BE A KNOW-IT-ALL DOUCHE AT THE NEXT PARTY.

Oh come on. You know you want to...Just once. And here's a doozy of a douchey comment that'll have party people talkin'.

Perfect party setting:
Group drinking champagne

Douchey Factoid:
"So did you know the wife of the owner of Clicquot champagnes actually revolutionized the industry? No joke. In 1816 she created riddling (or rémuage). A process that removes the byproducts left from fermentation. Seriously. She'd turn the bottles upside down and when the crap settled on the cork she'd freeze the neck, remove it, and re-cork it. That's why they named the champagne after her. Veuve means widow in French."

You're welcome.