Monday, November 21, 2011

OH NO I SAID TOO MUCH (an ongoing series)


Time for another cringe-worthy post that asks – how well do you really know the freak writing this blog? Again I’m not talking about the topical stuff (my favorite color, Gummi bear's flavor, and hair metal band). Nope. I’m going to reveal some moderately creepy stuff. So buckle up and keep all hands and legs inside.
This week’s topic: GAMES PEOPLE PLAY
On a crisp March day in 1998 I played a game. The game was @sshole. Anyone ever hear of it? It’s a wondrous drinking game played with a simple deck of cards and a group of 20-somethings. Everyone takes turns throwing down cards. The first person to get rid of their cards is the president, then vice, secretary, and so on until you get to the lowly @sshole.

Now whoever is the prez is the most powerful person. He (or she) can make anyone drink. The next most powerful is the vice, and well, you get the gist. This is where our story starts. I won president. And one of my friends was @sshole. Oh and he’s also a highway patrolman in Delaware.

Now here’s where it gets awkward.
We made a pact. If I didn’t make him drink for the entire round he would allow me to do the following 2 misdemeanors without getting arrested in the entire state of Delaware. 
#1 – Deface a church or temple.


#2 – Make love to a chicken.

As of late I have done neither. Though I believe there is no time limit. So if I ever do get the urge – you know where to find me. Jealous much?

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26 comments:

  1. You are sick!! I only ever just heavy-pet my chickens!

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  2. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from your cockadoodle doo.

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  3. Better make sure he's still on the force. I'm sure he probably is, he sounds qualified.

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  4. thanks for the new blog of the day :p
    its been more than 12 years since the pact, pick a chicken quick !

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  5. I've played that game way more times than I wish to mention. However, we call it something else which is complete politically incorrect (I will NOT go into the details). And I love being the "asshole" as you put it. Its fun you get to play asshole character, which they can't blame you for!

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  6. Where to find you? Making love to a chicken on the third pew of Dover's Church of Latter Day Saints?
    xoRobyn

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  7. I think it's safe to say, he conned you into making him not drink during the round. He's also going to "forget" as well.

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  8. I propose making love to a chicken, and then pulling out and getting it over a church. Yeah, I went there. You want to get both done at once if you ask me, or you'll just ask yourself if you have the balls to do the other one.

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  9. I'm a lapsed catholic so still no defacing of religious buildings...so do I need lube?

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  10. well, when the time comes, make sure you let us know!

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  11. Stay away from the chicken! The temple sounds more fun anyway so go for it! And yes, let us know if you do decide, that highway patrolman sounds like quite the legend!

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  12. Never heard of this game Jesse. Damn...but then again in my 20's I was married and rockin' a baby. Now my teens.....that's another story. haha

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  13. I WANT TO DEFACE A CHURCH! This isn't fair. Wtf.

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  14. Sounds complicated. We just played quarter. Usually chickens weren't involved either.

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  15. I want to deface a chicken and have sex in a church. Facebook Twitter

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  16. I thought I was gonna get to the end of this and discover that the picture I saw of a man fucking a chicken (don't ask) was you.

    Disappointed. Much.

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  17. My name is really Chicken. xoxo

    Love,
    Lola

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  18. will ther be pictures involved for proof

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  19. Ah, so all those people I swear under my breath as assholes driving around had been in drinking games...that makes sense now...

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