Saturday, April 24, 2010

COULD SMURFETTE CONCEIVE A CHILD WITH A SNORK?


I wake up on a Saturday and that’s the kind of $% that pollutes my mind. I know. I know. I need help in a bad way. But for argument sake, let’s say we all have guns pointed at our heads and are forced to entertain the notion. My thought would be this – YES, SMURFETTE AND A SNORK CAN HAVE A BABY. And I can prove it.

Thanks to Carolus Linnaeus we now have a classification system for every type of animal in existence. Now the golden rule we all know is different species can NOT mate successfully. Hence, there are no DOGCATS running around. And sure, if you look at a Smurf and a Snork you’d say the same thing, BUT YOU’D BE WRONG. Here’s why – you’re taking the “imaginary creature” approach. What your viewing on the show. NOW, if you treat them as real entities you get this type of scenario.


SMURF/ SNORKS


Kingdom
Cartoons


Phylum
1980s


Class
Saturday


* Order
Morning (* Smurfs were on before the Snorks)


Family
NBC


Genus
2D


Species
Traditional animation (non-CGI)


Since they only differ in one category, I’d compare it to 2 breeds of dogs trying to get it on. They can repoduce. It’s just that their final product will be a mutt. Sadly this will be the case with Smurfette and her Snork lover. But hey, they still would be able to have a kid. SO I WIN!!! Now give me some meds so I can get better.


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12 comments:

  1. I think this is the best post I have read in a while... I am seriously trying to reel in my giggles

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  2. I used to dream that I was Smurfette in a world with handsome Smurfs. You actually woke up with morning wood for smurfs? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

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  3. I've seen worse matches in humans and they were certainly able to reproduce.

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  4. According to Donnie Darko Smurfs are A sexual.

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  5. The better question is how would Smurfette even have time to shag a Snork when she has all those other Smurfs to service??? There were an awful lot of Smurfs and only one Smurfette......

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  6. Who would put what which hole?
    Also while I see your logic I must defer to the logic of Fiddler on the Roof:

    An owl may love a fish, but where would they build a nest? ~ Tevye

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  7. It would certainly be an ugly sort of hybrid.

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  8. You've convinced me all-knowing one.

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  9. Does that mean Smurfette could also have a baby with Huckleberry Hound?

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  10. Would that make the baby a smork? A snorkette?

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  11. Hmmmm.... I need pictures.... Where are the doodles my friend.... Remember those? I need a doodle of a Smurfette and Snork love child during your next meeting....

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  12. Of course they can mate. Where do you think we got the characters for Avatar?

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