES, I USED TO WEAR LIFTS.

Now that I’m married (to a WAY shorter person), I have no problem admitting to this past hidden, fashion accessory. My driver’s license says I’m officially 5’ 5”. Truth be told, I’m 5’ 4 ¾”. A height that very much SUCKED when dating. I did one of those online “connect with girls” sites (rhymes with PlayDATE). When it came to my profile, I did fudge that little fact. I think I said I was 5’ 6”-ish. As guys, there are all kinds of things we can do to keep the “good looking” illusion alive when meeting face-to-face. Wear vertical stripes or dark colors for a slimming effect. Leave the shoulder pads in the jacket. Stuff like that. However, it’s hard to fake 5’6”. Best I could do was get there early, and be seated before she arrived. Then I’d do the obligatory half-stand when she got to the table (to conceal, yet make it seem like I was chivalrous). Thankfully, halfway through my dating slump, I discovered the Richlee company (designers of elevator shoes since 1939). On the site you’ll find pretty much any type of shoe style. And they honestly look like regular shoes. Casual, dress, sports, sandals – they've got 'em all. The one difference being is that they have an insert inside to give you that extra lift. How much? It changes, depending on the shoe. They list the inch lift in the shoe description. Back in the day, I had bought the Nubuck Plain Toes that gave me an extra 2.5”. Might not seem like a lot to you tree people, but that’s putting me in the 5’7” range – an inch past my imaginary height. I was finally able to fake tall. At least 'til it was a beach date.

If you do wind up buying a pair, there are two things you should keep in mind. 1.) At times they are a bit tricky to balance in. The insert tends to move around. It's sorta like walking in heels (so I’ve heard). 2.) The insert also weighs your feet down. Not by much, but after walking a while it’ll give you quite a workout.

All in all, Richlee makes a quality shoe that I'd totally recommend. A bit expensive, but then again, it's a small price to pay for a BIG 2.5 inches.

TOP 4 WEIRD NFL BETS, NO JOKE!

The 2009 – 2010 NFL season has already had some bizarre betting scenarios, even before the first official game has kicked off. Will Brett Favre come out of mini-retirement – again? Is Mike Vick team worthy? Granted, most probably missed these odd gambling odds. However, there are plenty of weird wagering you can take advantage of for game time. Brought to you by the folks at BetUs.com and the city of Las Vegas.

Please NOTE: Some of these bets are reserved for the Super Bowl.

First item (caught on camera) being thrown on stadium field:

- Concession stand staples (hotdogs, pretzels, coffee, pizza, nachos, etc.)

- Batteries

- Snowballs (depends on region and season)

- eggs (rotten or hardboiled)

NWM Pick: Go with Pretzel. Easiest to fling.

How long will it take to sing the National Athem?

NWM Pick: Standard bet is under 2 minutes.

Which player will most likely get arrested first, before or after the Super Bowl?

NWM Pick: Too early to tell at this point. Though Pacman and TO might be good options.

First End Zone celebration of the game:

- Touchdown spike

- Roundoff or backflip 


- Snow angel

- Chicken dance

- Dunks football through uprights

- The worm

- Pulls out cell phone

- Pulls out Sharpie, signs football

- Moonwalk

- The Hora

- Macarena

NWM Pick: Chicken Dance all the way.

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: TV GUIDE WITH CAST OF CHIPS ON COVER

Truly a must-have for any TV Guide collector. This 1982 (Jan. 30^th – Feb. 5^th) cover features the 3^rd and final appearance of the Chips cast members. Ponch, Jon and Sgt. Getraer are beautifully illustrated by famed Atari 2600 cover artist – Myles Tellerman. In fair condition (few cover scratches and a piece missing from the binding). Yours for only $7.99. Click here to buy or bid.

TOP 3 DOGGIE TREATS (THAT AREN’T SO BAD) TO EAT ON A DARE.

The allure of humans eating dog treats – a classic money bet. Let’s face it, with this economy you might find yourself in this situation. If you do, keep these three rules in mind.

1.) Go for the dry-ish stuff over the canned, wet, congealed food (easier to stomach).

2.) Size matters – you’ll do much better with 3 little treats, instead of scarfing down a big biscuit.

3.) Get the money up front (anything less than $20 is highway robbery).

As far as which is the best brand to snack on, here are the top 3 NWM picks:

Snausages: At a quick glance it does sorta look like an elongated pig in a blanket. So at least it’s visually appealing. Plus, it’s got cheese with a savory beefy center. Not so bad texture wise.

Milk Bone biscuits (for puppy or small dogs): Has the consistency of dry, dry crackers. Big plus is that they are teeny-tiny. Don’t let the colors fool you. They all taste the same.

Purina Beggin’ Strips: Go for the original Bacon. It definitely has a strong, bacony aroma, so that’s good. The only problem is this one is slightly chewy. Might be bad for the gag factor.

All of these choices are small enough that a big glass of water will be a big help in forcing down. Just check the warning label before eating. Dollars to donuts the bet purse won’t cover a trip to the hospital.

WHERE’S VICKI THE ROBOT?

The syndicated classic SMALL WONDER debuted on FOX in '85. Back then syndicated shows had a real uphill battle when it came to finding an audience. For one thing, they didn’t have a zillion cable stations to land a cushy primetime spot. Nope. Syndi-comedies like What's Happening Now, Out of This World and Yakov Smirnoff's What a Country were stuck slumming in the Saturday afternoon, network graveyard shift (4 – 6pm). Though out of all of 'em, Small Wonder did manage to survive for 4 seasons. So where’s the cast now?

Vicki The Robot (Tiffany Brissette): Tried to make a go at acting, appearing in the short-lived Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Currently Tiffany works as a nurse in Boulder Colorado.

Jamie Lawson (Jerry Michael Supiran): Did the sitcom circuit after, guest starring on Newhart and Mr. Belvedere. Then graduated to TV movies (Policewoman Centerfold and Love Thy Neighbor). Unfortunately, there have only been rumors circulating about Jerry's current career paths. Some say he's a roadie for bands like Alice In Chains. Others swear they’ve seen Jerry working at a Taco Bell somewhere in California.

Ted Lawson (Dick Christie): Managed to keep up with the acting a bit longer. His credits include Who’s The Boss, Hunter and Mama’s Family. In 1999 he wrote the romantic comedy Molly.

Joan Lawson (Marla Pennington): Marla too kept busy in the 80s with appearances on Happy Days, The Incredible Hulk and Soap. In 2009 she’ll be seen on the big screen in the movie Imps. An uber-racially-charged, offensive film that oddly wasn’t released for 20 years…‘til now.

Harriet Brindle (Emily Schulman): Probably the biggest success story. Originally a commercial starlet featured in spots for McDonalds, Mattel, Quaker Oats and Pepsi. Now she works as a commercial agent head in LA.

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: PINK, CAMO HOODIE FOR SMALL DOG

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BATTLEFIELD EARTH (DVD) EASTER EGG TALLY: 5

ATTENTION all 3 people that bought L. Ron Hubbard’s Battlefield Earth DVD. Today, the 5^th and final Easter Egg has been discovered! Here’s the current rundown of all the hidden gems.

1.) For B-Roll Footage and Make up Tests:  Go to main menu on Special Features. Press right to highlight the spaceship. Then press enter.

2.) Even more B-Roll Footage: One second page of Special Features Menu highlight the pyramid and press enter.

3.) Cool Stunt Clips: Highlight hidden elements in Cast & Crew section.

4.) Bazooka Shot: Go to Scene Selections (chapter 7-12) and scroll through until the hidden Psychlo image appears. Then press enter for scene.

5.) Mystery Hidden Clips: Watch movie with the Audio commentary. You'll eventually see a psycho letter appear on the sceen. Select it and you'll be beamed to the extra behind-the-scenes footage.

Special thanks goes out to Starbuck54 for finding that last one. Definitely worth the wait!

ODDEST SOFTCORE FETISH MAGAZINE: GIRLS AND CORPSES

To me, probably the Mecca of odd fetish porn will always be Amsterdam’s Red Light District. It’s like some bizarro Great Adventure Animal Safari trip. Streets of scantily clad women, gyrating in day glow cages. Of course entering the sex shops I realized that I had only been to the petting zoo. The underbelly’s belly was right within these aged brick walls. Inside was every type of fetish known to man, woman and beast. I actually winced once or twice. Winced! And I’m a grown man, with years of “accidentally surfing for questionable internet content" under my belt. Anyway, since then I’ve sorta been numb to the whole porn scene. Not that I’ve seen it all. I’m just not surprised as easily. Especially when it comes to magazine racks (west of the art annuals where the covered issues reside). All the low budget stuff looks the same. It’s gotten so that the soft-core mags (FHM, Stuff, Mob Candy, King) are almost on the same level. At least that’s what I thought, until I laid my eyes on the ultimate softcore fetish crossover GIRLS and CORPSES. There’s no way to describe it other than a zombie on girl themed mag. Just check the site’s cover gallery and you’ll see what I mean. Bikini babes ogling charred skeleton remains. Workout women rubbing up against a decomposing, zombie yoga instructor. Flipping through the mag is like an odd fetish flashback to Amsterdam, only with black tape on the privates. Pretty much anything that’s rolling around our muddy sub-sexual-culture they’ve got an article about (with photo spread). Plus, interviews with twisted, horror gore masters like Rob Zombie. They also one up Maxim with their special Girls & Corpses calendar. October's – Seductive Swimmer And Rotting Body In Bermuda Shorts totally does it for me. Check it out.