FREAKY CRAP IN JARS THAT MAKE PERFECT GIFTS

If anyone cares, the jar (with a screw-on lid) was invented by John Landis way back in 1858. 

If anyone further cares I bought a House of Blues mason jar when I was in Chicago.

It's now gathering dust. In the jar’s defense it didn’t contain anything to add to its presentation. The following jars won’t have that issue. In fact, I'll take it one step further and guarantee that ANYONE on your holiday list will absolutely cherish these jar gems for years to come.

ALIEN SPECIMEN IN JAR ($33.99 @ ebay)

- 5 ½” tall

- Never been opened

HEAD IN A JAR ($16.99 @ Totallycostumes.com)

- Accurate detailing

- Plastic non-slip lid

PURPLE BRAIN IN JAR ($32.00 s @ etsy.com)

- Made of wool fleece

- Jar has round design

HORMEL PIGS FEET (??? @ Walmart.com)

- 14 oz. jar (family size)

- Feet stored in vinegar

FOR THE COST OF 1 BOOB JOB I COULD GET 4 FREAK SURGERIES.

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

No joke. In 2010 beauty still trumps freak, and I can prove it. Say I want to get my boobs done by a reputable surgeon. That's gonna cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of 8K. Where if I was going the bizarre body modification route I could get 4 surgeries for that same price. Here's the rundown of what I could surgically alter on my face and head for bargain bucks.

FACIAL TOUNGUE SPLITTING: Patient’s tongue is divided 3cm to 5 cm to give a more snake-like appearance. Average cost $2K.

EAR POINTING: A wedge of the ear is removed, then stitched together to produce an elf-like effect. Price $1,800.

EYEBALL JEWELRY: Ocular surgery that adds a decorative platinum implant inserted under a thin membrane in the eye. English: Doctors glue jewelry to your eyeball. Average cost $1200.

3D IMPLANTS: Inserting objects (made of titanium, silicone, teflon or steel) beneath the skin to form shapes. The most common usage is to create the appearance of horns. Cost 600 bucks.

GUESS THE SKIN RASH.

I am swollen red bumps that appear on the skin as a result of a reaction from allergies. I can even be brought on by stress. I also cause itching, burning and stinging. My official medical name is Urticaria. What am i?

HIVES

What should you do?

See your local doctor. Most likely he’ll prescribe antihistamines or over the counter topical creams.