Really annoying people that have really good jobs always say,
“The key to success is talent and a little bit of luck.”
These are the same people that were born into billions or have dads with last names like Trump, or Walton. Sorry, downed a double dose of the bitter pills after perusing my 2011 financial statements. Seems like in this economy you need to really up that luck factor. Even with respectable MBAs and law degrees, I have friends who are still having trouble finding career success.
Of course if you’re Alison Yates (Wicca extraordinaire), all you need is the right magic tea potion to make all of your financial dreams come true. And here is the spell recipe. Free of charge.
Oh, just a little BTW, before you start. For the Money Tea (that’s what she calls it) to take full effect, it must be made during the Waxing Moon phase. That’s supposedly when it looks like the moon is growing bigger in the sky.
Ok, now that we got all that celestial stuff cleared away, here’s what you need to do – word for word.
Place these dry herbs in a bowl:
3 teaspoons Mint
3 teaspoons Sage
2 teaspoons Rosemary
1 teaspoons Thyme
Now mix them all together while thinking of wealthy, successful thoughts and recite this incantation 3 times …
“Mix and combine to bring to me. Abundant wealth for all to see!”
This blend should last you for 9 days. Or when the oxen cries to the one eye dove (didn’t really get that part).
Each day you must pour a half a cup of boiling water over 1 teaspoon of the mixture. Steep the tea for 5 minutes, and add honey if you like. Then take a sip and recite this second incantation 3 times…
“As I sip this money brew. Bring money and wealth to accrue. Harming none and helping me. So mote it be!”
Repeat for the next 8 days, and drop me a line (and accept my resume) if it actually works.