IN 2011"THE MAN" STILL THINKS YOUR BUTT DUMB…AND I HAVE PROOF.

The clock barely started ticking off the New Year and already I discovered evidence that “the man” still thinks we are nothing more than chimps paying money to push “happy brand” buttons.

THE WHEN:

It’s New Year’s day, 1:06am. I’m at a hotel. I’m also still 40. So let’s just say the night already ended early-ish for me. I’m in my PJs (thong and body stocking) trying to manage walking a straight line to the hotel soda machine on my floor.

THE WHAT:

As I pop in my quarters and wait (in Pavlovian fashion) to receive my caffeine-laced nourishment, this lovely soda sign catches my blurred vision.

SO HERE'S MY QUESTION TO ALL YOU CHIMPS OUT THERE:

Which do you think is more demeaning? The lovely "duh" diagram? Or the adding of “death” to the warning?

BEFORE YOU ANSWER...THE MAN MIGHT BE RIGHT:

For shits and giggles, I surfed the net to find out if there was actually a need for that sign to  be there. Sadly the answer is “YES.” Click here to read about a 1998 tragedy that could’ve have been averted if the above vital communication had been affixed to the soda machine (“pop” to all my friends that reside in the red states).