Sunday, April 10, 2011

1 OF 18 REASONS WHY MATZO SUCKS (an ongoing series)


I blink my eyes and Passover once again is about to creep up on me and throw that proverbial plastic bag over my face. Then the holiday will hold the bag tight ‘til my struggling body goes limp.
Actually, I’m making more of it than it is. To all you non-Jews out there that have never been to a Passover Seder – think Thanksgiving combined with rules and reading out loud. And of course zero bread or anything with yeast (stuffing, beer, etc.) WHY? Basically because some Jewish, Moses roadie didn’t know how to budget time very well, we’re stuck chompin’ on Matzo for 7 %$#% days. Ugh.
Here’s the first of 30 reasons of why I feel Matzo sucks...and you should to.

#1: Matzo immediately shatters into crumbs when you spread anything on it, especially butter.

BTW...my whole "Matzo sucks" positioning shouldn't affect your opinion of Streit's – Makers of fine Kosher for Passover products since 1925. Nothing says Passover like Streit's. Delicious! Tasty! Kosher-riffic!

Stumble Upon Toolbar

24 comments:

  1. That made me LOL. Nothing with yeast for 7 days? People here in New Mexico would die.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bleh... gives me a bad taste in the back of my throat just thinking about it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have been trying to hide from my kids that passover is almost here, but they saw some greeting cards at the store yesterday, and got excited. There is seriously something wrong with my kids... what kid gets excited for passover???

    ReplyDelete
  4. although it does not have any yeast it can make your ass huge, if you eat it 7 days in a row.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I never tried Matzo, but now I'm curious to see how bad it tastes haha

    ReplyDelete
  6. Save some of those little garlic butter dips you get with pizzas and just dip the crackers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I would HAVE to find something to doctor it up!

    ReplyDelete
  8. no bread or beer? that sucks

    ReplyDelete
  9. Call me ign'ant, but you guys munch more than just crackers for seven days, right? Condolences on no beer!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It breaks into crumbs to replace all of the stupid bread crumbs that you are supposed to chase out of the house with a feather!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I guess rice cakes or taco shells wouldn't make the cut would they? Or would they?
    They don't crumble much, but they are dry as the hills of Gilboa.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm not Jewish, but I'm also not a fan of matzo.

    ReplyDelete
  13. yeah, nobody likes matzo, and yet they still exist....hmmm

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tried matzo and I was like "Uhh, it crumbles so easily? No taste? Really?"

    ReplyDelete
  15. My daughter in law is Jewish but she never taught me about her holidays when I asked. Maybe that's why she's bitchy around passover? haha. jk. Isn't matzo bland as well?

    ReplyDelete
  16. living on long island, we always had matzo with butter and tea at grandma's during lent. odd as we were hardcore eye-talian catholics. i may need to blog about this my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are bringing me back to my childhood when I actually followed Passover...I did like Matzah pizza! But it seriously does break super easily.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love matzah :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. A bad time to come down with a yeast infection!

    ReplyDelete

 
Custom Search