Thursday, November 17, 2011

HIP FUNERAL PARLOR LINGO


In case you find yourself at a mortuary mixer, here are some terms you might find useful.

CASKET RACK - A device which allows caskets to be placed one on top of the other for display purposes.

CENOTAPH - An empty tomb or monument erected in memory or a person buried elsewhere.

DISINTER - To remove the remains from the burial place; to dig up.

INTER - To bury a dead body in the earth in a grave or tomb.

INURNMENT - The placing of the ashes of one cremated in an urn.

NICHE - A hollowed space in a wall made especially (in this connotation) for placing of urns containing cremated remains.

PURGE - A discharge from the deceased through the mouth, nose and ears of matter from the stomach and intestine caused by improper or ineffectual embalming, due to putrefaction.

SLUMBER ROOM - A room equipped with, besides the usual furniture, a bed upon which the deceased is placed prior to casketing on the day of the funeral. The body, appropriately dressed, lies in state on the bed.

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27 comments:

  1. At last! You told me some stuff I don't know. It's important to know funeral lingo so I'll be able to help my kids decide what to do with me after I'm dead. And I do mean after. I will haunt them, and they know it.

    Love,
    Lola

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  2. I've only known one person that used a slumber room, except they used a chaise lounge, rather than a bed.

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  3. Guess who's gonna dream with the Crypt Keeper tonight?!

    THIS GUY right here!

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  4. purge~ I'm not so sure I want to know that....creepy.

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  5. Thank you very much for the second to last one on the list. It also made me purge my morning coffee. Blech!

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  6. Wow, a bit dark today are we? And purge, that sounds horrifying.

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  7. I wonder what kind of insider terms they have that might offend others. Every profession has one.

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  8. You're the king of teaching me new things copyboy, great post as always. It's always a good thing to be schooled in the language of an undertaker!

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  9. I saw a lot of purges when I worked in a hospital.

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  10. I'd heard of Cenotaphs but didn't know just what one was.

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  11. I had a friend who was an embalmer. Pretty fucking creepy. Good money, though.

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  12. The purge would freak me out...

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  13. This post kinda makes me want to go into the mortuary biz!

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  14. When I go shopping for my casket I will be using these terms for sure!

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  15. I just learned a bunch of new words! The only ones I knew already were Inter and Inurnment. I wonder if they really do have mixers. I don't think I would want to go to one of those!

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  16. What do you do in your spare time again?

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  17. I hope I don't purge after I'm dead. Not nice. No Kleenex in a coffin.

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  18. Jesse, you left out the creepiest mortuary word ever: cremains. I think this means all the ashes, bone chunks and clinkers that have to be inurned.

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  19. I think I will use this hip funeral parlor lingo to impress all the Goth chicks.

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  20. I guess I won't accept any more slumber party invites.
    xoRobyn

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  21. I've always thought cenotaph was a drug. D:

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  22. So do the deceased binge as well as purge?

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  23. Hello, Copyboy.

    Awe inspiring your works...

    Thank you for your love and sincerity.
    Have a good day.

    The traditional celebration, with kimono infants.

    Japanese colored leaves, in heartwarming space.

    The prayer for all peace.

    Greetings.
    From Japan, ruma ❀

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  24. Bookmarked for the next time I need some quick funeral home vocab.

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  25. Thank you...now I must go purge!

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  26. Yep, exactly as I expected, there are already tons of comments joking about purging.

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