by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)
This is by no means some preachy, “after-school special” speech trying to get young, impressionable girls to face their low self-esteem issues, and not vamp it up for H-day. Wasted words as far as I’m concerned. I was 21. I know the lure of being able to drop your prim and proper façade one day out of the year. Back in the day I totally shoved my size 6 body into a short, short, spandexy, costume that showed off my young curves and perky, ample cleavage. Mostly I did it to impress some guy in my sociology class. Turned out to be creep, but that’s a whole other story. Anyway, as I said before, the advice part is NOT about the “sexing it up." It’s about keeping your brain intact for the evening. Lets face it, 4 hours at a kegger (or bar) full of horned up guys, dressed half naked is going to draw all kinds of attention – good and creepy. So here are my personal Halloween Vamp survival tips for the night...
Costume Choice:
BATGIRL
Reason:
It can be as form fitting as you want (see visual). A utility belt is also part of the costume. Much better than dragging a purse around, that you'll probably lose.
Vamp Belt Supplies (other than the mints, money & makeup):
C-PHONE – For obvious reasons.
EMERGENCY CASH STASH – For cab fare. Rest assured, the crazy party crowd will split you and your friends up (including the one that drove).
PEPPER SPRAY – It might seem silly, ‘til you’re walking to the diner on a dimly lit street.
CONDOM – You might say no, but the 5 beers and shots might make you think otherwise. Regardless if you regret it the next day, you should at least be safe that night.
ASPIRIN – (If you use that condom) helps with all types of headaches the next morning.
Keep some henchmen around:
Probably be a good idea to keep some real guy buddies (you trust) close at hand, just in case some Joker gets a little too touchy feely.
That’s pretty much it. If you need me I’ll be home with my roommate, 3 Netflix DVDs and a pint of something.
by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)
To me this is the real “license to print money scheme.” Figure out who’s the biggest crook or crazy in the news, and make a Halloween mask. Case in point, Mr. Bernie Madoff. The Associated Press reported that Rubie’s Costume Company (makers of Prince Ponzi) have already sold 15,000 masks to stores across the country. Right now you can get a Madoff Mask for $27 on Amazon. Pretty reasonable. Though I’d bet all of Bernie’s fraudulent investments that the sticker price is going to skyrocket in the coming weeks. Mark my words, by October 20th you’ll see ‘em going for as high as $150 - $200 bucks on ebay. Michael Jackson won’t be too far behind.
I’ve seen the scenario a million times. Boy meets girl. Boy starts dating girl. Boy and girl start to get serious. Boy gets invited to a Halloween party. Boy and girl decide to dress up as pimp and ho. There’s something magical about this costume duet that seems to rekindle the initial 1st date fires. It also offers you a good shot at winning any costume contest. If you feel your relationship might be taking this natural course head to pimpcostumes.com. They literally have anything a fly papa and a naughty mama could want.
If you’re going to talk the talk and walk the walk, these fine ass clothes don’t come cheap. Expect to pay around a couple of Benjamins for the outfits (pimp or ho), and anywhere from 30 to 60 bucks for accessories. And just in case, pimpcostumes.com has pimp N ho sizing charts and even pimp-ology info.
Remember...
"Pimp-in ain’t easy... so keep your Ho’s sleazy and you know they'll keep your fingers greasy."
