Really annoying people that have really good jobs always say,
“The key to success is talent and a little bit of luck.”
These are the same people that were born into billions or have dads with last names like Trump, or Walton. Sorry, downed a double dose of the bitter pills after perusing my 2011 financial statements. Seems like in this economy you need to really up that luck factor. Even with respectable MBAs and law degrees, I have friends who are still having trouble finding career success.
Of course if you’re Alison Yates (Wicca extraordinaire), all you need is the right magic tea potion to make all of your financial dreams come true. And here is the spell recipe. Free of charge.
Oh, just a little BTW, before you start. For the Money Tea (that’s what she calls it) to take full effect, it must be made during the Waxing Moon phase. That’s supposedly when it looks like the moon is growing bigger in the sky.
Ok, now that we got all that celestial stuff cleared away, here’s what you need to do – word for word.
Place these dry herbs in a bowl:
3 teaspoons Mint
3 teaspoons Sage
2 teaspoons Rosemary
1 teaspoons Thyme
Now mix them all together while thinking of wealthy, successful thoughts and recite this incantation 3 times …
“Mix and combine to bring to me. Abundant wealth for all to see!”
This blend should last you for 9 days. Or when the oxen cries to the one eye dove (didn’t really get that part).
Each day you must pour a half a cup of boiling water over 1 teaspoon of the mixture. Steep the tea for 5 minutes, and add honey if you like. Then take a sip and recite this second incantation 3 times…
“As I sip this money brew. Bring money and wealth to accrue. Harming none and helping me. So mote it be!”
Repeat for the next 8 days, and drop me a line (and accept my resume) if it actually works.
That tea sounds lovely. I would have to try sometime.
ReplyDeleteJust my luck. Being a Christian means I can't partake in witchcraft. Too bad, might taste good.
ReplyDeleteoh goodness for a second there I thought it was some other sort of plant. LOL!
ReplyDeleteAt least it wouldn't smell bad while you were trying.
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm actually growing all those herbs already. Might as well give this a shot!
ReplyDeleteIt might relax you a bit but I doubt its going to put any green in your pocket
ReplyDeleteNeeds more thyme. Hah, I crack myself up.
ReplyDeleteThere's something for you at my place.
ReplyDeletethis might actually work...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the sage advice...wow, I had no idea I could be this punny so early in the day.
ReplyDeleteOhh, i see, that's what i was doing wrong, everything makes sense now...
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that saying about rich people: "he was born on third base and thought he hit a triple." I first heard it said of George W. Bush.
ReplyDeleteI would rather be poor than have anything with Sage in it. Blech. You'll be have to let me know how it works when you are a bazillionare.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to play Witchy Poo.
ReplyDeleteI find it would be easier to just buy lottery tickets.
ReplyDeleteEh. Tea. But I guess it doesn't hurt to try, right?
ReplyDeleteWhat happens if you just rub it on a chicken for seasoning?
ReplyDeleteOr...you can just work really hard and create your own opportunities. (I hate tea.)
ReplyDeleteBeing an atheist means, that I use my brain and it says, that this is pretty silly.
ReplyDeleteYou need talent and a little bit of Luck. And by that I mean my uncle Lucky, who got me this job.
ReplyDeletei may have to try that
ReplyDeletenice post :P
ReplyDeleteHa. Great post, but is this concoction serious, is it edible?
ReplyDeleteAnd if after 9 days, no luck, add 14 teaspoons of arsenic and a valium chaser.
ReplyDeleteWhy does everything have to be tea or coffee like? I hate both. Boo.
ReplyDelete