Friday, April 6, 2012

1 OF 30 REASONS WHY MATZO SUCKS!


I blink my eyes and Passover once again is about to creep up on me and throw that proverbial plastic bag over my face. Then the holiday will hold the bag tight ‘til my struggling body goes limp.
Actually, I’m making more of it than it is. To all you non-Jews out there that have never been to a Passover Seder – think Thanksgiving combined with rules and reading out loud. And of course zero bread or anything with yeast (stuffing, beer, etc.) Basically because some Jewish, Moses roadie didn’t know how to budget time very well, we’re stuck chompin’ on Matzo for 7 %$#% days. Ugh.
Here’s the first of 30 reasons of why I feel Matzo sucks.
#1: Matzo immediately shatters into crumbs when you spread anything on it, especially butter.

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17 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you have to eat all of this matzo man, best of luck with it.

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  2. It probably doesn't hold up well under peanut butter either.

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  3. I thought matzo wasn't that bad actually. I'm learning new things.

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  4. I am a conservative jew and I love Matzah!

    If you don't mind me playing devils advocate, the Jews had to eat matzah when leaving Egypt because they didn't have time to prepare to leave because it was right after the 10th plague.

    I personally love Pesach because it's one of my favorites and I love the story. Try going through a 5 hour Sader ;)

    Have a happy Pesach!
    Chag Kasher V'Sameach :D

    -Yadin

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  5. You can check my passover post at

    http://yadinbromberg.blogspot.com/2012/04/z-challege-friends-with-benefits.html

    Thanks :)

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  6. I'll be sure not to get any!

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  7. Matzoh.... the anemic Saltine of crackers!

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  8. and no salt either. flat, dry, a poor substitute for bread. Still....it's better than nothing at all.
    Rosemary

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  9. Sounds like I'd try freezing it to give it extra heft for the butter.

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  10. We need to invent a beer Jews can drink during Passover. We'd be rich, and we'd be heroes.

    Love,
    Janie

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  11. Do you ever lose weight during Passover, or do you make up for what you can't have, with what you can?

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  12. Still, I always wanted to try it.

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  13. it seems like quite a feat though :)

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  14. Meh, matzo has it's place not only for historical value but as a pseudo-cracker.

    Lol pseudo-crackers. Lol racism.

    Anyway, sure matzo sucks...but slap some hummus on it and there ya go!

    ...wait, did I just commit some ginormo goyem heresy with that suggestion? PFFFFT, hah.

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  15. They are a pretty poor excuse for a cracker! Sometimes, it's not a good thing to be one of the chosen...

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