IN 2011"THE MAN" STILL THINKS YOUR BUTT DUMB…AND I HAVE PROOF.

The clock barely started ticking off the New Year and already I discovered evidence that “the man” still thinks we are nothing more than chimps paying money to push “happy brand” buttons.

THE WHEN:

It’s New Year’s day, 1:06am. I’m at a hotel. I’m also still 40. So let’s just say the night already ended early-ish for me. I’m in my PJs (thong and body stocking) trying to manage walking a straight line to the hotel soda machine on my floor.

THE WHAT:

As I pop in my quarters and wait (in Pavlovian fashion) to receive my caffeine-laced nourishment, this lovely soda sign catches my blurred vision.

SO HERE'S MY QUESTION TO ALL YOU CHIMPS OUT THERE:

Which do you think is more demeaning? The lovely "duh" diagram? Or the adding of “death” to the warning?

BEFORE YOU ANSWER...THE MAN MIGHT BE RIGHT:

For shits and giggles, I surfed the net to find out if there was actually a need for that sign to  be there. Sadly the answer is “YES.” Click here to read about a 1998 tragedy that could’ve have been averted if the above vital communication had been affixed to the soda machine (“pop” to all my friends that reside in the red states).

POP vs. SODA: A NATION STILL DIVIDED

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

I got my first taste of this cola controversy back in the fall of ’89. I had left the comforts of my Lon Giland home and entered the college phase of my life at SUNY Fredonia (way upstate in NY). Upon entering the cafeteria the first time is when it happened. I mistakenly asked one of the lunch-ladies where I could find the soda machine. After about 10 seconds of awkward silence, I added, “Um, the Coke machine?” At which point she laughed and said, “Oh, you mean pop. Just make a left by the salad bar dear.”

For the next 4 years at school I continued to receive “pop” jabs, but was never broken. Even when I dated a girl from Rochester, I still firmly held to my soda beliefs. Not saying that was our demise, but I’m sure it was just another sign we were from two different worlds.

If you too find yourself transplanted to another region you could go my stubborn-ass route or take a “when in Rome” attitude (no judgments either way). If it is the latter here’s a handy cheat sheet that breaks "pop vs. soda" down by state. PLEASE NOTE: Because opinions might further differ within the state I also included a detailed "Soda vs. Pop" regional map.

Courtesy of popvssoda.com & beatsdesign.uk.

1. Alabama – SODA
2. Alaska – SODA
3. Arizona – SODA
4. Arkansas – SODA
5. California – SODA
6. Colorado – POP
7. Connecticut – SODA
8. Delaware – SODA
9. Florida – SODA
10. Georgia – SODA
11. Hawaii – SODA
12. Idaho – POP
13. Illinois – POP
14. Indiana ­– POP
15. Iowa – POP
16. Kansas ­– POP
17. Kentucky – POP
18. Louisiana – SODA
19. Maine – SODA
20. Maryland – SODA
21. Massachusetts – SODA
22. Michigan – POP
23. Minnesota – POP
24. Mississippi – SODA
25. Missouri ­– SODA
26. Montana – POP
27. Nebraska – POP
28. Nevada – SODA
29. New Hampshire – SODA
30. New Jersey – SODA
31. New Mexico – SODA
32. New York – SODA
33. North Carolina – SODA
34. North Dakota – POP
35. Ohio – POP
36. Oklahoma – POP
37. Oregon – POP
38. Pennsylvania – POP
39. Rhode Island – SODA
40. South Carolina – SODA
41. South Dakota – POP
42. Tennessee – SODA
43. Texas – SODA
44. Utah – POP
45. Vermont – SODA
46. Virginia – SODA
47. Washington – POP
48. West Virginia – POP
49. Wisconsin – SODA
50. Wyoming ­– POP

GUESS THE CANNED BEVERAGE.

Ingredients:
Carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium, benzoate, natural flavors, caffeine.









Answer: Diet Coke



-- Post From My iPhone

CEL-RAY SODA…MYSTERY SOLVED.

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

Around the corner from me exists a deli slash mini-market. This type of store-theme is usually pretty common in big city neighborhoods.  It's also pretty common (in these stores) to find products that are decades behind the times. Ones you thought were discontinued. Yet oddly enough all the expiration dates are current. One such retro-brand that has always peaked my curiosity (in this deli) has been the Dr. Brown's line of sodas – specifically the Cel-Ray flavor. Soda with the refreshing taste of celery? A quick Wiki revealed that to be true. In fact celery soda has been around since 1868. Originally it was marketed as some sort of cure-all tonic, but the FDA objected (couldn’t imagine why). Today, this Doc Brown brand is usually found in Kosher delis and has been referred to as Jewish Champagne. Three days ago I broke down and ordered one with my ham and swiss with mayo. To all Jews internally groaning, just imagine I had corned beef, tongue and mustard. Anyway, back to the tasting. One generous swig was all I needed to know that I was not going to be a lifelong fan of this beverage. Kinda reminded me of a watered down, peppery ginger ale. It also had a softer fizz than a Pepsi or a Coke. All in all a major meh experience. Next week I’ll give Jeff’s Strawberry Egg Cream soda a try and let you know. 

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: 2 SODA-DUDS FOR THE PRICE OF 1!

Now you can own not one, but two pieces of soft drink marketing failure – New Coke (1985), the concept of changing a century old successful formula, just ‘cause. And Crystal Pepsi (1992), the idea that if soda were clear, people will forget there’s sugar in it. Bidding for these canned cans start at $5 bucks.

[Click here for listing.]