I PRESENT TO YOU THE ONLY EXAMPLE OF GOOD RACISM.

I am not a raging bigot by any stretch of the imagination. I live in a blue state. I’m a Jewish democrat.  And I like all types of music…including Country. Though recently I did find one blemish on my near perfect “can’t we all just get along” record. I call it RESTAURANT RACISM. Though I gotta be honest here, I really don’t consider this ideology a character flaw. 

SO WHAT IS RESTAURANT RACISM?

The belief that an eatery serving ethnic cuisine can only be considered good if people of that same ethnicity dine in that establishment

REAL WORLD EXAMPLE:

You’re walking down the street and spot a brand new Chinese restaurant. You’re hungry, but are not sure you wanna give it a try. However you do notice that there are a fair number of Asian Americans customers. Upon seeing this you don’t even bother reading the menu or googling the review on your iPhone. If Asian Americans are eating the food it has to be good.

WHY IS THIS GOOD RACISM?

You are making a flattering assumption about an entire race – Asian Americans will only eat good Chinese food.

WHY IS THIS BAD RACISM?

You are making a blind assumption about an entire race of people –  All Asian Americans have the ability to identify really good Chinese food.

So is this theory good, bad, or just taking valuable time away from you playing Snood?

EVER WONDER WHAT JEWS DO ON CHRISTMAS, BUT ARE AFRAID TO ASK?

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

Actually, I’ll rewind it a bit to include X-mas Eve in the mix as well. Believe it or not there are traditional things we do. Not in the sense of Midnight Mass, tinseling up the tree, leaving cookies for ol’ Saint Nick and gift giving. Ours are based more on practicalities, but still traditions just the same.

CHRISTMAS EVE

85% of Jews Do: STOCK-UP

This is probably one of the more popular pastimes. Stocking up for the big holiday shutdown the next day. For us, it’s not last second gifts or a Christmas goose it’s more of the necessities. We’re talking microwave popcorn, candy (of the chocolate nature) and a generous supply of rented movies. Though this traditional activity can greatly depend on the weather (which I’ll cover off in the Christmas day section).

15% of Jews do: POKER

I’ve actually been involved in this yearly tradition for 25 years. 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, 8 Jews were eating junk food, playing cards and totally getting soused. Doesn’t quite rhyme, but you get the picture. FYI…we usually have the stereo blasting and the TBS A Christmas Story marathon on mute while playing.

CHRISTMAS DAY

We start the day, just like the other 364 (except Yom Kippur) – have breakfast. No tree, no scrambling to get ready for guests. Then regardless of what it’s like outside we venture into town and experience DAY OF THE LIVING JEW. Everything is closed except for 2 places. Which both happen to be very much a part of a Jewish Christmas tradition – movie theaters and Chinese food places.

If the weather outside is NOT so frightful it’s a double header at the movies, followed up by a massive Chinese dinner.

If it is a white Christmas, then we partake in the rented movies 'n' snacks (as mentioned above) or catch up on TIVO’d stuff (still with snacks). Then it’s Chinese takeout for all, and to all a good night.

Merry "Jewish" Christmas