SOCCER TAUNT OF THE DAY

If you are one of these fans, and you find yourself piss drunk – here’s a classic soccer insult (in Spanish) you can yell out to the crowd...at your own risk.

Su equipo juega como un rebaño de cabras ciegas, sin madre.

Your team plays like a herd of blind, motherless goats.

CHEWING GUM ART.

Gum to you might be 3 to 5 minutes of chewing pleasure, but to Italian artist Maurizio Savini it is a means to create. His series of gum and fiberglass statues have been featured in museums and galleries throughout Europe.

WHY DO DOGS SNIFF CROTCHES?

Congrats Adam @ http://linkrandom.blogspot.com/ for winning yesterday’s contest.

WHO SAID IT: LADY GAGA, GARY BUSEY, OR PEPPERMINT PATTY?

The game is simple. Read the quote and figure out who said it. To find out the answer just click on the quote. It will be linked to the correct person. First person to answer will be crowned BLOG OF THE DAY & NEW BLOG OF THE DAY for the entire week.

1- "The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon." 

2-"Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it."

3-"I'm always sure about things that are a matter of opinion." 

4-"If you take shortcuts, you get cut short."

5-"The more time you take to come clean, the less time it takes dirt to come for you."

6-"Sometimes in life you don't always feel like a winner, but that doesn't mean you're not a winner, you want to be like yourself."

2006 CALLED...THEY WANT THEIR SOFTCORE PORN BACK.

The 2006 classic “A Sexy Western” is only $19.99 @ Adult DVDempire.com. Not sure if this is a Memorial Day sale price so you better hurry.

WHEW! I ALMOST STEPPED IN THIS.

Thankfully my quick 40 plus agile like skills saved me. Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

HOORAY! NEW EASTER EGG FOUND ON POISON DVD

DVD: Poison [Greatest Video Hits] $16.48 @ Amazon

Easter Egg: Once the MAIN MENU screen appears click on the BONUS VIDEOS. The song SO TELL ME WHY will be highlighted. Press on your remote and it will highlight the SKULL at the bottom of the menu. Press enter and you will be treated to 4 minutes of kick-ass concert footage from Poison’s 1999-2000 tour.

3 FRED FACTOIDS OF THE DAY

Mr. Rogers composed all the music for the show and over 200 tunes.

He dropped out the Ivy League school Dartmouth to attend Rollins University to pursue a career in music.

Fred was color blind (couldn’t see the color blue).

2 GIRLS 1 CUP T-SHIRT OF THE DAY

2 GIRLS 1 CUP TSHIRT ($24-ish @ Zazzle.com)

• Heavyweight t-shirt.
• Tagless design.
• Pre-shrunk.
• Double-needle stitched hems.
• Imported.

Little known fact: the viral video was actually just a trailer to the feature film Hungry Bitches.

TURN YOUR PET POOP INTO PAY DIRT

Just head on over to AgriSeek. 

Rabbit Manure Pellets

Fresh made Rabbit Manure which is direct from My Pet Rabbits. No added or processed chemicals. Fresh Organic Supply. I will Deliver it straight to your door. Sold in bags. Service Fee and 200 Pellets is $10.00.

YES, THIS IS A SEXUAL FETISH

FORMICOPHILIA

The act of being aroused from ants crawling over and nibbling on the skin.

SUNDAY WITH RICO SUAVE

Gerardo’s hot Latin rap single was released in the spring of 1991. Thesong peaked at #7 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and reached #2 on the Hot Rap Singles chart. Currently Gerardo has traded in his bandana and shirtless shirt for an executive position at Interscope Records.

ONE EDIBLE THING YOU’D NEVER GUESS WOULD MAKE YOU HORNY

Licorice: Filled with the essence of Glycyrrhiza Glabra. Get your gal pal to chew on this root and she'll have a lustful libido in no time.

WHO WANTS TO SEE AN HONEST-TO-GOD MALE BLOGGER SHOP FOR FEMALE HYGIENE PRODUCTS FOR NO APPARENT REASON?

WOW! Never knew just how many options you guys (excuse me, gals) have. 

WHO WANTS TO SEE A PORTION OF THE CHEST OF AN HONEST-TO-GOD BLOGGER ON VACATION IN FLORIDA

Sorry, just giving you a wee glimpse of my upper region. I’m gun shy, basically because I’m spotty when it comes to chest hair growth. Enjoy?

WAIT? YOU’RE STILL HERE?

Off to Florida for some needed R&R. I’ll be posting, but not doing much reading. Sorry in advance. :( I added a sad face because I mean it. 

ONE WAY YOU CAN MAKE MONEY THE HARD WAY AT A STATE FAIR

Bird Calling Contests: Participants get 3 minutes to give their best duck, turkey, or chicken call.

IF YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES TO SPARE IN AFTON, WYOMING…

Check out The World's Largest Elkhorn Arch (see below). It’s made from over 3000 slaughtered elks. This man-made monstrosity stands 18 ft tall and stretches over all 4 lanes of Highway 89. FYI…there’s a free water dispenser ONLY FOR ARCH PATRONS. Click here for directions.

CANDID CONVERSATIONS WITH MY EX-COLLEGE-GIRLFRIEND AFTER HAVING SEX (an ongoing series)

I don’t do blog poetry to reveal my feelings. Instead I share intimate, true-ish conversations that have happened in my ilfe.

A bit of setup is needed here: this is with my girlfriend I lost my virginity to. She was a raving bitch. Looking back I also might've been a tad neurotic.

WARNING: Conversation is awkward.

February 22^nd, 1990 (In her bed right after my 3^rd time having sex)

I LOVE MY MOM & MY MOM-INLAW, BUT WHO'D WIN IN A FIGHT?

Tough to say, seeing as neither has had any "golden gloves" experience. However, if some horrific scenario/bet forced them in the ring here's how I'd think they'd match up.


Tale of the tape:


MOM:
Age- let's just say 29
Guilt- very good
Physical ability - strong runner's endurance


MOM-INLAW:
Age- let's just say 29
Guilt- excellent
Physical ability - decent walker


WINNER? Draw


My mom-inlaw might have the edge in guilt, but my mom is extremely fit. And yes, they are both 29?


Happy Mother's Day moms and moms of the blogosphere!!!

IT’S FREE IF YOU SHOVE IT ALL IN YOUR MOUTH

CLINTON STATION DINER: 2 Bank Street, Clinton, NJ (908) 713-0012
Take on the ZEUS BURGER!! If you can finish this 7lb beefy beast in 3 hrs (or 1 ½ hours with friends) you get it for FREE.

LAME DRUG FACT OF THE DAY

WHIP ITS side effects: Inhaling nitrous oxide into your lungs will leave no room for oxygen. Sideeffects may include weakness, lightheadedness and the giggles.

CAR FRESHENER SCENT OF THE DAY

Close your eyes (preferably not while driving) and you’ll swear you’re right smack in the middle of a state fair. This Funky Fresh® Car Freshener features the aroma of a sweet, honey battered corn dog with just a hint of spicy mustard. Measures 6 ¼” long, and includes a handy string for hanging. Compatible with most automobile makes and models.

MINTY, FRESH ERECTIONS

Too embarrassed to ask the doc for the sample pack of hard-on medication? No worries. Just chew some refreshing Sexlet gum. As reported in the NY Daily News, these peppermint-flavored Sexlets are not Viagra and can be bought over the counter without a prescription. They contain such libido-enhancing ingredients as ginseng, Vitamin E and yohimbe bark (increases blood flow to the penis).  A packet costs $11.97 for 15 sticks.  

Oops, almost slipped my mind: Too much of the gum could lead to kidney failure, seizures or death. My bad.

PORN FLUFFERS, A DYING BREED

Unfortunately, the Fluffers are becoming an endangered species on the porn set. In their heyday (70s and 80s) Fluffers were what made porn possible. The behind-the-scenes unsung heroes with two major set responsibilities:

1. Sexually arouse the talent before each scene.
2. Clean-up the talent after the scene is complete.

So why is the profession is dying?

Sexual aids like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra cost way less than any union body.

If you’re lucky enough to find a Fluffer gig here’s what it pays:

On average, around $100-$300 per hour for both straight and gay films.

Requires nudity as well as oral work (off-camera), depending on how much arousal is required.