FREE MILLION DOLLAR IDEA

So why am I giving it to you all? I don’t have the cojones (testicles) to go through with it. No, it’s nothing that illegal. In fact I’ve already seen some people do something like I’m proposing…my idea is just better. Before I tell you swear you’ll cut me in for at least 40%. Fine, I’ll go to 25%, but no lower. Now that we got that formality out of the way here it is…

THE BP TOILET TARGET

For those not hip to “toilet target” technology I’ll explain. Essentially it’s a vinyl (water proof) sticker that adheres to the bottom of toilets or urinals (see photo below for reference).

WHAT’S THAT GOT TO WITH BP?

Here’s what I’m proposing. Just go to zazzle.com and upload a BP logo with this tagline – BP took a dump on our environment, now you can return the favor. From there, Zazzle lets you place design on all types of items on their site – tshirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads, and yes, toilet targets. So just choose the TT and you’re ready to go. From what I read (since you have no operation costs) Zazzle gives you 10% of each sale.

SO WHY AM I NOT REALLY DOING IT?

I’m a fraidy-cat when it comes to the possibility of a law suit. I mean if I got thrown in jail for this I’d have real problems. I’m really cute (see previous post for proof). Oh, and if anyone does decide to do this, I’d donate a portion of your million dollar profits to some sort of gulf clean-up charity (to avoid negative press). Just remember I get 25% as well. Good luck.

SORRY, MY MIND TENDS TO WANDER DURING ORAL SEX.

I really don’t mean it to. Sometimes it just happens. Random sh*t just pops in my head. Some thoughts are related to the sexual task at hand…other topics, not so much. Does that make me a crummy husband? Wait! Don’t answer that mommy bloggers. Just so you know, I really am “there for my wife” if you know what I mean. It’s just that sometimes it takes a little more time than expected to finish things up. So like the post title states – my mind tends to wander. On a positive note I usually think of big, worldly stuff. Like the last time I was doing “you know” I thought about this BP fiasco. Specifically I was concerned about the poor gulf fisherman, and how they are all basically out of jobs now. Horrible. To be honest, I actually started to think of a possible innovative solution, but my wife had finished so it popped right out of my head. Oh well, there’s always next week. Feels good to get that off my chest. Been buggin' me for quite some time.

3 MOVIES YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO SEE SO I’LL JUST SPOIL THE ENDINGS FOR YOU.

Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995): A tanker explodes and engulfs the whole cove in flames. Willy manages to free Jesse and get him safely to Randolf’s boat. Willy is then reunited with Luna, Little Spot, and their mother.

Meet Joe Black (1998): Joe (aka Death) whisks Bill away to the afterlife. Joe also gives the soul back to the body he borrowed. Soon after “non-death/regular” Joe meets Susan. The two fall madly in love.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006): After much deliberation Sean finally agrees to race D.K. The loser has to leave town for good. Of course Sean wins, and gets the girl (Neela). The last scene is Sean racing a new driver – Mr. Vin Diesel.