Friday, January 21, 2011

I DRANK DIP SPIT…LET’S GET PAST IT.


Date: Some Friday summer night back in 1995.

If you asked my friends, they’d swear I acted like a pansy that night and deserved what I got. We were at some microbrew-ish bar called Zip City Brewery. My head started bobbing ‘cause I was so tir… [Cue sitcom-like dream sequence]

Me: [yawn]

Friend #1: Dude, it’s 10:30. C’mon! Wake up!

Me: I’m wiped.

 
Friend #2: You shouldn’t had those 2 Zimas while watching X-files.

Friend #1 [takes out a yellow pill]: Here, take a NoDoz.

Me: I’m not taking that…wait what is it?


Friend #1: It’s f*cking caffeine. It’s like a Jolt.

Me: Hey, who sings this song? This is hmmm hmmmm hmmm....Break...Breakfast at Tiffanies?!

Friend #1: Quit stalling.

Friend #2: Deep Blue Something. Take the freakin’ pill asshole.

Me: Fine, but I’ll only take it in a beer.

[While I semi-doze off my friend puts the pill in my beer. I woke up just enough to take a sip]

Me (shout): DEAR GOD [Friend’s name], DID YOU DIP?!!!!!!!

CUT to a visual of a string of dip spit trailing from my mouth to the bottle. I have a look of horror on my face (complete with wet tobacco bits all over my lips).

[End Scene]

What really happened?
My friend put the pill in the wrong beer bottle. The bottle that my buddy was using for his dip saliva. YES my friends, I TOOK A SWIG OF DIP SPIT.
  
So how did it taste?
Between you and me, it didn’t taste that bad. Sorta like foamy chamomile tea, mixed with pencil and cork. It also had an oaky finsh. To this day I never forgot that taste. And I’m sure I never will. Happy Friday!

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45 comments:

  1. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com

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  2. Gah-ross! I thought only the dipshits out here in the west dipped. I can imagine burping that taste for hours. Did it wake you up? You might have invented a new energy drink.

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  3. Awesome! I've done the same thing - minus the NoDoz, of course. Deep Blue Something. Again. Awesome.

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  4. gross.

    http://springsci.blogspot.com/

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  5. That's the grossest thing I've heard all day.

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  6. grodey to the max!

    or was that the 80's?

    i am just really kinda grossed out...

    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy
    dreamodeling!

    ReplyDelete
  7. gnarly! i genuinely hope that never happens to me.

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  8. Honestly, that did make me throw up in my mouth a little...

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  9. bahaha that's gross man. My friends would have a face full of fist.

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  10. What a charming story. I think I shall go dry heave for a moment. lol

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  11. Did that once, then immediate vomited.

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  12. My dad use to dip and he would spit into pepsi cans and purposely place them in the fridge and replace my drink. Now every time I leave a drink out of my sight I will not drink from it.

    ITT: my dad was a dick and a pro at setting up booby-traps

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  13. I can't even imagine how gross that would be.

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  14. hahaha sucks dude... i used to do dip back in college... got in a fight once with a lip full of tobacco. long story short, i swallowed that whole thing...

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  15. oh man what the hell
    great story i tell you

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  16. I have a really strong stomach but that would have made me puke. OMG gross. I like the way you wrote this one.

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  17. yeah thats gross. Many times I have seen that happen with a stray beer bottle at a party.Its gross every time.

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  18. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth!

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  19. ya know what that is what you get for drinking Zima's dude!

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  20. im not the only one, thank god. but this makes u want to die there for a second

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  21. I'll pass!
    And damn, do they still make Jolt Cola?

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  22. eww that is just nasty sorry but it is.

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  23. Ok that actually happened to me once too. Dad spit in a Coke can and then I took a drink. Freakin nastiest thing in the world.

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  24. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

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  25. FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    fml!!! why o why

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  26. thanks and so sweet of u add my blog. This is one interesting blog.

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  27. You poor bugger! Ack, ack, ack!!!

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  28. I have come close to doing this a few times, disgusting

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  29. "And I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany's" thanks dude, now it's stuck in my head! I grew up in Alabama, around here everyone has drank dip spit at some point. Except, of course, me! I'd like to keep it that way!

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  30. I actually gagged just now! I've never drank anyboy elses dip spit, but I did accidently swallow some of my own (back in the day).
    disgusting....

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  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

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