CHRIST, I JUST HIT AN ANIMAL WITH MY CAR – SHOULD I SERVE IT FOR SUPER BOWL?

Hey, if you’re a super chef you can make anything taste like chicken. Though honestly, we both know that’s not the real issue. You’re worried that the freshly dead roadkill you just acquired might be too fattening for family and fellow fans. Well fear not, I have the answer to your critter calorie question.

REDEEMING STUFF IN FATTENING FOOTBALL FOOD.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Society, doctors and loved ones tell us greasy, fried foods are for %$#%. That being said, you totally have a fattening free pass this weekend as long as your team has made the playoffs. The excuse we’ve engrained in our heads is this is a once in a lifetime thing. I mean, when is our team ever going to make the playoffs again. Next year? Well now you can binge eat with pride and honestly tell your overly concerned wife or girlfriend that you in fact kinda, sorta ate healthy. It’s all on how you spin it.

BUFFALO WINGS:

The BAD news:

• 32.5mgs of cholesterol
• 225mg of sodium

The GOOD news:

• Low in fat (3g per wing)
• .25g of dietary fiber
• 5.5g of protein
• 5% of Vitamin A

LOADED POTATO SKINS (topped w/cheddar, Monterey, bacon & sour cream)

The BAD news:

1 order (3 skins) has…

• 40g of fat
• 120mg of cholesterol
• 2218mg of sodium

The GOOD news:

• 3g of dietary fiber
• 34g of protein
• 68% of calcium
• 22% of iron

BEEF NACHOS

The BAD news:

• 421 calories
• 22.5g of fat
• 45mg of cholesterol
• 295.55mg of sodium

The GOOD news:

• 4.75g of dietary fiber
• 27.05g of protein
• .02 of Riboflavin