Calm down! And don’t think for a second about using tobacco from nasty cigarettes. Just take a couple of deep breaths. You all relaxed? Good. Now walk right into your kitchen. Chances are you have perfectly safe, yet fun subsitutes right in your cabinet.
PICK #1: GREEN TEA
Cost: A brick goes for only $9.99
The Good: Loaded with vitamin C.
The Bad: Funky smell when smoked.
But will it get me high? Not really, but it does contain caffeine so you will catch a Red Bull worthy buzz.
PICK #2: NUTMEG
Cost: 1.9 oz goes for $41
The Good: So-so remedy for diarrhea (if mixed with a banana).
The Bad: Causes pleasant symptoms like nausea, dry mouth and a rapid heartbeat for around 12 hours.
But will it get me high? Yes, nutmeg contains the hallucinogenic ingredients myristicin and elemicin. However in order to work it needs to be taken in high doses.
PICK #3: OREGANO
Cost: 16 oz goes for $16
The Good: Rich source of antioxidant vitamins.
The Bad: Smoking it will cause shortness of breath and possible lung damage.
But will it get me high? Looks like pot, but that’s where the similarities end. There is a 0.00% chance you will be tripping balls.
I think I'll just sell the bong.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a bong?
ReplyDeleteSomewhere in my past I recall a book about what can and can't be abused to get a person high. I'm not saying I tried any, but I..Okay, I did...
ReplyDeleteWe really needed to know this.
ReplyDeleteI did the nutmeg--hallucinations, not fun. When I was a teen, I was too scared to smoke pot, so I took some typing paper and rolled up some formosa oolong tea in it. My friend and I smoked it and then vomited--nasty, nasty! Problem was, my dad found the teacup we were using as an ashtray and said, "you know what this is? This is pot! You are not to smoke pot!" I blushed and said, "I promise I'll never smoke pot." I'd rather get busted for pot than formosa oolong.
ReplyDeleteYeah, think I'll take a pass on this one!
ReplyDeleteThankyou for an informative (and timely) post *puts oregano back in cupboard*
ReplyDeleteHahaha great , informative post, will have to remember this list for some friends of mine.
ReplyDeleteGood Lawd....at first I thought I read DONG.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a greatt read
ReplyDelete