A GUY’S GUIDE TO POST CHRISTMAS BARGAIN HUNTING WITH THE SIGNIFICANT OTHER.

by Nameless Dad (NWM Staff Writer)

Think the hours of having your ass be dragged from store to store is finally over? Think again. Now that Xmas is done all the stores are slashing prices on stuff they couldn’t get rid of. Which means bargain hunting season has just begun. And the big bonus kicker is since I get time off between Christmas and New Year's, I’m at my wife’s mercy. I’m essentially her pack mule for the day. The excuse she uses to drag my lazy (football watching) butt off the couch is, “Honey everything is so cheap right now and we REALLY do need a lot of stuff for the house. Plus, you’re off this week…it’s just easier if we both do the shopping together. Besides I don’t know what you want.”

If you’re the sucker (like me) that falls for this, here are 3 things that might come in handy on your 3 hour bargain safari.

iPhone Apps: Offers the necessary info or distraction you need without being too involved in case the wife has any important questions – Honey? Blue or dark blue?!

• Doodle Jump (99¢)
• ESPN Scorecenter (FREE):
• Manga Strip Poker ($1.99)
• Let’s Golf Lite (FREE)

Griffin TuneJuice Charger for iPod and iPhone ($23.76): No way will one iphone charge last the whole shopping day. Takes 4 AAA batteries.

12 Pack - Red Bull Energy Shot - 2oz. ($29.95): Perfect mini-push when pooped.

THE ART OF THE SHOPPER SHOVE & GRAB.

by Jani Ogglin (NWM Staff Writer)

‘Tis the season to take advantage of tons of bargains at your neighborhood uber-mega-superstores. Of course to do that you need to wade through a sea of crazed shoppers. Now I’m a native NYer, so I’m no stranger to crowds. It does serve me well during the rest of year shopping in malls and department stores. However, during the holiday season, you need to up your game when it comes to the thrill of the bargain hunt. Here’s my 5step technique to improving your shopper shoving & grabbing skills.

THE SECRET GRAB

Step 1. Eye the prize: When looking for what you want DO NOT be obvious. Treat it like when your girlfriend asks you to nonchalantly look at a cute guy. If you get over-excited and look directly at the prize, you might alert a shopper that’s closer by.

Step 2. Take the angled path: B-lining straight for the product will alert other shoppers to your intended shopping item. So walk in a calm, angled fashion. Go near the product, but not right on top of it. When you are in striking (grabbing) distance, do a gradual turn towards the item in question. Then in a relaxed manner claim your prize.

THE SHOVE FACTOR

Step 3. Shove nicely: The most common misconception of “shopper shoving” is people think it needs to include some ‘tude. WRONG! Always be polite when shoving your way through crowds. Again, you just want to get to the prize, that's all. Pissing someone off will just take vital time away from reaching your goal. While moving through just simply say, “excuse me,” or “oops sorry, my bad,” and be on your merry way.

Step 4. Scoot don’t shove: Don’t bend in, or put your full force into a shove. That will only make the shovee think you’re out for blood, rather than an honest mistake. Instead do a "wiggle scoot" between people. You’ll make much less enemies that way.

Step 5. Hands up: Keeping your hands up while shoving is a sign of submission, that you are just trying the move through the crowd in peace. It also decreases your surface area making the "wiggle scoot" must easier (see diagram below).

SEMI-COOL 2O YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION OUTFIT FOR UNDER $170.

‘Tis the weekend for reunions (since everyone is usually in for Thanksgiving.) Got my 20 yr. HS tonight. As far as my visual presence goes, I’m aiming for trendy, but nothing too overstated. Oh, and pretty much anything that’ll make me look thinner…for not a lot of money. Tough order, but I think I achieved it.

Jefferson cord blazer ($88) GAP

Faded Glory - Men's Stripe Long-Sleeve Button-Down Shirt ($4)

Calvin Klein Jeans Men's Medium Wash Jeans ($59.99) Calvin Klein

Isaaco Men's Black Leather Casual Belt ($13.49)

GET COOL BAR TEES – MINUS THE BAR TAB, HANGOVER & PLANE TICKET.

It happens to me, ‘cause I’m a freak. If I go to a bar and have a really cool time, I’ll want to buy the bar's tshirt. Just 'cause. However, 2 things stop me from accomplishing my goal …

a) For some reason “bar tshirt buying” tends to be frowned upon aka dorkish, unless you’re visiting another country (at least that’s how the rule plays out in my warped mind.)

b) By the time I’m ready to purchase (rule A be damned), I only have a few crumpled dollar bills (leftover drink-round change) that I need for cab fare.

Of course (now that I know) I could just go to Desteenation.com. A site that has collected Tshirts from the top bars on the west coast and Hawaii (west, west coast). Sorry, east coast isn’t represented…yet. They also have Tshirts from truck stop diners, historical destinations, fishing spots and more. Desteenation.com offers all women’s and men’s sizes (unlike the bars) and even has hats. They also have the bio on each bar, so you can withstand any Q&A about your Tee.

NWM Tip: Check out the Clearance T-shirt section: $18 Tees + FREE shipping.

FREEBIE FRIDAY: SOMETHING FOR NOTHING – FROM A BIG GIANT!

I’m about to do something no blog before me has ever attempted. I’m actually going to say something nice about Wal-Mart. Personally, I’m pro "mom & pop" stores all the way. However, recently while surfing the mega, super-smiley-faced Walmart.com (yes I'm that lame) I did find something that was kinda cool – The free trial & sample section. An area of the site that offers free trials on everything from music to paper towels to “quit smoking” gum. Is there a catch? Sure. That goes without saying in corporate America. Some of the samples are only available in store. And some you need to fill out a 5 hour survey (ok, more like 3 ½ hr) to claim your product-prize. But still, one can’t argue that the stuff is free. Yes, you’re probably getting a teeny-tiny size, but hey, it’s still a way to stick it to the MAN. Sorta.