Wednesday, October 26, 2011

ODDS OF SH-T HAPPENING TO YOU

Dr. Ian Malcolm (math guru from Jurassic Park) preached about the chaos theory. Not sure if these fall into that category, but here are some f’d-up probabilities for you.


Being injured from using a chainsaw: 4,464 to 1


Being audited by the IRS: 175 to 1



Getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1


              A meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1

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27 comments:

  1. More than 50% of the time... I'm the "1".

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  2. It's hard to choose which fate is worse!

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  3. LOL!!! Well that gets rid of my astroid nightmares once and for all

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  4. I had the IRS so far up my ass it gave me hemorrhoids. What are the odds of that?

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  5. I think as a non-US living guy, my odds with the IRS are more like 175,000,000 to 1

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  6. I'm not happy with hemorrhoids odds.....damn.

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  7. This is pretty interesting. I'll be gutted if that asteroid does end up hitting me after all, especially if I avoided haemorrhoids!

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  8. If a meteor landed on my house, I'd probably be the unluckiest human being that ever existed.

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  9. I think I'd rather have a meteor hit my house though.

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  10. Getting injured by a chainsaw is a lot more likely than I thought. lol.

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  11. yikes.... who knew hemorrhoids were so common?

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  12. just my luck i'm usually the 1 in any ratio except when it's the good stuff like winning the lottery

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  13. I will throw a party with 25 people and randomly blurt out "who's got the ass problems in here?!"

    Hold them hostage until someone spills the beans, laugh, go to jail for using a firearm to keep them in place while they answered, etc. It'll make for a great day.

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  14. none of this stuff even occurred to me...

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  15. I'll take the meteor over hemorrhoids any day!

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  16. I'll take the last set of odds, thanks!

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  17. I have trouble with hemorrhoids occasionally so nothing else will go wrong for me, correct?

    Love,
    Lola

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  18. Thank god for the meteor odds...they were getting worse as I read down further.

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  19. Rather have a meteor land on my house than be audited by the irs.

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  20. Well what are the chances of that....

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  21. I'm always on the lookout for the next future ex-Mrs. Malcolm.
    Best line of Jurassic Park. What are the odds that somebody would bring up this quote?

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  22. Where does the "25 to 1" for hemorrhoids come from? Your lifetime change of getting hemorrhoids is at least 50%, if not higher (more than half the population over age 50 will have them at some point).

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  23. despite the odds. I still fear the Meteor more then any of the others, even the IRS

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