Friday, January 20, 2012

COULD SMURFETTE CONCEIVE A CHILD WITH A SNORK?


I wake up on a Saturday and that’s the kind of $% that pollutes my mind. I know. I know. I need help in a bad way. But for argument sake, let’s say we all have guns pointed at our heads and are forced to entertain the notion. My thought would be this – YES, SMURFETTE AND A SNORK CAN HAVE A BABY. And I can prove it.
Thanks to Carolus Linnaeus we now have a classification system for every type of animal in existence. Now the golden rule we all know is different species can NOT mate successfully. Hence, there are no DOGCATS running around. And sure, if you look at a Smurf and a Snork you’d say the same thing, BUT YOU’D BE WRONG. Here’s why – you’re taking the “imaginary creature” approach. What your viewing on the show. NOW, if you treat them as real entities you get this type of scenario.

SMURFSNORKS

Kingdom
Cartoons

Phylum
1980s

Class
Saturday

* Order
Morning (* Smurfs were on before the Snorks)

Family
NBC

Genus
2D

Species
Traditional animation (non-CGI)

Since they only differ in one category, I’d compare it to 2 breeds of dogs trying to get it on. They can repoduce. It’s just that their final product will be a mutt. Sadly this will be the case with Smurfette and her Snork lover. But hey, they still would be able to have a kid. SO I WIN!!! Now give me some meds so I can get better.

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17 comments:

  1. Dude. How dare you have such a well thought out argument here. I'm like, in awe.

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  2. Good scientific research. I agree, they could have a kid and call it Smurk.

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  3. That's wrong but the children will be beautiful.....

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  4. It's kind of wrong but so well reasoned out that no one can fight it.

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  5. Now that there would be some sort of abomination of nature. lol.

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  6. I got a big fat doobie...does that count as meds?

    I would love to see how the "smurk" turns out! A new breed that would make history!

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  7. That is waaaay to close to child porn dude. Step back.

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  8. Go. to. bed. Seriously. Your mind is making up some funky stuff.

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  9. Lmao, I have no idea what to think about this post buddy. I'm glad to hear they could, nice work on figuring it out.

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  10. Were you drinking heavily again? hahaha

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  11. what a well thought out arguement

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  12. What's a snork? I know you have it up there with Smurfette, but I've never heard of it and if I haven't heard of something it can't possibly exist. I never understand why only one female existed in the smurf world. What a load of crap.

    Love,
    Janie Junebug

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  13. Problem: if you're trying to create an entire population of Snorkettes, then eventually the genes for Smurfette would be completely washed out by the excess of Snorks involved.

    If I remember, Snorks were implied as to having babies or, in the very least, copulating with one another (there were females AND male snorks), whereas the Smurfs either lack genitalia or can only copulate via magic. Hell, before Smurfette there were only MALE smurfs, suggesting both a homosexual culture as well as a means of reproduction beyond male-female copulation.

    I'm just sayin' bro, either the Smurfs are THUPER gay, thus leaving it to only Smurfette and the Snorks to create this new breed of saturday morning 80's cartoon creature, or the Smurfs somehow have a way for male-male reproduction.

    So honestly, it ain't Smurfette you have to worry about but, rather, a society of supermale, testosterone-overloaded snurfs.

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  14. I hate to be a huge nerd, but Smurfette can't even have babies. Gargamel created her, so she's artificial. Wiki it.

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