Sunday, April 10, 2011

1 OF 18 REASONS WHY MATZO SUCKS (an ongoing series)


I blink my eyes and Passover once again is about to creep up on me and throw that proverbial plastic bag over my face. Then the holiday will hold the bag tight ‘til my struggling body goes limp.
Actually, I’m making more of it than it is. To all you non-Jews out there that have never been to a Passover Seder – think Thanksgiving combined with rules and reading out loud. And of course zero bread or anything with yeast (stuffing, beer, etc.) WHY? Basically because some Jewish, Moses roadie didn’t know how to budget time very well, we’re stuck chompin’ on Matzo for 7 %$#% days. Ugh.
Here’s the first of 30 reasons of why I feel Matzo sucks...and you should to.

#1: Matzo immediately shatters into crumbs when you spread anything on it, especially butter.

BTW...my whole "Matzo sucks" positioning shouldn't affect your opinion of Streit's – Makers of fine Kosher for Passover products since 1925. Nothing says Passover like Streit's. Delicious! Tasty! Kosher-riffic!

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Posted by Copyboy at 10:10 AM
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24 comments:

  1. Megan HarmeyerApril 10, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    That made me LOL. Nothing with yeast for 7 days? People here in New Mexico would die.

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  2. ZombieApril 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Bleh... gives me a bad taste in the back of my throat just thinking about it.

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  3. Chris PhillipsApril 10, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    you butter matzo?

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  4. AngeApril 10, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    I have been trying to hide from my kids that passover is almost here, but they saw some greeting cards at the store yesterday, and got excited. There is seriously something wrong with my kids... what kid gets excited for passover???

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  5. AnonymousApril 10, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    although it does not have any yeast it can make your ass huge, if you eat it 7 days in a row.

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  6. AnonymousApril 10, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    I never tried Matzo, but now I'm curious to see how bad it tastes haha

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  7. Alex J. CavanaughApril 10, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    Save some of those little garlic butter dips you get with pizzas and just dip the crackers.

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  8. Ms. AApril 10, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    I would HAVE to find something to doctor it up!

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  9. Oilfield TrashApril 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Thanks for the laugh.

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  10. edApril 10, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    no bread or beer? that sucks

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  11. Major MackApril 10, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    tee hee :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. A Beer for the ShowerApril 10, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Call me ign'ant, but you guys munch more than just crackers for seven days, right? Condolences on no beer!

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  13. laughingmomApril 10, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    It breaks into crumbs to replace all of the stupid bread crumbs that you are supposed to chase out of the house with a feather!

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  14. BelleApril 10, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    I guess rice cakes or taco shells wouldn't make the cut would they? Or would they?
    They don't crumble much, but they are dry as the hills of Gilboa.

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  15. UnknownApril 10, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    I'm not Jewish, but I'm also not a fan of matzo.

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  16. tigeyApril 10, 2011 at 11:28 PM

    yeah, nobody likes matzo, and yet they still exist....hmmm

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  17. 123April 11, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    oh god, i couldn't do it D:

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  18. DCHYApril 11, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Tried matzo and I was like "Uhh, it crumbles so easily? No taste? Really?"

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  19. BBApril 11, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    My daughter in law is Jewish but she never taught me about her holidays when I asked. Maybe that's why she's bitchy around passover? haha. jk. Isn't matzo bland as well?

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  20. MarleneApril 11, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    But....does it taste good?

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  21. AllyApril 12, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    living on long island, we always had matzo with butter and tea at grandma's during lent. odd as we were hardcore eye-talian catholics. i may need to blog about this my friend :)

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  22. Less Than RealityApril 12, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    You are bringing me back to my childhood when I actually followed Passover...I did like Matzah pizza! But it seriously does break super easily.

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  23. AnonymousApril 15, 2011 at 2:57 PM

    I love matzah :)

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  24. Pat TillettApril 16, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    A bad time to come down with a yeast infection!

    ReplyDelete

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