Wednesday, December 14, 2011

GO BARE BACK ON A PUBLIC TOLIET SEAT WITH A SEMI-CLEAR CONSCIENCE


By bare back I mean, sitting on a toilet with zero protection at all. No hypoallergenic cover, no tissues, nada. Personally I like the way it feels – cool and refreshing. The Centers For Disease Control & Preventionstates that it is next to impossible to contract STDs from sitting on a public toilet seat. Though before you breath a sigh of relief and pop a naked squat like me, there are 3 types of diseases you still MIGHT (and by might I mean 99% no) contract.
Crabs: Genital lice that feed on blood in your private area. It’s the most contagious out of all the sexual diseases. You literally have a 90% of catching crabs just having sex one time with an infected person. Thankfully it's next to impossible to contract it on the toilet seat. That's 'cause the little buggers die when they’re away from the body for 24 hours.
Scabies: Sounds nasty, doesn’t it? These are microscopic mites that cause the skin to be irritated and itch like mad. You usually get it through serious skin-to skin action. Technically you could catch these guys from shaking hands or hugging…nude. However, similar to Crabs they have a tough time surviving on their own. Though they can live a bit longer – up to 36 hours.
Herpes: The worst of them all. The one that stays with you forever. We’re talking skin and genital blisters, ulcers – a literal buffet of bad stuff. The good news is this STD is the weakest of them all outside the body.

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24 comments:

  1. The title of this post cracked me up haha.

    (no pun intended)

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  2. I thought I was the only one that flushed a toilet like that!

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  3. Now I'm really really scared, I don't think I'll be using the public restroom any time soon.

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  4. I had never considered I might get an STD from a public toilet. Now I'm worrying about what I might have.

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  5. The more you bareback the tougher you become....

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  6. 99% no still doesn't offer that great a margin in all honesty which is pretty worrying, I'm scared now! :(

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  7. No thanks, I always use protection.

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  8. Never go bareback on a public toilet... :p

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  9. Thats it! From now on I'm wearing an adult diaper when I go out in public! It just makes sense!

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  10. SHUT THE FUCK UP.... you can get herpes from toilets? What about if you hover? I will never again, and I mean NEVER use a public restroom. I swear to G-d I will just go pee outside the store if I have to.

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  11. 1.) take toilet paper
    2.) wipe over seat one time

    3.) good to go


    (just pray that your dick doesnt touch the inside of the bowl)

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  12. When I have to take a dump at a public area, I just go in, grab some toilet paper, go back out, squat near the closest but most secluded tree, and let her rip.

    :)

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  13. You forgot one....MRSA! ICK. Gross. I think I'll use the protectors...or hover.

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  14. NO WAY! I don't touch a single thing in a public restroom with my hand. I flush with my foot, I lift up or close the lid with my foot. I've haven't gone bareback in years. Every go side saddle? yeehaw....

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  15. Thanks for sharing, sweetie.

    Love,
    Lola

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  16. ok, you've convinced me. No more sitting on public seats...I'll wait til I make it home.
    Rosemary

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  17. Still laughing at Pat's side-saddle remark! And bare-back? Not a chance!

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  18. see after all that you still need to be careful where you sit

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  19. Wow...I might start washing up in the restroom toilet...thanks man!

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. mmmmmm. crabs, scabies, and herpes!

    Exactly what I asked Santa for this year!

    HO HO HO!

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