Thursday, September 2, 2010

I’M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, BUT I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY A CERTAIN CBS TV POSTER.


Just thought I should share what’s been creepin’ and crawlin’ around in my head for the last couple of weeks. So every now and then I take the NYC subway [the 1 and L train for those keepin’ score at home.] Anyhow, I have to walk through this long stone cave-like path to connect to the other train. Along my journey I usually find myself staring at the white washed walls littered with posters of new movies, PSA messages about venereal diseases, and teasers for upcoming shows. 

One of which is the remake of Hawaii Five-O. It stars Scott Caan (son of James), Daniel Dae Kim (Lost fame), Alex O’Loughlin (of a previous failed CBS medical drama), and the cylon chick from Battlestar –Grace Park. The series will air Monday nights on CBS at 10pm.


So back to the homo-erotica part. Actually, to make a longish post shorter, here’s my mental journal of when the arousal might’ve occurred. 

DAY #1:
Must’ve been 3 weeks ago I saw it. It looked just like the photo pictured above, only this one featured just a soaking wet Daniel and Alex. I felt nothing towards the poster at this point.

DAY#2:
Still felt nothing, but admired the wave effect.

DAY #3:
Noticed that both actors are wet, but still felt nothing.

DAY #4:
Noticed shirts are fitted and also soaked. Valued the stylistic approach. Again, I still felt nothing.

DAY #5:
I had one butterfly in the stomach when walking by (I’m 68% sure it was ‘cause of the Thai food I ate for lunch).

DAY #6:
Had a couple of more butterflies, but the feelings NEVER spread to my loins.

DAY #7 to NOW:
Consistent butterflies. None ever flutters to the groin.


SO WHAT HAPPENED?
I’m thinking it's 'cause of these 5 reasons:
  • Water is known to be sensual.
  • The poster evokes this forbidden allure of the far east (or west).
  • Tight, wet clothes.
  • I have a thing for the cylon-chick and I know she’s gotta also be in a version of the poster.
  • I was a fan of Lost.

So that’s it. To date I’ve tried to avoid the poster. Though it always seems to find me. Either by way of a bus, a phone booth (yes, we have those in NYC), and billboards. Again, I do like women (a lot!), I’m just wondering why this poster does what it does to me. Questions? Answers? Complaints?

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9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. oops. meant to reply. sorry. you did have a point BTW.

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  3. Mayhap it's just the context and not the content that's doing it. Perhaps you just have a Hawaii Five-O fetish?

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  4. The movie poster for Alvin and the Chipmunks did that to me.

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  5. Nothing tingled in my groin. It just made me wanna go pee.

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  6. NO WAY. They can't remake Hawaii Five-O.

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  7. They put something in your water dude...stick to Ozarka!

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