“FINGER-RIFFIC” FRIDAY

I was going to mention which jar of goodness I love to finger. However I felt the need to interrupt my mindless post for a peek into my uber-pathetic-ness.

I can say I’ve reached a new low. As a card carrying man I probably shouldn’t admit to this, but what the hell. In the last two months I have heard the following phrase uttered at least 4 maybe 5 times from my DVR…

“Previously on Audrina!”

The show is your basic VH1 / Mtv hellspawn (aka reality show)! 

It centers around the post-Hills, post-Dancing with the Stars hottie Audrina Patridge ... 

... and her wacky family. 

Hey, my wife likes the show not me. It’s stupid. So stupid. Ugh really stupid. Especially the first 3 episodes. The 4^th wasn’t so bad. And I kinda like the 5^th one. And yes, I’m so psyched for episode 6!!!  What’s going to happen between Aurdina and Donald Trump? Will Casey fight with her mom?!!! I truly can’t wait for the next ...

I’m pathetic! My manhood should be revoked. Oh, and to make matters worse I caught myself singing the theme song on my way to work. Bye-bye testicles.

I dare you not to snap your fingers and stomp your feet!!!!

POP vs. SODA: A NATION STILL DIVIDED

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

I got my first taste of this cola controversy back in the fall of ’89. I had left the comforts of my Lon Giland home and entered the college phase of my life at SUNY Fredonia (way upstate in NY). Upon entering the cafeteria the first time is when it happened. I mistakenly asked one of the lunch-ladies where I could find the soda machine. After about 10 seconds of awkward silence, I added, “Um, the Coke machine?” At which point she laughed and said, “Oh, you mean pop. Just make a left by the salad bar dear.”

For the next 4 years at school I continued to receive “pop” jabs, but was never broken. Even when I dated a girl from Rochester, I still firmly held to my soda beliefs. Not saying that was our demise, but I’m sure it was just another sign we were from two different worlds.

If you too find yourself transplanted to another region you could go my stubborn-ass route or take a “when in Rome” attitude (no judgments either way). If it is the latter here’s a handy cheat sheet that breaks "pop vs. soda" down by state. PLEASE NOTE: Because opinions might further differ within the state I also included a detailed "Soda vs. Pop" regional map.

Courtesy of popvssoda.com & beatsdesign.uk.

1. Alabama – SODA
2. Alaska – SODA
3. Arizona – SODA
4. Arkansas – SODA
5. California – SODA
6. Colorado – POP
7. Connecticut – SODA
8. Delaware – SODA
9. Florida – SODA
10. Georgia – SODA
11. Hawaii – SODA
12. Idaho – POP
13. Illinois – POP
14. Indiana ­– POP
15. Iowa – POP
16. Kansas ­– POP
17. Kentucky – POP
18. Louisiana – SODA
19. Maine – SODA
20. Maryland – SODA
21. Massachusetts – SODA
22. Michigan – POP
23. Minnesota – POP
24. Mississippi – SODA
25. Missouri ­– SODA
26. Montana – POP
27. Nebraska – POP
28. Nevada – SODA
29. New Hampshire – SODA
30. New Jersey – SODA
31. New Mexico – SODA
32. New York – SODA
33. North Carolina – SODA
34. North Dakota – POP
35. Ohio – POP
36. Oklahoma – POP
37. Oregon – POP
38. Pennsylvania – POP
39. Rhode Island – SODA
40. South Carolina – SODA
41. South Dakota – POP
42. Tennessee – SODA
43. Texas – SODA
44. Utah – POP
45. Vermont – SODA
46. Virginia – SODA
47. Washington – POP
48. West Virginia – POP
49. Wisconsin – SODA
50. Wyoming ­– POP

STILL TOURING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

WINGER (late 80s hair metal):

Famous for: She’s Only 17, Miles Away

Date: Monday (March 22nd)

Venue: Academy (Frogmore St. Bristol, UK)

EDDIE MONEY (80s Pop):

Famous for: Take Me Home Tonight, Walk On Water

Date: Saturday (January 16^th)

Venue: The Beach Club Siesta Key (Sarasota, Fl)

GALLAGHER (70s/80s comedian)

Famous for: Sledge-O-Matic (Smashing watermelons)

Date: Saturday (January 22^nd)

Venue: Rogue Theater (Grants Pass, Oregon)

BELL BIV DEVOE (early 90s hip hop)

Famous for: Poison

Date: Friday (February 19^th)

Venue: Atlanta Civic Center (Atlanta, GA)

BEST SONGS TO LISTEN TO IF YOU BROKE UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN 1990.

by Not All There (NWM Staff Writer)

My apologies to the ladies for only offering songs from a male perspective.

DON’T TREAT ME BAD (Firehouse) 

GET THE FUNK OUT (Extreme)

****THE PERFECT ”JUST ON A BREAK” SONG****

LOVE SONG (Tesla)

****BONUS BOYFRIEND BREAKUP SONG****

THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY (Paula Abdul)

 

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: 2 SODA-DUDS FOR THE PRICE OF 1!

Now you can own not one, but two pieces of soft drink marketing failure – New Coke (1985), the concept of changing a century old successful formula, just ‘cause. And Crystal Pepsi (1992), the idea that if soda were clear, people will forget there’s sugar in it. Bidding for these canned cans start at $5 bucks.

[Click here for listing.]