THE PLAY-DOH DIET

by Joshen McEwen (NWM Staff Writer)

I took a trip down memory lane today. Cracked open a tub of Play-Doh and began molding my little fingers away. In mid-squish of a florescent green color I suddenly wondered exactly what the hell is Play-Doh. Thanks to the miracle that is Google, I ultimately came up with the answer. Play-Doh is like 90% food product and best of all, non toxic. This led me down a whole new rabbit hole. What would happen if I took up an all Play-Doh diet? It shouldn’t kill me. Over the 50 years Play Doh has been in circulation it’s been a part of many a child’s diet. I want to know if I eat Play-Doh for a year straight will it sustain me? It has starch and salt, so it’d be like living on Top Raman noodles...just like college. As you'll see for yourself, the two differ by only one ingredient...not including the florescent coloring. Freaky.

Ingredients:

Water

Starch-based binder

Retrogradation inhibitor

Salt

Ingredients:

wheat flour

salt

water

kansui

EASY, HEALTHY-ISH RECIPES TO MAKE WHEN YOU’RE WASTED FROM A NIGHT OF BINGE DRINKING.

by Greg Colfaz (Staff Writer)

Hey from Cottonwood, Idaho. Big surprise, my town doesn’t have lots of late night eateries like you city folks. Sure we’ve got the Pizza Factory and Camas diner and couple of other places. Though to be honest, the whole town pretty much goes to sleep at 5 past 2am. So if you’re looking for late, late night, drunk eating options you have to fend for yourself. Drunk cooking. Here are my 2 standby recipes (any wasted moron can make) that are somewhat healthy-ish.

EASY MAC STEW SURPRISE:

What you need:

• Can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew
  
• Pack of Kraft Easy Mac.
  
• Ball Park turkey franks

How to make it:

Nuke all 3. Probably best to do it one at a time. Chuck everything in a bowl. Mix it up. Then nuke it again for 2 minutes. Chances are you didn’t fully cook anything the first time.

Healthy ingredient(s):

Ball Park Turkey Franks (if you only use a half of one – yaaa!)

 

LEAN CUISINE O RAMEN:

What you need:

• 1-2 Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatball meals (for guys 2 is standard)
  
• Margarine / butter type spread
  
• 2 packs of Ramen Noodles
  
• Kraft low fat parmesan cheese

How to make it:

Microwave the Ramen noodles first. Drain, then place to the side. Next, cook up the Swedish meatballs. Throw everything in a big bowl and mix (same as recipe #1). Use your drunk-discretion when it comes to how much parmesan cheese and butter you want to add. I usually go for broke.

Healthy ingredient(s):

Lean Cuisine (before you fatten it up)