WE CAN CLONE SHEEP, HELP ERECTIONS, MAKE PHONES SMART, BUT STILL NOTHING FOR PIZZA BURN.

by One Hungry Jew (NWM Staff Writer)

I fell victim yesterday. Happened approximately at 12:43pm. The culprit? A large pepperoni and sausage pizza (sorry Kosher fanbase) that was piping hot from the pizza oven. All it took was one bite for the inevitable to happen, PIZZA BURN! I totally scorched the tip of my tongue and the roof of my mouth. The thing that pisses me off the most is I even did the obligatory blow right before it happened. Did squat to help.

NO CURE FOR PB, BUT THERE IS HOPE.

The one thing that sucks about this affliction is not just the discomfort, but it stops you from enjoying food for UP TO 7 to 10 days. So sayeth the knowledgeable forum folks lurking on google. Fortunately I did find 3 ways to alleviate the pain and possibly help speed up the healing process. Courtesy of Mothernature.com

GARGLE SALT WATER: One 1/2 teaspoon of table salt should do the trick. Rinse every hour or so until you feel the pain subside.

COLD MILK: Drinking it helps coat the lesion. Unfortunately you’d have to chug a lot of the white stuff to make any sort of difference.

DRUGS: Specifically ORABASE. An ointment (in gel form) that helps sooth mouth burns.