The clock barely started ticking off the New Year and already I discovered evidence that “the man” still thinks we are nothing more than chimps paying money to push “happy brand” buttons.
THE WHEN:
It’s New Year’s day, 1:06am. I’m at a hotel. I’m also still 40. So let’s just say the night already ended early-ish for me. I’m in my PJs (thong and body stocking) trying to manage walking a straight line to the hotel soda machine on my floor.
THE WHAT:
As I pop in my quarters and wait (in Pavlovian fashion) to receive my caffeine-laced nourishment, this lovely soda sign catches my blurred vision.
SO HERE'S MY QUESTION TO ALL YOU CHIMPS OUT THERE:
Which do you think is more demeaning? The lovely "duh" diagram? Or the adding of “death” to the warning?
BEFORE YOU ANSWER...THE MAN MIGHT BE RIGHT:
For shits and giggles, I surfed the net to find out if there was actually a need for that sign to be there. Sadly the answer is “YES.” Click here to read about a 1998 tragedy that could’ve have been averted if the above vital communication had been affixed to the soda machine (“pop” to all my friends that reside in the red states).
Did you notice that that the little stick guy under the machine was sporting a "thong and body stocking?"
ReplyDeleteThong and body stocking...now that's a look! Work it! Whoot whoot! Regarding the message on the vending machine, whenever you see a warning placed on something it's because someone got their pants (err...thong) sued off them.
ReplyDeleteit really doesn't need to be there. people just need to have more common sense. we may as well start labelling everything as a hazard. toasters, fridges, etc. we don't need it, or perhaps we do just for the small majority of people that don't think twice.
ReplyDeletesoda machines are dangerous...
ReplyDeletewhere is warning to not stick your arm up to the elbow to try to get a soda without paying?
i hate the man!
Happy New Year!
Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book
It is always amazing the amount of signs/warnings we have today because some lawyer has filed and won a law suit over someone's stupidity.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you blue staters, we are surrounded by warning labels, regulations, and general dumassness every time we turn around. Goddamn democrats.
ReplyDeleteThese are the same people who needed "contents are hot" printed on cups of coffee.
ReplyDeleteThe more important sticker is the one that shows the dude with his arm up the machine. If you line the stickers up together, it's basically demonstrating you should not have sex with the Coke machine or let the Coke machine have sex with you.
ReplyDeleteThey can call this autoerotic asphyxia.
ReplyDeleteCopy Boy...It's still a pretty big assumption on the part of 'the man' because most likely anyone dumb enough to shake and tip a vending machine probably doesn't know how to read anyway. Picture is too vague for a moron. This is too funny! Love it. BB
ReplyDeletebouncinbarbs.blogspot.com
what is scary is that someone had to have done this to warrant the warning and even more scary is that someone will still do it gain..
ReplyDeleteyes sadly those stupid signs are all there for a reason....we humans are full of dumbness!
ReplyDeleteTell me more about the body stalkings!
I'm so glad I am not the only one who calls it soda!
ReplyDeleteYes the duh sign must go on...kind of like the don't use a hair dryer while in the bath tub...really?
Yes, the hair dryer warning label came to mind. So did the Prep. H 'do not ingest' warning.
ReplyDeletetipping or rocking may cause serious injuries and death.. hahaha
ReplyDeleteHey at least the warning decal kept you from thinking about rocking that machine when your twinkie got stuck!
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ReplyDeleteLol I use to remember when I was in high school...kids use to shake the vending machine all the time. I never heard of anyone dieing in my school and It's good nothing happened bad! Later that year they made an anti-theft barrier maybe because of this reason
ReplyDeleteOMG... FORTY??? ;)
ReplyDeletedeath is the only thing why i not do this
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, you're ancient!
ReplyDeletej/k lol.
...That means just kidding :P
f vending machines, i hate them
ReplyDeleteI've always found that sign quite humorous myself.
ReplyDeletehahaha! americans are so dumb!
ReplyDeleteoh wait. 'quebec' is in canada, isn't it?
i retract my statement.
oh my goodness, they have to put a warning label on everything these days don't they!?
ReplyDelete"Road May Be Wet During Rain" comes to mind. LOL.
ReplyDeleteGeez Are some people that dumb??? I mean I gues they must be!
ReplyDeleteEvolution should have handled this problem long ago.
ReplyDeleteI noticed the other day my laundry detergent label warned not to reuse the container as a beverage container....who was making Kool-Aid in their old laundry detergent jug to need THAT warning? lol
ReplyDeleteNot everyone maybe a chimp but you'd be surprised how...simple...people can be.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/