Thursday, November 17, 2011

HIP FUNERAL PARLOR LINGO


In case you find yourself at a mortuary mixer, here are some terms you might find useful.

CASKET RACK - A device which allows caskets to be placed one on top of the other for display purposes.

CENOTAPH - An empty tomb or monument erected in memory or a person buried elsewhere.

DISINTER - To remove the remains from the burial place; to dig up.

INTER - To bury a dead body in the earth in a grave or tomb.

INURNMENT - The placing of the ashes of one cremated in an urn.

NICHE - A hollowed space in a wall made especially (in this connotation) for placing of urns containing cremated remains.

PURGE - A discharge from the deceased through the mouth, nose and ears of matter from the stomach and intestine caused by improper or ineffectual embalming, due to putrefaction.

SLUMBER ROOM - A room equipped with, besides the usual furniture, a bed upon which the deceased is placed prior to casketing on the day of the funeral. The body, appropriately dressed, lies in state on the bed.

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Posted by Copyboy at 12:02 AM
Labels: ,

27 comments:

  1. Janie JunebugNovember 17, 2011 at 12:12 AM

    At last! You told me some stuff I don't know. It's important to know funeral lingo so I'll be able to help my kids decide what to do with me after I'm dead. And I do mean after. I will haunt them, and they know it.

    Love,
    Lola

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ms. ANovember 17, 2011 at 12:37 AM

    I've only known one person that used a slumber room, except they used a chaise lounge, rather than a bed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. D4November 17, 2011 at 12:58 AM

    Guess who's gonna dream with the Crypt Keeper tonight?!

    THIS GUY right here!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Bipolar DivaNovember 17, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    purge~ I'm not so sure I want to know that....creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. TexaGermaFinlaNadianNovember 17, 2011 at 3:49 AM

    Thank you very much for the second to last one on the list. It also made me purge my morning coffee. Blech!

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 4:17 AM

    Wow, a bit dark today are we? And purge, that sounds horrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AllenTeschNovember 17, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    I wonder what kind of insider terms they have that might offend others. Every profession has one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. OutcastNovember 17, 2011 at 5:17 AM

    You're the king of teaching me new things copyboy, great post as always. It's always a good thing to be schooled in the language of an undertaker!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Angry LurkerNovember 17, 2011 at 5:22 AM

    I saw a lot of purges when I worked in a hospital.

    ReplyDelete
  10. MarkNovember 17, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    I'd heard of Cenotaphs but didn't know just what one was.

    ReplyDelete
  11. A Daft Scots LassNovember 17, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    I had a friend who was an embalmer. Pretty fucking creepy. Good money, though.

    ReplyDelete
  12. MelanieNovember 17, 2011 at 8:59 AM

    The purge would freak me out...

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    This post kinda makes me want to go into the mortuary biz!

    ReplyDelete
  14. ZombieNovember 17, 2011 at 9:26 AM

    When I go shopping for my casket I will be using these terms for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Justine’s HalloweenNovember 17, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    I just learned a bunch of new words! The only ones I knew already were Inter and Inurnment. I wonder if they really do have mixers. I don't think I would want to go to one of those!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Alex J. CavanaughNovember 17, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    What do you do in your spare time again?

    ReplyDelete
  17. BelleNovember 17, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    I hope I don't purge after I'm dead. Not nice. No Kleenex in a coffin.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Margaret BenbowNovember 17, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Jesse, you left out the creepiest mortuary word ever: cremains. I think this means all the ashes, bone chunks and clinkers that have to be inurned.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jimmy FungusNovember 17, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    I think I will use this hip funeral parlor lingo to impress all the Goth chicks.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comNovember 17, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    I guess I won't accept any more slumber party invites.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    I've always thought cenotaph was a drug. D:

    ReplyDelete
  22. Little Gothic HorrorsNovember 17, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    So do the deceased binge as well as purge?

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousNovember 17, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    jimmy fungus stole my idea! :P

    ReplyDelete
  24. rumaNovember 17, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Hello, Copyboy.

    Awe inspiring your works...

    Thank you for your love and sincerity.
    Have a good day.

    The traditional celebration, with kimono infants.

    Japanese colored leaves, in heartwarming space.

    The prayer for all peace.

    Greetings.
    From Japan, ruma ❀

    ReplyDelete
  25. UnknownNovember 18, 2011 at 2:51 AM

    Bookmarked for the next time I need some quick funeral home vocab.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ChuckNovember 19, 2011 at 6:15 PM

    Thank you...now I must go purge!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rhonda AlbomNovember 20, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    Yep, exactly as I expected, there are already tons of comments joking about purging.

    ReplyDelete

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