I HAVE NO EXPLANATION AS TO WHA...YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST CLICK ON THE LINK YOURSELF.

Seriously, the site isn’t dirty by any stretch of the imagination. I just have no clue what the site does. Is it supposed to turn women on? Sell me something? Make us laugh? Cry? Educate us about cars? You be the judge. And yes, I’ll go on record saying you can watch it with the entire family – except the bull one…I think.

CLICK HERE TO BE OFF ON YOUR JOURNEY OF WONDER

FYI … I’M 60% CLOSER TO EATING AN OREO VELVEETA SANDWICH WEARING A BABY BIB.

See what happens when you skip a day reading this blog. I know, riveting stuff, right? Just to bring everyone up to speed last week I launched a site called Bloggerdise.com.

Again it was developed (with 3 friends) to be a NON-PAYING / NON-ANALYTICS-JUDGING service that CONNECTS ANY BLOGGER with COMPANIES THAT WANT TO DO GIVEAWAYS. I should know, I talked to ‘em all myself. Here’s a snap shot of Bloggerdise in case you blanked out.

See, once you register you can scroll over each ad and get the direct link to the sponsors. And it’s totally FREE to join and use.

Sorry for the rehash. Anyhow, I said if I got 150 blog registers by Feb 1st I would eat an Oreo® with a generous application of Velveeta® while wearing a baby bib. Last I checked we were at 87 signups (and 58 companies).

SO WILL BE SHIRTLESS?

Still wrestling with that decision. The docs cleared me, but two things are stopping me…

- Uneven patches of chest hair

- I’m 40

Though I do feel like I’m in the best shape of my life (that won’t be saying much once you see me).

VIDEO OR PHOTOS?

Wow! Another toughie. Again if I’m cleared to go I’m leaning towards video (and some snap shots). What do you think America?

Again, thanks for checking out Bloggerdise. And if you haven’t you can click here. And here’s a FREE button for your troubles and to post (if you want). 

Oh, and sorry for making you nauseous on a Sunday morning. Toodles! 

8 URLs STILL UP FOR GRABS AS OF 9:38A.M.

After a rousing round of the Google Awkward Search game (see Friday's post), I’ll sometimes head over to GoDaddy.com. There I play another game called, Find the available URLs that society will pay big bucks for in the near future. Here are 8 of my predictions.

BeerChin.com

NinjaBowler.com

SmurfJunk.com

BillOReillyHasCrabs.com

FrogPoo.com

SodaNation.com

Gooooaaalll.com

BoobiesnButts.com

BONUS available URL:

FORGIVE ME FATHER I HAVE VIEWED NUNS WITH GUNS LOTS OF TIMES.

Ok, so there is this site called NUNS WITH GUNS. It's the brainchild of  performance artist Giuliana Dieni. And that’s about all I can tell you about it...sorta. I mean if I had to venture a guess this website is something like the movie tortures in A Clockwork Orange combined with a pinch of porn combined with bible study combined with gay/transgender rights. I can honestly say that some of the stuff I have never ever seen in my life. And the other stuff I’m pretty sure have been in my fever dreams. Here's the only teaser I'll give you.

And to help you on your journey to this visual buffet here's a 1 word summation of each site section:

- live visuals (shocking)

- animation (um)

- bio (revealing)

- Installation (creepy)

- manifesto (subliminal)

- Homo (not-what-you're-thinking)

- Contact (normal-ish)

Click here to, well, um, I’m not sure. 

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! TELL ME HOW I CAN GO TO HELL.

If you say rape a kitten or eat a baby snow seal – that’s not the hell I’m referring to. It’s called HELL.COM. Above is a visual of the homepage. What is it? No F---ing clue. All I do know is it’s an uber-restricted site. If you roll your cursor over the homepage a flash occurs and then it reads NO ACCESS. That’s it. The mystery surrounding HELL.COM has been featured on CNN, NY Times, and the UK Guardian. Each report has offered up their own theories. Heavy metal fan site? A virtual lair for an evil organization? A hacker's hideout? Porn?

The only piece of info that was leaked about the site came in 2007 from the now defunct Sweet.cucumber.com They claimed that HELL.COM is a place for Net-artists to hang and create art. Unfortunately they had no proof to support that claim. But if it is true then someone PLEASE answer these questions for me…

- How do you register?

- Do you need to get an invite?

- How long has the site been up? (wiki says it's been around since '95)

- How do the artists create art on the site?

- Do they sell their art on tshirts or coffee mugs?

The only other clue I’ll leave you with is this video of HELL.COM I found on youtube. Again, I have no idea if this is real or fake.

10 URLs STILL UP FOR GRABS AS OF 8:58PM

This is probably my second favorite timewaster next to the Google Awkward Search game (see Friday's post). First thing I do is pop open a chilled brew (or two). [Tonight’s featured beer is Newcastle Brown Ale – a smooth import from the UK.] Next I turn on the laptop and make my way over to godaddy.com. Then I just search to see what URLs are still up for grabs as of NOW. Here are 10 (free of charge).

ORANGEBLISTER.COM

SAUCYHEAD.COM

PUFFDANCER.COM

STONEDGUY.COM

TUSHYMAX.COM

RICHKETCHUP.COM

PUKEBREATH.COM

CHEFSEXY.COM

HORRORFART.COM

WISHTOAD.COM

10 MORE URLs STILL UP FOR GRABS AT 9:18PM

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

I’d say since NBC’s Providence and Sisters were cancelled my Friday nights have been sadly lacking. Though truth be told, a close TGIF second would have to be cracking open a microbrew, turning off all the lights and searching godaddy.com for available URL names. Here are 10 dot com hopefuls that still haven’t been snatched up as of 30 seconds ago.

FROZENPOOP.COM

GUMBLOOD.COM

DEADZINGER.COM

TIGERBAD.COM

SCARYSHADOW.COM

WORMYAPPLE.COM

SNAKEMILK.COM

ORANGEVAPOR.COM

TOADSPRAY.COM

GLASSHEAD.COM

HAPPY 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY RATE MY POO.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

ASK DR. FIST BUMP.

[originally answered on the now defunct dr.fistbumpbasics.com]

Question:

As a pre-school teacher it’s hard for me to take off for a sick day. Which is why during flu season I’m very cautious around people. So much so that I’ve taken to fist bumping instead of shaking hands (so I don’t catch their germs). Is this considered impolite?

Thanks,

Sheera233

Answer:

Hey Sheera233,

Recently I read that Steve Jobs has joined the ranks of celebs that fist bump fans. In Steve’s case, he’s worried about catching any sort of virus because it might cause complications with his recent liver transplant. I guess what I’m saying is your reasoning is justified. However, since you don’t have the news media explaining every action in your life, it’d be best to give the fist bumpee a heads up first.

Regards,

Dr. FB

If interested, please now send first bump questions to Dr. Fist Bump C/O jcohen7523@gmail.com

EBAY ODDBALL FIND: DOT GONE ARTIFACT

Relive one of the more precious moments from the dot gone era with Socks, the official puppet / mascot of the now defunct Pets.com. Plush toy measures 12 inches tall. Though Socks has been handled it still remains in mint condition with no visible flaws. Click here to buy now for only $8.

10 WEBSITE URLs STILL UP FOR GRABS AT 10:22 PM.

I’m a freak for doing lots of things. I think the one that puts me over the top (aside from picking dried Elmer’s Glue off my arm) is checking to see what website names are still free – for fun. I either do the Godaddy thing or go old school and type it in the URL space. Either way you’re guaranteed at least 22.5 minutes of anti-boredom. Here’s the latest and greatest list, so get ‘em while they're still dot com ready.

HEADSYOULOSE.COM

TOMATOMUSH.COM

FIZZDIZZ.COM

TEDDYPRIDE.COM

TEXASFROST.COM

LIMEDONUT.COM

NERDFART.COM

SQUIRTMETER.COM

RUMJELLY.COM

SCARYJUSTICE.COM