CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BLOG POST

Remember way back when we didn’t have the internet? You wanna know what I did as a kid (other than get my ass kicked in kickball)? I read those crummy CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE STORIES. Those were the books that promised you were in control of the story. Essentially you’d read a chapter (or two). Then at a certain point the novel would say something like…

TURN TO PAGE 22 If you want the Blue Knight fight the dragon.

TURN TO PAGE 18 If you want the Blue Knight to flee.

Invariably whatever story path you chose it always lead you to some sort of boring, happy ending. None of ‘em ever really lived up to the loads of DIE HARD-ish action promised on the cover. 

IF YOU THINK THIS IS A BORING POST READ THE GREEN PASSAGE.

IF YOU THINK THIS IS A GENIUS POST READ THE PINK PASSAGE.

Green passage: 

You think that this blog has finally jumped the shark. You’re even considering writing a nasty comment. Though just as you’re about to type in your first four-letter word your body starts to tingle. Turns out you have a scorching case of body lice, and for some reason you are compelled to click here.

Pink passage:

You think this post is sooo genius you are considering sending this blogger a Whitman Sampler. 

You also will write a sweet comment and convince thousands of your friends to follow this blog. And of course you are compelled to click here.