4 LAME PETITIONS YOU COULD SIGN RIGHT NOW IF YOU’RE BORED AS DIRT.

To me, there are 2 kinds of petitions:

1- Ones that come from the heart and are trying to do some good for planet earth.

2-Ones created by people (with daddy issues) that have way too much free time on their hands.

See if you can guess which ones I chose to highlight. FYI…these are all real and featured at thepetitionsite.com. Oh, and for sh*ts & giggles I included the total of John Hancocks each petition has amassed already. 

Petition #1

We want Dave Chappelle as Host on SNL

Sponsored by: www.AJSADT.com

Petitioner’s Reason: 

We miss Dave and his unique brand of humor. We would like him considered to be a host on Saturday Night Live.

Petition #2

Charmed: The Video Game

Sponsored by: Tyris Austin

Petitioner’s Reason:

We the undersigned, are petitioning for the release of a video game based on the hit TV show Charmed. The platform we would like the game to be released under would preferably be PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox, Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, PC or Mac. 
The release of this game would be a wonderful way to officially end the show and it could possibly spawn sequels due to its success, which we are sure it will achieve. By signing this petition, we also agree that we would either definitely but the game or consider it. Thank you for reading this and hopefully you will consider taking our request on board. and the game would hopefully be realistic with alot of different important, climactic details from season1-8, with all the different main characters, too. 
If we can't entertain fans by bringing the show back we could at least make a game.

Petition #3

Make Justin Bieber Retire!

Sponsored by: Lady Gaga

Petitioner’s Reason:

Justin Bieber must retire due to a horrible voice (he sounds like a 2 year old girl trapped in a 10 year old boys body.) He only sings annoying love songs. So please sign my petition so the world doesn’t go deaf.

Petition #4

Stop Naked Videos on Youtube

Sponsored by: Catie

Petitioner’s Reason:

Youtube needs to stop having people naked on the videos. It is inappropriate. There are a lot perverted people out there.

8 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT MAGIC FINGERS.

#1- 1 quarter buys you 15 minutes on a Magic Fingers® vibrating bed.

#2- John Joseph Houghtaling invented the Magic Fingers® vibrating bed in 1958.

#3- John flew on 20 missions as a gunner in WW II.

#4- Magically, John lived to the ripe old age of 92 (he died on June 17^th, 2009).

#5- The success of the Magic Fingers® bed is largely due to the fact that the engine is not a part of the bed like other models.

#6- To prevent coin looters Mr. Houghtaling invented  the first version of the magnetic strip based debit card as an alternative means of payment.

#7- The Magic Fingers® bed has been featured in a Jimmy Buffet song (This Hotel Room), Kurt Vonnegut’s Salughter House Five, and a Supernatural episode.

#8- In the 1960s approximately 250,000 hotel rooms featured the Magic Fingers® bed. 

FINALLY, THE CW HAS A NEW DIRTY WORD TO PLAY WITH.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

This season, looks like The CW has one more dirty word to work into their teenage angst scripts. The FCC has okayed the use of the word DICK! As far as I can tell, it’s pretty much just DICK. No variations (like DICKHEAD or DICKFACE) have been used on Supernatural, Smallville, Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girls or 90210. Also, the D-word has only been used to imply stupidity of another character, rather than the more common sexual organ reference. Still progress is progress. And personally, I think the FCC should be lauded for adding a bit more gritty realism to Gen Y primetime.

NWM HIDDEN TV GEMS: SUPERNATURAL

[Courtesy of HorrorChik666]

This week the CW clocks in with it’s first (kinda obvious) TV gem on the hit show Supernatural. The episode “Fallen Idol” features guest star Paris Hilton (of Simple Life & Youtube nude video fame). SPOILER ALERT for TIVO and DVRers, essentially Paris plays a psycho, possessed wax figure. The inside joke basically comes in the last scene. Dean (Jensen Ackles) throws down with Paris. As he gets his ass kicked Dean says, “I've never even seen House of Wax”. At which point costar Sam (Jared Padalecki) makes a face. The reason, both Jared and Paris starred in the House of Wax remake together. FYI, the original Vincent Price film, was way better.

Check out the TV gem scene…