REMEMBER TO SAVE THOSE TURKEY BONES FOR THAT 7-YEAR VOODOO SPELL

Mommy bloggers! I'm sure your husband can carve a mean turkey. The real question is, are you still satisfied in the sack? If not, here’s how you can turn a handful of Thanksgiving leftovers and some questionable ingredients into 7 years of guaranteed unbridled passion.

THE BOOK OF SHADOWS: ENDURING LOVE SPELL

INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

Step 1. Dry turkey bones and a Yarrow.

Step 2. Place somewhere near your husband’s side of the bed.

Step 3.  Next add a drop of your blood to a chicken heart

Step 4. Bury the heart somewhere near the front entrance to your house.

Step 5. Now when your husband is sleeping gently grab the back of his neck and recite this incantation – "Hands set him on fire, 
with the wildest desire."

Step 6. Repeat “Step 5” at least 10 times.

RESULTS: Husband will have eyes ONLY for you (and no one else) for at least 7 years. Effects may vary depending on placement of ingredients.

YANKEE FANS! DON’T JUST ROOT, PUT A VOODOO CURSE ON THE OTHER TEAM.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Seems like the Yanks are once again on the road to destiny. KNOCK ON WOOD. As a fan all we can do is sit back watch, hope and pray. Or can we do more? Well if you have the The Sports Fan Voodoo Kit you know the answer to that question. For $16.44 (on Amazon) here’s what you get…

• 64 page voodoo curse book (complete with spells for injuries and all kinds of mishaps.)
• authentic voodoo stick pins
• multi-sport themed voodoo doll (includes good and bad luck phrases to use.)

VOODOO FOR HIRE

Don’t shoot the messenger. Or in this case, cause the messenger’s tongue to swell to an abnormal size and develop a nasty case of warts. Though if you are a VIP USPsychic customer you can do just that, and then some. Londa Marks is the most authentic Psychic Available. Says it right on her site. For a nominal fee she actually performs the spell for you. Love, money, revenge…she does it all. Londa will even create custom Spells for added extreme amounts of power. And yes, for all you voodoo-it-yourselfers, she does have spell starter kits.

[Click here for full spell catalog.]