Sure you might have read some of my other posts. And maybe once in a great while I enlightened you, made you sniffle, cringe, or guffaw. But honestly, how well do you really know me? I’m not just talking about the surface stuff. I’m talkin’ real details. Well since this a blog I aim reveal some pretty personal stuff in the coming months.
This week’s topic: URINE
At night I wake up at least 2 times to pee.
1st time: 2:48am
2nd time: 4:42am
During a night of boozing I can drink at least 4.5 beers before breaking the seal.
I have only pissed myself twice in my life:
1st time: Stuck in traffic coming home from a Jets game.
(I was wasted, but not driving)
2nd time: Wasted while walking home from a NY Knicks game.
(could not find a toilet)
BONUS TRADING CARD (collect all 4):
Marry me.
ReplyDeleteYour mommy would be so proud of her little pisser
ReplyDeleteyou pee twice every night!!?? Good grief! I never have to pee in the middle of the night... though after one beer I have to pee, so you have me beat there!
ReplyDeleteLoving the collector's card - but only 4?
ReplyDeleteUp twice a night to pee at your age? You may want to chat to your GP/pharmacist about BPH...that's the medical writer in me talking :)
ReplyDeletehehhehe try avoid having too much of liquid before dozing off.
ReplyDeleteMy desire for you suddenly increased ten fold
ReplyDeleteReally dude? You couldn't have found a wall or a phone pole to pee on? Now, that's just self indulgent. LMAO
ReplyDeleteBut your a guy. Why didn't you just flop that shit out and piss where you were? I know 5 year olds who can piss out a window. Seriously. Even a few woman who couldn't hold it and just bent down. That may sound trashy, but hey, least they didn't piss themselves...
ReplyDeleteI sometimes pee twice a night too! I am pretty sure that we pee at the exact same times too! Aww...we're pee-mates! Never pissed myself though. I like to find dark corners to pee in. No matter where I am. No toilet, no problem.
ReplyDeleteProbably should've explained that the "piss myself" moments occurred in NYC in the 90s. The time when the police were out in full force handing fines out to any public pee people. Still no excuse for my actions, just thought you guys would like to know that little factoid.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we've all truly gotten to know the real you. That trading card is a brilliant idea. Can't wait to see the rest.
ReplyDeleteI can see me in 5 years scouring yard sales with my son looking for these cards..Dammit I got all but urine!!
ReplyDeleteI think we should all have lifetime urine stats. Then we could make some kind of game out of them like Magic the Gathering. But with pee.
ReplyDeleteI'm a twice a nighter...but then I'm 67 years old.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the follow and visit. I returned the favor.
I pee around 5:30 if I drink a lot before I go to bed. When I was pregnant I got up to pee every three or four hours during sleep and every 20 minutes during the day.
ReplyDeleteI wake up to pee ONCE around 4am and it really pisses me off (for lack of a better term).
ReplyDeleteFour and a half beers? I'd never make it that far...
ReplyDelete4.5? That's impressive. I'm pretty proud of my 3.5 but after that i'm in broken seal land for the remainder of the evening/afternoon/entireday.
ReplyDeleteNY cops should've been more concerned about people wearing pee-drenched pants like that than peeing under a tree.
ReplyDeletexo
If you hadn't peed your pants you might have gotten uromysitisis and died...not wait, the was Seinfeld.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever sing the song I'm A Little Pee Pot?
Never look at the clock when you get up to pee. It only depresses you and keeps you awake thinking about how little time there is left before the alarm goes off! DO NOT make eye contact.
when do we get to hear when you poop yourself? Now that's a card we all need to see. No I'm kidding, I feel bad. Once I was stuck in traffic after a Lightning playoff game and almost peed myself by the time I got to a rest stop. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteLOL....I'm not laughing AT you...I'm laughing WITH you!
ReplyDeleteO_o
ReplyDeletewow... haha!!! You're brave...
I forgive your pissiness, you are a friggin' genius...
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, don't go to anymore Jet's games!
Break the seal. Hahaha...my daughter used that expression a few weeks ago and I said "what the hell does that mean" and she explained it...I thought it was so funny...and now u used it too!!!hahaha
ReplyDeleteI have NEVER pissed myself! See ya