SO HOW MUCH WOULD A ROUND OF BEERS AND A PIE COST IN SIBERIA?

I don’t know what it is I just have this fascination with Siberia. I mean, it’s not enough to book a ticket there, but just enough to be mildly curious about it for the rest of my natural born life. Come to think of it, in the 80s I was subjected to a healthy diet of "Cold War-laced action movies" which might've had something to do with it. 

So first off, if I was in the land way, way, down under where would I go for PIZZA? To that I’d say (according to Lonely Planet) the best pizza place in Siberia – Mama Roma.  Located somewhere um here…

Thankfully they have a website that has a translator. So let the itemizing begin (based on the fact you're dining with 3 friends.) 

4 pints of Heineken costs 720 rubles (Russian currency) or $25.50

1 Margerita (Tomatoes, Mozzarella) pizza costs 255 rubles or $9.03

Total cost of a night with friends in Siberia? Priceless or $34.53

BAD TASTE?

You tell me. I’m more of a matzo guy. I mean I saw these little “body of Christ” wafers used at a first (or was it a second?) Communion I attended.

And I’m pretty sure I watched the Corleones woof down wafers in the Godfather. My question is this – If you eat a Communion wafer at any other time outside of church, is that considered a sin? Again, the only way I can relate is I’ve eaten Matzo during a Jewish ceremony. Yet I’ve also devoured Matzo pizza while watching football.

My point is this, our unleavened bread satisfies both holy and hungry urges. So what's the deal with your heavenly Christ crackers?

DEEP FRIED DELICIOUS PIZZA?

Wish I could take credit for this food find, but Brooklyn Heights blog takes the cake (or rather the pie). They did a post about this slice of heaven available at the Chip Shop (in Brooklyn, NY). 

Apparently the restaurant has evolved their use of English beer batter breading (usually reserved for fish ‘n chips). The head chef Randy Carpenter fries up everything from Twix® bars, Snickers®, 3 types of fish, shrimp, and yes, Pizza. You can get a deep fried deep-dish slice of pepperoni with cheese (pictured above) for only $3.50.

FYI…they also have something called the Spotted Dick with Custard for $5. No joke.

Witness how the magic happens…

MY PERSONAL 6 DAY FORECAST.

THE PIZZA CONE…BEST THING SINCE SLICED um PIZZA.

K! Pizza-Cone shop (in midtown Manhattan) is changing how we scarf down our slices of za. No need to worry about oil running over and scorching that fleshy area between the thumb and pointer finger. They serve their pizza in a cone. The store manager (Ingo Pinto) got the idea from witnessing the pizzacone craze in Portugal, Italy and Brazil.

The restaurant setup is similar to a TCBY. You got crispy cones and all types of toppings to choose from. Though instead of Gummy Bears and Oreo bits, you have stuff like salami, broccoli, bacon and green peppers. Next, they throw in some sauce and cheese, and in 5 minutes you got the perfect pizza-to-go. Right now a slice goes for $4.90 – a couple bucks more than the old 2009 models. To me it's totally worth it to be able to shove a taste of the future in your mouth!

WE CAN CLONE SHEEP, HELP ERECTIONS, MAKE PHONES SMART, BUT STILL NOTHING FOR PIZZA BURN.

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

I fell victim yesterday. Happened approximately at 12:43pm. The culprit? A large pepperoni and sausage pizza (sorry Kosher fanbase) that was piping hot from the pizza oven. All it took was one bite for the inevitable to happen, PIZZA BURN! I totally scorched the tip of my tongue and the roof of my mouth. The thing that pisses me off the most is I even did the obligatory blow right before it happened. Did squat to help.

NO CURE FOR PB, BUT THERE IS HOPE.

The one thing that sucks about this affliction is not just the discomfort, but it stops you from enjoying food for UP TO 7 to 10 days. So sayeth the knowledgeable forum folks lurking on google. Fortunately I did find 3 ways to alleviate the pain and possibly help speed up the healing process. Courtesy of Mothernature.com

GARGLE SALT WATER: One 1/2 teaspoon of table salt should do the trick. Rinse every hour or so until you feel the pain subside.

COLD MILK: Drinking it helps coat the lesion. Unfortunately you’d have to chug a lot of the white stuff to make any sort of difference.

DRUGS: Specifically ORABASE. An ointment (in gel form) that helps sooth mouth burns.

ARTIE LANGE EATS HERE, A LOT.

by Biz-Boy (NWM Staff Writer)

Howard Stern’s sidekick / comedian Artie Lange has made no bones about his love for foods of the high-caloric variety. So what’s his favorite out of the bunch? Probably depends on his mood and where he is in the country. Though if Artie is in Hoboken, NJ, dollars to powdered, creamed donuts he'll make a stop at his favorite pizza place – UPTOWN PIZZERIA. To be honest, I have to side with Artie. This za doesn’t disappoint. I had a pepperoni sausage slice from there a couple of years back. Man was it good. The tomato sauce was slightly sweet with just the right amount of spices. I could totally taste the fresh mozzarella. And the crust was crispy, but not too dry. Perfecto. Didn’t even need to add any garlic powder. Next time you’re over by 54 14th St. in Hoboken, NJ, you gotta stop by for a try. For the true Artie-experience, order a slice of Sicilian.

THE PERFECT WINE WITH BUFFALO WINGS.

by Eddie Winkle (NWM Staff Writer)

Football is not just relegated as a guy’s sport. In fact, one of my coworkers usually has a coed indoor tailgating fiesta at his apartment every Sunday. He usually asks me, but honestly it’s not my scene. Never been a big football fan. For 16 or so weeks I’m usually oblivious to what goes on, except when I’m forced to attend a Super Bowl party. However, this week my friend actually needed football advice from moi. He had invited a girl he just started dating (totally another story in itself – OMG), who did NOT like beer. Since he primarily serves beer and wings at his shindig, he was wondering what else could he serve (to impress) her. In my mind, it’s simply what wine you can pair with wings? The question was a toughie. Fish, sizzling fajitas, even pizza I can find a wine. But wings? Took some real thinking. Soul searching. Towards the end of the week it hit me – a Sauvignon Blanc, of course! I chose this for 2 reasons. One, an ice cold, crisp white totally cools off the hot wing spices. Two, it’s crisp and dry, so it doesn’t overpower the wings or blue cheese taste. A Pinot Grigio fruity flavor would do just that. Excited with my perfect deduction I couldn’t wait to tell my friend. Though alas the pairing would never be. Turns out my instincts were right about her. She has a serious boyfriend a mere 3 states away. Two-timing bitch.

THE BIG BEEF WITH ITALIAN BEEF!

Wandering Matt’s Review: 4th Street Chicago Italian Beef (204 4th Street)

It’s late, you’re drunk, you want FOOD and your in De Moines, Iowa. To be honest, you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting some pizza, wing or burger joint [First and last time I use that phrase with food.] Of course, if you aren’t a local you should probably go for something real authentic, like Italian Beef. And what better place to go than Tommy Farrell’s 4th Street Italian Beef on 204 4^th street. So what’s Italian beef you ask? All good, nourishing stuff for a growing, drunk, college boy. Sirloin beef simmered in all types of Italian seasonings (straight from mama’s kitchen). Then sliced thin and piled high on chewy bread. Tommy's personal variation is smothering the beef with hot peppers. If this sounds good to you, 4th Street Chicago Italian Beef is the place to go. Oh and if you see Tommy, don’t forget to ask him about his treasured book of mafia members. Trust me, it’ll all make sense once you’re there.

GIMME A BEER, WITH NO ANCHOVIES!

So you’re out with the guys and knocked down a bunch of brews. Of course by the end of the night the unavoidable hits you – THE MUNCHIES! Well thanks to master homebrewers Tom and Athena Seefurth, one swig of their ale will satisfy both cravings – MAMMA MIA! PIZZA BEER. Ok, so maybe it wouldn’t exactly take the place of that hot, greasy slice. What you do get is a honey golden beer with hints of basil, tomato, oregano, basil, garlic – and no chance of scorching the roof of your mouth. Pairs perfectly with a pepperoni and cheese slice to go.

NWM tip: Chill before serving.