GROW YOUR OWN FARM FRESH SPAM!

SPAM! We get tons in our inboxes. We have filters devoted to stopping it. But what if you want to create your own SPAM? You know, to goof on your friends with. Send to a grieving loved one to brighten their day. You could create your own SPAM, but you’d never get it quite right. Thankfully there’s the SPAM-O-MATIC generator!

Just go to the site.

Fill in the blanks.

Press [create], and send off to 4 million of your closest friends.

GOOD FRIDAY? TRY GOOD ASS WHOOPIN’!

[Adult Swim.com] presents Bible Fight. Think Mortal Combat meets the Old and New Testaments. Cast of fighters include: Moses, Mary, Noah, Eve, Satan and of course, Jesus. Each game is a one on one 3 round battle. You win, you move on to fight another character. Along with the usual ass-whooping abilities (kicks, punches, knee to the groin, etc.), characters also have secret weapons. These powers relate to their biblical backstory, like Eve and her snake issues. Onward Christian soldiers to Adultswim.com.

Tip: Like Mortal Combat, the least likely candidates usually have the best powers, and are the most agile. Go with Eve or Mary (see below). Sorry J-man.

A LOT STILL GOING ON AT SHEEP MAGAZINE!

PLEASE tell me you picked up the march/april issue.

 Well if you didn’t, luckily you can read select articles on the site. Some of the gems include…

Something about breeding

Something about record keeping

FYI…Sheep Magazine  subscriptions are now super cheap. 

So you have no excuse not to get one for that special Sheep Lover in your life.

DONE WITH PASSOVER AND NOW READY FOR EASTER MONDAY

I'm all Passovered out right down to the very last shriveled up matzo ball (mom likes to roast 'em).  Now it’s back to reality and waiting anxiously for Easter Monday. 

Never heard of it? Why that’s the day where all the good girl and boy Jews of the world anxiously await the Holy Laboriosus (latin for coworker) to reward them with sweets from their Easter Sunday festivities. 

Sadly (due to a depressed economy and a more health conscious America) pickings have been kinda slim the last handful of years. Though I still remain hopeful – Gladis from accounting is expecting 40 people over her house this year. That means I got a decent shot at snatching up an Easter Basket of some forgetful, ADD kid. I shall pray this week for a Easter Monday Miracle Basket that has one (or both) of these sweet new additions.

GIANT BLEEDING HEART GUMMY CANDY

Loaded with gushing candy blood. Available in wild and sour cherry. Extra blood is included too. Only $6.99 at ThinkGeek.

CHOCOLATE ZOMBIE BUNNY

Not much to say except that it’s a brain sucking undead bunny made of white chocolate. Only $14.99 at ThinkGeek.

PART 2 OF THIS MATZO FILM FEST IS JUST AS CRAPPY, BUT WHAT THE HELL.

Hey, if you saw part 1., you kinda have to finish the series. That’s how I am with all the Madea movies. 

The first movie you might not get if you haven’t been to a deli or have seen When Harry Met Sally.

Second movie is pretty self-explanatory (if you existed in the 90s).

MOVIE #1

MOVIE #2

FYI…the Seder was good, thanks for asking. My mom's chopped liver was primo! 

THE 2011 1ST ANNUAL LAME MATZO FILM FEST (Part 1.)

In celebration of Passover I present to you 2 of 4 lame films I made during my youtube video-making phase back in 2006. All 4 movies feature a character of my own creation – Matzo Merve. Sadly he never achieved the “Family Guy” status that I hoped for. Oh and yes, that’s my voice. Enjoy these first two Kosher for Passover gems?

Entry #1: Seinfeld /Matzo Interview

Entry #2: Howard Stern Interview w/ Matzo

HEY COPYBOY! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR “LATE NIGHT, SHOVE STUFF IN YOUR MOUTH” DIET™

Glad you asked. It’s no secret that I’ve lost 17 lbs. I’m 10 pounds away from achieving my goal of walking around shirtless all summer (like Lucky from the 1994 Diet Coke Commercial.)

The hardest part has been keeping it off. Especially when it’s late night after the wife goes to bed. I used to snack on any type of fattening food while watching Smallville repeats. 

Now I know better. I do my “LATE NIGHT, SHOVE STUFF IN YOUR MOUTH” DIET

I have a sensible breakfast, lunch, & dinner. 

Then after 11:30pm...

I watch Xena and eat Hershey’s Special Dark Pieces.

The naughty outfits that Xena and Gabrielle wear up my pulse rate [counts as cardio]

AND I shove handfuls of Hershey’s Special Dark Pieces in my mouth.

50 pieces are only 180 calories.

That’s it. You can thank me once bikini season arrives!