ASK DR. FIST BUMP.

[originally answered on the now defunct dr.fistbumpbasics.com]

Question:

As a pre-school teacher it’s hard for me to take off for a sick day. Which is why during flu season I’m very cautious around people. So much so that I’ve taken to fist bumping instead of shaking hands (so I don’t catch their germs). Is this considered impolite?

Thanks,

Sheera233

Answer:

Hey Sheera233,

Recently I read that Steve Jobs has joined the ranks of celebs that fist bump fans. In Steve’s case, he’s worried about catching any sort of virus because it might cause complications with his recent liver transplant. I guess what I’m saying is your reasoning is justified. However, since you don’t have the news media explaining every action in your life, it’d be best to give the fist bumpee a heads up first.

Regards,

Dr. FB

If interested, please now send first bump questions to Dr. Fist Bump C/O jcohen7523@gmail.com

BLOGS WITH 0 – 200 VIEWERS UNITE.

by Jesse Cohen (NWM Staff Writer)

I sucked at meeting women in the bars. Actually, I take that back. To suck would have implied that I attempted to have game, which I didn’t. My assessment of the situation first had me look within. Being 5’ 4 ¾” with over active sweat glands might be considered a crutch to some. However, I don’t think I can take total blame for it. The target group at the bars were all off for me. I’m there’s no way I’d ever want to end up with a 5’9” glamzon. I’d need a footstool just to get to first base (and part of second) with her. However, once I traded in the brick and mortar singles arena for the virtual dating world I fared much better. Online matching worked for me for 2 reasons…

1. Everyone on the dating sites are mostly looking for the same thing (with a few “leave you in an iced bath with one less kidney” exceptions).
2. You can search people that are more on your level.

And that (in a VERY round about way) is why we started the bloghookups forum. We wanted to make it easy for blogs to hookup with other similar blogs. No offense, but speaking to monster blogs like Mashable and Huffington to share links and content are probably going to get you nowhere. However, that being said there are enough of our types of blogs around (180 million plus to be exact) that it would prove beneficial to all of us if we somehow joined forces. Shared content and links at some centralized location. I’ve scoured the internet for a place like that, but found nothing. Zippo.

So if you think it might be up your alley check bloghookups out. We set the forum up to be really simple at first. A thread to introduce yourself. A thread for helpful blog resources. And a thread for Q&A. If you have any other suggestions let us know at jcohen7523@gmail.com. Or if you know a fellow blogger that’d be interested pass it on.

Click here to check it out.

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM A LARGE PENIS SUPPORT GROUP.

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VALUABLE INTERNET FORUM ADVICE: USE KRAZY GLUE AND MAXI PADS.

by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

I usually take to the forums when I’m looking for honest opinions about movies, games and porn. When it comes to medical advice, it’s probably best to be more cautious. Case in point, my wife just got a deep cut while washing a food processor blade. We were wondering how to stop it from bleeding and this is the advice (word for word) from internet forums we found…

Crazy as it sounds, Krazy glue works great, hockey players use it and they are back on the ice for the next shift.

Loosely bandage the area, just to help keep debris out, avoid cotton wool if you can. it will stick to the area. Non stick pads if you have them. Maxi pads or diapers if you dont- those are clean and safe to use as bandages and wont stick.

All you have to do is put a pinch of cayenne pepper in your cut or whatever is bleeding and it will stop almost immediately

I have the ultimate remedy in stopping bleeding.. My neighbor is from Guatemala. She's a very elderly lady. Her husband is a bleeder. It doesn’t take much to get him bleeding. She cuts a piece of his hair, burns it with a lighter, then places it on the bleeding area holding it with her fingers. Bleeding stops almost immediately.