In a handful on months yours truly will be veering off highway 30 and heading to interstate 40. To prepare for this wrong right of passage I’d like to be as healthy as possible. Which means I need to lower my cholesterol, adult my wardrobe, and of course lose some weight. When it comes to the latter, I wanted to shed pounds as fast as I could. Unfortunately, none of the diets seemed to fit my lifestyle. That is until my friend told me about Dr. Helmut Larrs’s book – THE MEALWORM DIET. At first I was skeptical (and a bit grossed out), but I got to admit it really works. I’ve lost 8 pounds in just under 6 weeks.
SO WHAT IS THE MEALWORM DIET?
In 1996 Dr. Helmut hypothesized that 60% of our daily lives are spent ingesting what he likes to call BORING CALORIES. Chomping on chips at work. Chugging brews at the park. And of course fingering jars of whole mayo late at night. His book is filled with simple exercises that will help you unlearn those habits. And to curb your appetite, Dr. L suggests adding protein rich mealworms to your diet. Apparently the larvae secrete an enzyme called hydroxycirate which has been proven to suppress hunger (see diagram).
SO WHAT’S ON THE MEALWORM MENU?
Here’s a sample of what a day’s worth of meals consist of:
BREAKFAST: MEALWORM ORANGE SMOOTHIE
Ingredients: 1 orange, 3 tsp. of mealworms (crushed), ice chips, and plain yogurt.
LUNCH: MEALWORM LETTUCE WRAP
Ingredients: Lettuce, 6 tsp. of whole mealworms, ground tofu, bean sprouts, and organic mayonnaise.
SNACK: MEALWORM POPSICLES
Ingredients: Fruit juice (your choice), ¼ of crushed ice, 4 tsp of mealworms.
DINNER: SENSIBLE MEAL
It takes a bit to get used to, but after about a week it’ll all seem right as rain. So if you’re looking for a quick, yet healthy way to lose weight I can’t speak for THE MEALWORM DIET enough. In fact, why should I? Click here to let Dr. Larrs tell you in his own life-changing words.
Am I being punked? Ashton, where you at? Your eating worms? Forreals?
ReplyDeleteClick the link. :)
ReplyDeleteOh crap. I seriously almost puked from reading this. Puking from disgust AND laughter.
ReplyDeleteI'm not EVER gonna stick any mealworms in my mouth! there's probably a fish hook buried in them...I done a lot of things before, but being pan fried, isn't one of them...
ReplyDeleteFYI...I am on some sort of diet, but this isn't it. I made the whole thing up. :) Happy 5 month anniversary of APRIL FOOLS' DAY.
ReplyDeleteNo fluken nice of you. Are you on a snail diet instead?
ReplyDeletexo
PS I meant "Not"
ReplyDeleteI clicked the link. Newsflash: It's SEPTEMBER 1st, you goon. ;)
ReplyDeleteThere's worse things than mealworms...
ReplyDeleteI'll stick to my tapeworms thank you. At least, that's what they tell me...
ReplyDeleteIf you go to the Insectarium in New Orleans, you have have mealworm salsa. Only with WHOLE mealworms.
ReplyDeletePsst, Marlene - he said 5th month anniversary lol
Oh, and swear to all that is good and holy, a girl in my biology class told me yesterday that termites taste JUST LIKE CARROTS and that she has 60 cicadas in her freezer waiting for her to consume them. They have actual meat inside and... I don't remember the rest b/c I had to walk away. Even though she was talking to me. And only me.
dude that is so nasty. that ice pop looks yummy though. in fact, it reminds me of summers when i was a kid, may have to blog about it. ha ha!
ReplyDeleteSonofabitch! I was just googling "Flukers mealworms" !
ReplyDelete