Tuesday, October 27, 2009

OPEN LETTER TO THOSE WHO WHORE IT UP FOR HALLOWEEN.


by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

This is by no means some preachy, “after-school special” speech trying to get young, impressionable girls to face their low self-esteem issues, and not vamp it up for H-day. Wasted words as far as I’m concerned. I was 21. I know the lure of being able to drop your prim and proper façade one day out of the year. Back in the day I totally shoved my size 6 body into a short, short, spandexy, costume that showed off my young curves and perky, ample cleavage. Mostly I did it to impress some guy in my sociology class. Turned out to be creep, but that’s a whole other story. Anyway, as I said before, the advice part is NOT about the “sexing it up." It’s about keeping your brain intact for the evening. Lets face it, 4 hours at a kegger (or bar) full of horned up guys, dressed half naked is going to draw all kinds of attention – good and creepy. So here are my personal Halloween Vamp survival tips for the night...

Costume Choice:

BATGIRL

Reason:

It can be as form fitting as you want (see visual). A utility belt is also part of the costume. Much better than dragging a purse around, that you'll probably lose.

Vamp Belt Supplies (other than the mints, money & makeup):

C-PHONE For obvious reasons.

EMERGENCY CASH STASH – For cab fare. Rest assured, the crazy party crowd will split you and your friends up (including the one that drove).

PEPPER SPRAY – It might seem silly, ‘til you’re walking to the diner on a dimly lit street.

CONDOM – You might say no, but the 5 beers and shots might make you think otherwise. Regardless if you regret it the next day, you should at least be safe that night.

ASPIRIN – (If you use that condom) helps with all types of headaches the next morning.

Keep some henchmen around:

Probably be a good idea to keep some real guy buddies (you trust) close at hand, just in case some Joker gets a little too touchy feely.

That’s pretty much it. If you need me I’ll be home with my roommate, 3 Netflix DVDs and a pint of something.

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