Saturday, September 18, 2010

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BLOG POST


Remember way back when we didn’t have the internet? You wanna know what I did as a kid (other than get my ass kicked in kickball)? I read those crummy CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE STORIES. Those were the books that promised you were in control of the story. Essentially you’d read a chapter (or two). Then at a certain point the novel would say something like…

TURN TO PAGE 22 If you want the Blue Knight fight the dragon.

TURN TO PAGE 18 If you want the Blue Knight to flee.


Invariably whatever story path you chose it always lead you to some sort of boring, happy ending. None of ‘em ever really lived up to the loads of DIE HARD-ish action promised on the cover. 

IF YOU THINK THIS IS A BORING POST READ THE GREEN PASSAGE.

IF YOU THINK THIS IS A GENIUS POST READ THE PINK PASSAGE.


Green passage: 
You think that this blog has finally jumped the shark. You’re even considering writing a nasty comment. Though just as you’re about to type in your first four-letter word your body starts to tingle. Turns out you have a scorching case of body lice, and for some reason you are compelled to click here.


Pink passage:
You think this post is sooo genius you are considering sending this blogger a Whitman Sampler. 

You also will write a sweet comment and convince thousands of your friends to follow this blog. And of course you are compelled to click here.

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10 comments:

  1. Well, this just solidified my undying love for you like nothing else ever could.

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  2. *Applauds*

    While I am in no way tempted to send you a sampler, I will say it was genius. Plus I went back and read the other way too and seeing Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now made me laugh.

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  3. Just freaking classic Jesse!
    The candy is in the virtual mail...

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  4. That's awesome!
    You can also find some fun Choose You Own Adventure stories at Cracked.com . They've got, like, a whole series of hilarious ones.

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  5. I think I will keep your sampler for myself but I will think of you while I eat it and say 'that Copyboy sure is genius'

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  6. They were supposed to all have happy endings? Why did I get the endings that were crappy then?

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  7. That was so creative! I loved it!

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