AND FINALLY, AN EASY SOLVE FOR GETTING BITS OF DEAD HOOKER OUT OF YOUR COUCH.

This marks the 5^th and final installment of this series. In case you missed one of my gems here is the rundown.

EASY SOLVE FOR GETTING BITS OF DEAD HOOKER OUT OF YOUR JEANS

EASY SOLVE FOR GETTING BITS OF DEAD HOOKER OUT OF YOUR WALL

BEST WAY TO REMOVE DEAD HOOKER BLOOD STAINS FROM YOUR CAR

EASY SOLVE FOR DEAD HOOKER STAINING UP THE CARPET

Again, I am not the person to consult about the body itself. I’m also not one to judge. Sure, I’d never put myself in that situation. However I do understand that bachelor parties have a tendency to get out of control. People do go on coke binges. It’s an insane, madcap world. 

For argument sake let’s just assume the body is not an issue. All you have to deal with now is cleaning the remnants of the dead hooker and blood out of the couch. Remember time is of the essence. You must act quickly before the stains set in.

Step #1:

Use a wet vac to pick up all the dead hooker pieces.

Step #2:

Soak a rag in cold water.

Step #3:

Dab (do not rub) the bloody areas of the couch with cold water.

Step #4:

For tough bloodstains try wiping the area with baby wipes.

Step #5:

If all else fails sponge the stain with the following choices…

• Hydrogen peroxide
• Oxi Clean (with warm water)
• A mixture of cornstarch, talcum powder and cold water
• Club soda
• Store bought spot removers

Step #6:

Allow couch to dry then dab area once again with cold water and repeat cleaning if necessary.