A BALD GUY AND A JEW TEAM UP TO CREATE SOMETHING

I’m the Jew (if you haven’t guessed) and the bald guy is Tom, my former boss. He’s really creative. And that’s not just me blowing sunshine up his ass. I don't have to do that anymore. Boss of what you ask? We both worked together at a below-the-line ad agency. What’s a below-the-line advertising agency? That’ll be for another post (WARNING: It will contain instant redeemable coupons).

Anyhow, we decided to combine our talents and create what you see below. Now I’m not going to tell you who did what. That’d be like revealing which kid had a bad case of explosive diarrhea during a swimming lesson back in 1976 (for another post that’ll be slightly better than the coupon one – promise).  

6 QUESTIONS FOR A PHONE SEX OPERATOR

Being in the ad industry you deal mostly with actors of the C&D class. Thespians that are constantly hustling for gigs that unfortunately can’t afford to quit their day jobs. My specialty is radio commercials. So I’ve dealt with a fair number of voiceover talent. Like the TV commercial actors they too have the usual day jobs like waiters, sub teachers, and sales people. Of course their vocal talents offer 'em the ability to do some not so usual gigs like yes, phone sex operators. Thanks to an extra long record session I got to talk to one such talent. Here’s what I got from my mini-Q&A session. 


1- So what does the average phone sex operator make? Depends on the experience and the company you work for. It could be anywhere from $10 – $20 an hour.

2- Are there any special requirements? Landline phone, a voice, and a very, very open mind.

3 - So how do you find a decent phone sex place to work for? Googling companies is how I first did it. Then I'd check 'em out on the Better Business Bureau's site to see if the company is legit. Or just head over to Boulevard Entertainment. One of the top players in the phone sex biz. 

4 - Can't you just go into biz for yourself? I tried and it’s pretty tough. Like any talent in the porn industry you’re up against stiff competition (sorry). I used to scan chat rooms, and forums for potential clients, but I never got enough to make it worth it.


5- Any interesting facts you’ve learned from the biz? I know that the average straight porn call lasts around 8-10 minutes. While the average gay porn conversations usually end up around 20 minutes. No joke. Got a buddy that does it.

6 - Any parting words of wisdom you’d give to aspiring phone sex talent? NEVER GIVE OUT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF PERSONAL INFO. ABOUT YOURSELF. With sites like Facebook and Twitter it’s VERY easy for your clients to stalk you, and cause real problems in your personal life.   

MOST INFLUENTIAL “AS SEEN ON TV” PRODUCTS FOR 2009.

I think it’s safe to say that the Sunggie pretty much ruled the “Only $19.95” competition this year. Wearable blankets. So obvious, yet so genius!

Notwithstanding, here are some other 2009 As On TV innovations that also deserve top honors. Sadly though, much of the success is due to one of the legendary pitchmen we lost this year…Billy Mays.

TOOL BAND-IT ($19.95): How many times has this happened to you? You go to spackle, screw and hammer something on the ceiling and have to juggle all those tools. Well no more with the Tool Band-It. Just wrap the magnetic strip around your arm and simply stick on as many tools you want...roofing nails too.

GIANT SIZED CUPCAKE ($14.95): In this ever shrinking economy it’s nice to know some things are getting the ginormous treatment, like yummy cupcakes. These special molds allow you to make all types of monster size mini-cakes. 25 times bigger!

NECKLINE SLIMMER ($19.95): Bye, bye turkey necks. The Neckline Slimmer tones chin, neck and face muscles without costly surgery. All it takes is just 2 minutes every day and you too will have a Hollywood hottie neck in no time.

BEST LOCAL TV COMMERCIALS FROM THE LAST DECADE.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

In the coming weeks every major media outlet will be coming out with their “best of the decade” lists. Pretty sure local TV commercials won’t find their way in to any of 'em, except here. So without further adieu here are the BEST LOCAL COMMERCIALS OF the last 10-ish years. I say 10-ish, 'cause I'm sure (due to budgetary reasons) most of these commercials have been around for the last 30 years. Yet they're still running so that makes 'em eligible.

MARKETING ACRONYMS US COOL BIZ PEEPS USE.

by Biz-Boy

There is nothing more enjoyable than sitting through a business meeting littered with marketing buzzword acronyms. Marketing professionals (such as myself) like to think we use them to save time, or to streamline operations. Though in actuality, I think they were created so people that don’t have some big degree or a series something license can feel important too. I should know, I’m part of this exclusive-ish club. In case you find yourself in one of these meetings (on a dare) here’s a cheat sheet as to what the %$#% we’re saying.

BOGO – buy one get one (used for coupon offers).

ETA – estimate time of arrival (project urgency subtle hint).

OOP – Out of pocket (no billable job # so the company had to foot bill).

DM – Direct Mail (stuff that’s not email).

B2C/B2B – Business to Consumer / Business to Business (B2C agencies pay better).

WMA – Word of mouth advertising (for clients with no ad budget).

POS / POP – Point of Sale / Point of Purchase (store displays).

OOTBT – Out of the box thinking (used in project briefings to prepare you for a week of all-nighters).

CB – Circle Back (another project timing phrase boss-people use).

ROI – Return on investment (excuse to slash ad budgets).