1 TOY FROM MY DECADE THAT COULD KICK ANY TOY’S ASS TODAY.

WEEBLE FIGURES (1973): Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. They also hurt like a mutha when your supposed friend (Billy Fesner) chucks one at your head. These plastic playthings of death were probably most famous for their fun "choking hazard" design. Love to know the figure of Weeble-related emergency room cases back in the day. Still, they looked cool in the Weeble-Van (with shag carpeting).

1 THING I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT A NAKED KEN DOLL

Ken's entire body (including the smoothed out scrotum region) is composed of polyvinyl chloride (H2CCHCl).

4 THINGS I’M 72.8% SURE YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT A PAIR OF LUCITE BALLS.

1- Technically the pair was made of acrylic plastic.

2- I personally called ‘em death balls, though the world knew them as Ker-bangers or Click clacks. 

3- This toy of the '80s actually had a patent granted for it in 1949.

4- These were the oh so easy Ker-bangers instructions. 

HEY KIDS OF MOMMY BLOGGERS! FOUND A NEW RUSSIAN ROULETTE TOY JUST FOR YOU.

Yes, I broke the story on balloon roulette back in June of 2010. 

I thought that case file was closed until I found this little shocker on Amazon.

Shocking Roulette Game

The rules are smidge different than the classic Bond shocking casino game scene in Never Say Never Again. 

This game begins with 4 players shoving their fingers in 4 slots. You press the start button and the real fun begins. 

The toy emits beeps, bleeps, screams and then caps off the macabre merriment by randomly shocking on lucky kid. That's pretty much it. The game only costs $17.99 and takes 3 AA batteries. In Amazon’s defense they do say it’s a game for 14 yr olds and up. No word if you can buy a warrantee for it. The game, not the kids. 

Still don't follow the toy concept? This video gem might shed a little light on the subject.

THE HIGH TECH WAY TO ANNOY CO-WORKERS

The USB Rocket Launcher is back in stock! This ultimate machine in worker-warfare is crafted from high-grade plastic and shoots up to 3 nerf-like missiles. Comes complete with navigational target software. THE PART THAT SUCKS is it only works on Windows computers. 

Costs $24.99 @ Thinkgeek.com

VISIT YOUR PARENTS, EARN $25,000!!!

3 TOYS FROM MY DECADE THAT COULD KICK ANY TOY’S ASS TODAY.

by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

We didn’t have no high-tech, virtual Leap-Froggy toys back in the 70s. Everything I owned was forged from molten, hot TONKA steel, and old school, hard plastic. Glad to know you can still find these tough toys on ebay. FYI…the kid in the pic is probably at least 44 now. Right?

6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN (1975): Kenner’s ultimate tribute to the smash action series starring Lee Majors. This figure totally towers over any of those wimpy action minis of today. Stevie even sports a REAL, working telescopic eye. Plus has the lever in the back to activate his karate chopping bionic arm. Also included in the deluxe set are a rocket, backpack radio, helmet and funky, signature, red jumpsuit. ebay bidding starts at $39.99.

TONKA METAL TRUCK (1970): The big, yellow beast! This all-metal dump truck features bulletproof plastic wheels and an "easy to swallow" crane pulley. Definitely the toy voted to most likely take out an eye or a face. ebay bidding starts at $30.

WEEBLE FIGURES (1973): Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. They also hurt like a mutha when your supposed friend (Billy Fesner) chucks one at your head. These plastic playthings of death were probably most famous for their fun "choking hazard" design. Love to know the figure of Weeble-related emergency room cases back in the day. Still, they looked cool in the Weeble-Van. ebay bidding starts at $7.99.

AND THE MOST VALUABLE STAR WARS ACTION FIGURE IS…

“Telescoping Lightsaber” Darth Vader (1978). Looks and acts like all the other old Kenner® toy Vaders you’ve seen, with one small exception. The lightsaber. The first run of this legendary toy had what’s called a telescoping saber. It was similar to the later versions in that it would rise out of the action figure's arm. However, the only difference was a thinner piece that would rise even further from the saber itself. Unfortunately, the design was discontinued because of its tendency to easily break.  It’s been reported that there are only 100 or so of these prized possessions out there. The latest asking price: $6000.