HAPPY 2010 GHETTO BLASTER!

The time was the late 1970s. Before the advent of micro mp3 pod players and even the Walkman there was the boombox. A portable-ish stereo system you could take with you to hear your favorite Sly & the Family Stone hits or rock to Casey’s Top 40. Similar to the tank-sized Cadillacs and Pontiacs of yore, brands like SONY and Emerson battled it out to see who could make the loudest and biggest boomboxes. These mega-music monsters were also staple for breakdancing battles (ala Beat Street) on the asphalt. Of course, by the mid-80s the shoulder holstering stereo days came to a HiFi sounding crash as the rise of the Walkman popularity. Today, the boombox has made a minor comeback thanks to Lasonic. They even gave it an i-makeover.

Lasonic i931 Ghetto Blaster with iPod Dock @ Amazon for 114.98

Features playback of MP3s via an iPod dock, usb port, or SD/MMC card slot. Has an AM/FM radio, remote, mic input, bass and treble EQ controls.

The boombox heyday…

I DON’T WHAT THIS SNACK IS, BUT IT’S GREAT TO EAT WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

I think what’s best about my neighborhood is I have not one, but two 24 hr. mini-markets (bodegas to anyone who lives in the tri-state area) in a 3 block radius from my apartment. Both stores carry you’re basic necessities if you can’t get to the supermarket (Ramen noodles, Diet Pepsi, Funyuns, etc.) They also carry a bunch of Japanese goodies that I’m not quite sure what’s in ‘em but they taste really, really good…especially after a night of drinking. Here are my top two picks.

PUCCA: Think dessert version of goldfish crackers. These cookies have a Nilla-wafer like taste and are crammed with milk chocolate. Pucca make other flavors that I’m not so familiar with. Stick with the chocolate you can’t go wrong. $1 and change gets you a decent size school of these little guys.

EVERY BURGER: Looks like mini-burgers, but in actuality it’s milk chocolate sandwiched between two crispy cookies. $1.99 gets you a pack of 8 burgettes, which I can inhale in 3 seconds.

3 LAME DRINKS YOU CAN MAKE FOR YOUNG NEW YEAR’S EVE GUESTS.

Here are 3 non-alcoholic drink recipes you can mix up for the new year’s evers that just recently learned to countdown from 10.

SHIRLEY TEMPLE:

Ingredients:

• 3 oz lemon-lime soda
• 3 oz ginger ale
• 1 dash grenadine

Preparation:

Add ingredients into glass with crushed or cubed ice. Stir and serve with a maraschino cherry for garnish.

BANANA PUNCH:

Ingredients:

• 6 bananas
• 2 cups frozen lemonade
• 6 3/4 cups water
• 16 oz can of frozen orange juice
• 1/2 cup honey
• 2 quart ginger ale

Preparation:

Blend up sliced bananas and lemonade for 15 seconds. Pour into a container with water, OJ and honey. Stir well. Freeze, then add to punch bowl with ginger ale. Mix and serve.

CRANBERRY FROG:

Ingredients:

• 2 oz Cranberry Juice
• 2 oz Orange Juice

Preparation:

Shake well and serve in a cocktail glass with an orange wedge.

SO THE NEW YEAR’S KISS –TONGUE OR NOT?

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

Ok, someone from FOX News (rhymes with Litt Lume) reported that 34% of Americans view the New Year’s kiss as more important than losing weight. Couldn't track down any other post ball drop percentages. However, I did find the following French kiss factors on some SEXpert's forum reply.

TO TONGUE OR NOT…

Alone with spouse or girlfriend: All bets are off assuming you’ve seen each other naked 1 or a thousand times. Toys? No toys? It’s your choice how you want to introduce yourself to 2010.

At party with spouse or girlfriend: If it’s a mixture of family and friends this SEXpert says you should go with a modified French kiss. Open lipper with a quick insertion and release of tongue. Kiss should last no more than 4 to 5 seconds. That’ll give you enough time for 2 to 3 lip locks. The person did note the kiss level could vary based on the size of the venue and the ability to cloak yourselves from other prying eyes.

Single (heterosexual) person that just met someone: Since it’s safe to say that both of you most likely had at least 1 or 10 cocktails, it’d probably be the gentlemen thing to let the lady be the leader in this decision. Last thing you want is confusion or drunken anger before you even make a 1st legitimate date. Plus, if her muscle-head boyfriend was in the bathroom there’s your other reason.

Single (homosexual) person: The SEXpert here says it’s probably best to just see the intensity of feelings up to that point. If you’re both feeling it, tongue away. Though like above, keep in mind that the seven “whatevers” you just downed might play into it as well. But hey, it’s midnight, there’s confetti and Seacrest is on TV, who gives a %$#%!

FYI…Evolutionary biologists say that French kissing has a real honest to God function: to explore the sexual partner's immune system via the saliva.

DEAR REDDIT, I’M GOING TO HAVE THE BESTEST NEW YEAR’S EVE THANKS TO MY STRAPPY SHOES THAT’LL MAKE ANY FOOT FETISHIST EJACULATE WITH GLEE.

by KC (NWM Staff Writer)

Strappy open toe sandals are the must wear shoes to ring in 2010. So sayeth the Gods of Gabardine. New Year’s Eve is the one “dead of winter" day where you can sport this summery look without it being considered a fashion faux pas.

Go retro chique with a pair of vintage 1980s Phyllis Poland strappy rainbow colored slingback high heel sandals for $65 @ etsy.com

Get your freak on with an open toe faux lizard print sandal with a zipper back, 5 inch heel, strappy front and a 1 1/2 inch upper platform. Only $39.99 at the Electrique Boutique.

Count down to 12 with a little help from 6pm.com and DKNY’s sexy sling-backs with a peep toe for $146.05

HEMP-TASTIC FROM HEAD TO TOE FOR UNDER $160

Stay in style and keep the planet green with an entire outfit made from 100% all-natural Hemp seeds.

Cotton and Hemp Hat available at Amazon for $21.99

Made from a unique blend of hemp and cotton.

Patagonia Shemp men’s Shirt - Hemp-Organic Cotton, Short Sleeve available at sierratradingpost.com for $44.95

Made from Earth-friendly hemp and organic cotton.

Hemp Canvas Drawstring Pants available at orvis.com for $79

Get incredible durability and breathability from pure hemp canvas.

Hemp Socks available at Gaiam for $12.

Made from a durable blend of 51% hemp, 38% organic cotton and 11% spandex.

KLINGON WORD OF THE DAY: Be'joy'

be'joy'

Definition:

(n) ritualized torture by women.

WILL THE NEW HIP-HOP ENDORSED BUBBLY TO RING IN NEW YEAR PLEASE STEP FORWARD?

Since Jay-Z and Cristal parted ways in ’06, there has been no true #1 champagne endorsed by all Hip Hoppers from East to West coast. Sure you’ll always see the classics like Krug, The Dom and Widow Clicquot at corner club tables and posh parties. Though if you’re looking for the hands-down front-runner for hip-hop preferred bubbly, my bling is on Armand de Brignac.

KING OF POP:

This brut cuvee is served in distinctive gold, silver and pink metal-plated bottles that feature a signature pewter “Ace of Spades” emblem. AdB is produced multi-vintage style like the other prestigious pops. Bottles can go for $200-something to upwards of $594.

STREET CREDS:

AdB has been seen in a slew of videos including – Jay-Z’s “Blue Magic” & “Roc Boys,” Beanie Sigel's "All the Above,” and Jamie Foxx’s “Blame it”.

PREVIOUSLY IN THE SUNDAY FUNNIES...

Just in case you haven’t been reading the Sunday comics in the last year or 10.

FOR BETTER OR WORSE by Lynn Johnston

Phil (Elly’s brother) has been staying with the Patterson family. It seems his trumpet playing is starting to get on everyone’s nerves.

FOXTROT by Bill Amend

Mom (Andy) is upset her eldest son Peter has yet to write his “thank you” notes for his Christmas gifts.

APARTMENT 3G by Margaret Shulock

Gabby and Martin have just raised their glasses to toast the new year and to celebrate the rekindling of their relationship.

YADA, YADA, YADA, STILL NO OFFICIAL DRY CLEANER’S CODE.

Seinfeld made light of a dry cleaner’s code. For those who haven't watched every episode like a zillion and 1 times, that's the one where he pretends to be married to Courtney Cox so she can get a dry cleaning discount. The Sein-writers basically inferred that all dry cleaners have set ethics that they live by. Of course, yada, yada, yada, the dry cleaner’s wife winds up wearing Jerry’s mom’s fur coat.

After much e-searching (aside from the Seinfeld episode) I couldn’t find anything about this national cleaner code in the U.S. Though surprisingly there are states that have taken the initiative and set up their own dry cleaning governing bodies like in California and Oregon.

This is the mission bullet points from Oregon's site:

• To elevate the standards of the dry cleaning industry
.
• To promote the interests of Oregon Dry Cleaners Association members. 

• To bring about a spirit of cooperation among all dry cleaners
.
• To extend opportunities to dry cleaners for education along the lines of industrial, scientific, and vocational Activities.

California's site goes a bit further and provides information on what to do if you’ve been wronged by your dry cleaner. Nothing official that'd hold up in a court of law, but still it is a start.

Both sites refer to some Federal Trade Commission on Textile, Wool, Fur, and Apparel Matters. Never did find out what they officially do.

OUTSIDE THE U.S...

I found Australia to be the second most psuedo-responsible when it came to dry cleaning rights. This is their Dry Cleaners Association (DIA) fancy mantra...

As a non-profit organization, the DIA has the central goal of unifying the industry and representing the best interests of Australia's many dry cleaning businesses. Individual dry cleaning firms can seek advice from the DIA, voice concerns or even gain assistance in legal matters relating to their dry cleaning business.

Yada, yada, yada…they protect laundromats too.

HORNY GAMER WITH A PASSION FOR "CALL OF DUTY 4" LOOKING FOR PERFECT MATCH.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

I think I was playing SOCOM II on the PS2 when I first discovered the joy of network gaming. Though I feel like then (as I’m sure now) that the problem is you're thrust right into the game against an unknown competitor. No introductions. Not even sure if it’s a boy or girl. Ok, probably not a girl, but still all you get is a code name and stats. I’m sure PS3 networking has a bit more e-bells and i-whistles. Though call me old fashion, I like the days in the early 00’s where online dating sites were how you got to know someone first. You could scan profiles, oggle pictures and then email or IM a perspective match. All before attempting to do anything in the virtual or real world.

Enter Gamingpassions.com. Your classic dating site with a bit of a twist. All the members are not only looking to meet someone, but also connect over video games. Right now it’s free to join and you can even browse the site before handing over your e-info. It's pretty much modeled like the other match sites. You can seek a male or female with your age and character qualifications (partier, smoker, brunette, etc.) You can also search by game preferences: action, fantasy, PS3er, Mac…whatever. Gamingpassions even has game themed chatrooms and an area to court each other over one of their online games.

Their online promo pretty much sums up the site in a quirky, playful, yet sexual nature.

HEY, WHAT’S BRODY JENNER DOING AT MY NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH?

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

Come New Year’s Eve the stars will certainly all be aligned – in Miami, NYC, LA, Vegas… Party promoters are offering major coin to snag celebrities, reality stars and music acts. These D to A-Listers will do everything from hosting the party, play a couple of songs to just walk 'n' working the room for a couple of minutes. For 2009 some of the star studded standouts include…

Carmen Electra – Making an appearance at the Bryant Park Grill party in NYC. $165 for general admission.

Brody Jenner – Playing host at the uber-exclusive South Beach party at the Gansevoort Hotel. $375 for general admission.

Nicole Richie – Ditching Paris to throw her own bash at the Palazzo Club Lavo, a hot, new club in Las Vegas. $160 for general admission.

Adam Lambert – Will be the idol on display at the Gridlock New Year’s Eve bash in LA. Hosted by Pamela Anderson. Tix are $150 a pop.

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: 3 USED VOMIT BAGS

These ornate vomit bags were handed out before each showing of the now cult classic MARK OF THE DEVIL. An ingenious “word of mouth” tactic considering it was done back in the 70s…before YouTube. All 3 VM's were used to house jewelry (not vomit), but still in mint condition. Starting bid is $3.99. Click here for more info.

2010 LOOKING TO BE AN ODD FIT.

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

From the looks of things, we were all pampered for the first 10 years of the new millennium. That is pertaining to New Years Eve glasses. The “00” came in really handy for ocular purposes. Now it looks like we’re in for 900 years of odd design schemes. Take a look.

Sure companies like OC Shades have solutions, but at what cost? An impaled 1?

FINALLY, JEANS THAT MAKE MY JUNK LOOK BIGGER.

by Greg Colfaz (NWM Staff Writer)

Hey from Cottonwood, Idaho. So after years of seeing a zillion bust enhancing bras in the marketplace (and some up close), I’m happy to report there is something comparable for us guys. Not the Man-zere (sorry Kosmo and Frank). I’m talking about a revolutionary new product that promises to add a bit more W x L to our nether regions. That’s right, CK (creator of the oversexed kids ad campaign) can officially take credit for the first “bulge boosting” jeans. CK’s scientific explanation for this new male marvel is they have designed a “profile enhancing reinforced pieced fly.” The CK Body Jeans will run you $79.50 a pair. A small price to pay for a seemingly big investment.

HOW’S THAT HOVERBOARD COMING?

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Here we are spitting distance from 2010 and STILL no Hoverboard? Actually that’s not quite accurate. Truth is you have the ability to create all kinds of “toys of tomorrow” thanks to futurehorizons.net. It’s a site that lets any mad genius inventor sell their patented plans to the public. Instructions for jetpacks, bionic-suits, laser guns and time machines are all available, now at 50% off. Though be warned, I seriously doubt any these plans are available at a “For Dummies” level of comprehension. Cases in point…

HOVERBOARD DESIGN NOTES ($17.50): An incredible look at future hoverboard developments and how they will work. Info on Building a magnetic containment field capable of containing a column of ionized air up to several PSI.

PSIONIC HELMET PLANS ($145): Construct a mind focusing/tuning helmet to be used for influencing others. Become a echno-shamen. Best used with our various electronic meditation plans. Very powerful! Now includes a crystal powered telepathic enhancer. PLEASE NOTE: The fully assemble ($490) version is sold out.

LASER PISTOL PLANS ($20.00): Build this low power simulated laser gun without expensive ruby rods or bulky high-voltage equipment. Can be built by the average high-school student. Laser is very low power and is intended as a science project to learn concept of lasers. Output is less than a typical laser pointer. We do have higher power lasers listed below for the serious experimenter.

TIME TRAVEL MACHINE ($30): Contains schematics and diagrams of various devices such as the Biotronic Oscillator and Atlantean Generator which can be used for physical and out of body time travel! Also contains information on constructing an artificial grid point. A grid point is necessary for physical time travel to occur. Also contains experiments using the Hyperdimensional Resonator and other easily constructed parts to travel physically in time.

Mtv's JERSEY SHORE MERCHANDISE STILL APLENTY.

Pump your fists high JS Fans! Christmas might be over, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t treat yourself to the best Guido / Guidette gear…for any Situation. Courtesy of Zazzle.com.

Fist Pumpin' Like Champs T-Shirts ($19.10)

Jersey Shore Team Snooki Trucker Hat ($16.85)

GTL Gym, Tan, Laundry Coffee Mug ($16.50)

I Am The Situation Mousepad ($13.35)