by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)
From the guy who brought you “porn surfing” tips for married guys – here’s a texting tip that’ll keep you out of the doghouse…even if your significant other sees the message on your phone.
First off, (IF IT’S TRUE) I don’t condone what Tiger did. If you’re married you need to stick to the rules of the contract – plain and simple. That being said I am a guy. And unfortunately I can’t help to think about that type of situation, and (IF TIGER DID IT) how he could have avoided being in hot water, or the sting of a 9 iron. I think I have an easy 1-step solution.
USE A WEBSITE NAME INSTEAD OF THE SECRET "BOOTY CALL" GIRL’S NAME.
HUH?
Meaning, create a name that makes it SEEM like it came from a…
PORN & PRANK TEXT SERVICE SITE.
DOUBLE HUH?
Here are a couple of name examples:
Sexgurl-text-a-friend.org
Send-a-sexy-message.com
Just use those in place of the woman’s name. So this is how the scenario SHOULD go if your significant other discovers the cphone text:
Text Message from Sexgurl-text-a-friend.org:
“Hey I miss you. Keep thinking of last night. Call me.”
From there it’s pretty easy to play it off as a prank your friends at the office (or the golf course) played on you. Of course, that idea probably has a shelf life of 5 “accidental” discoveries from one number. Not sure how it’ll work out if you have an 8 to 10 stroke lead.
Sources are now saying the two possible clubs Mrs. Woods could have used were either a 9 or a 4 iron. If you act now you can save on both today!
Adams Golf a2 Iron Set (Men's, Right-Handed, Steel) / ONLY $199 at Amazon.
Callaway legendary performance X-22 IRONS / ONLY $699.
MDC Tour Iron Set / Only $179 at Customgolfstop.com.
As read by the immortal Ted Knight aka Judge Smails.
"It's easy to grin,
when your ship comes in
and you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
is the man who can smile,
when his shorts are too tight in the seat."
Uttered by Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield) as he rips off the front of his uber-deluxe golf bag to reveal a stereo. Journey’s Any Way You Want It blasts. Everyone dances. A classic scene with one crazy-amazing bag. Loaded with gadgets that would rival anything out of Q’s lab (James Bond). Now straight from the Bushwick pro shop and Too-Cool-Toys comes The Ultimate CaddyShack Style Golf Bag. Fully loaded with a DVD/TV/stereo, beverage tap and golf club launch. Total cost, $3,895. Ty Webb automatic golfing partner attachment sold separately.
